A lot of my male clients ask me about the stimulation of the prostate
It seems that men really want to know more and want to be able to explore it and experience it with their lovers. But since it’s a topic covered with a lot of shame and embarrassment, it’s not easy to find quality information about it.
Many men worry that enjoying anal stimulation might make them gay. Others feel ashamed to mention such a desire to their partners. Others still worry about potential pain or discomfort caused by anal touch. And I feel that it’s important to acknowledge your potential concerns and worries. And then the next step is to look more closely into them.
Because the truth is that every single person has a sensitive anus
There is a high concentration of nerve endings there, meaning that anal touch can be really pleasurable or even orgasmic for anyone – whether you’re a man, a woman, a non-binary person, whether you identify as straight, gay or subscribe to any other sexual orientation.
And once we understand that pleasurable anal stimulation is natural, healthy and fun, we can move on to actually exploring it. So here are my 10 tips for an amazing prostate massage:
1/ Cut your nails
Ladies or gentlemen performing anal touch on your lover, make sure to keep your nails short. This is very important! The tissue lining the anus both internally and externally is very sensitive and even a little scratch can be very unpleasant for your partner. You can even use nitrile gloves for extra protection in case your fingers are rough or nails are a bit longer.
2/ Have an enema
The recipient of the prostate massage may opt for an enema or a douche in order to rinse the inside of the anal canal. This is not necessary but might make you feel more comfortable if you’re worried about traces of faeces.
As an extra tip, the nitrile gloves I mentioned in my previous point will also protect you – the giver of the prostate massage – in case you encounter faecal matter inside the rectum, which is not uncommon.
3/ Relax your partner
Don’t rush your prostate massage. Take your time and make sure that your partner is truly relaxed first. This way the entire experience will be much more pleasurable for them. So lay them down comfortably on either their back or stomach and massage their entire body gently and lovingly.
4/ Relax the anus
Anal sphincters located at the entrance of the anal canal are meant to keep everything moving out. So as soon as something is introduced from the outside, they’ll tense up to stop the intrusion which can make anal touch painful or uncomfortable.
You can actually convince these sphincters to stay open by massaging, stroking and caressing the anus externally first. Please make sure to use some kind of lubricant here to make sure you don’t hurt your partner – a coconut oil works particularly well.
Here are a few ways to massage that anus externally:
- Gently holding still
- Brushing past the anal opening with your fingers
- Massaging it in circles
- Opening up the anus by spreading the muscles, you can actually use both thumbs here
- You can also do it by alternating the fingers
- Applying the door bell motion
- Blowing on it, particularly when you’re gently spreading the muscles
- Using the edge of your hand and going up and down
All of these different strokes will keep relaxing the anus so take your time here and don’t rush.
5/ Internal massage
Once your partner’s anus is fully relaxed, you can begin the internal massage. First simply introduce just the tip of your finger inside and hold it there. This is where the sphincters are so you can also ascertain here just how open and ready the anus is.
If you’re sensing tension, use your words to gently guide your partner to relax these muscles. They might be unaware of the tension and your guidance can be very helpful.
Next, start applying gentle pressure on the sphincters in 4 directions, going down, to the side, up and to the other side. Make sure to hold each one of these points for at least a minute. You can also generally massage and caress the sphincters here.
6/ Go deeper!
When you feel like your partner is ready for more, allow your finger to slide a bit deeper, maybe just past your first knuckle. And again, stretch the area in 4 directions, massage, be gentle, patient and loving here.
When you can introduce your finger even deeper, up to about the second knuckle, you’ll be able to massage the prostate. Prostate is a walnut-sized gland located below the bladder. You can sense it with your finger when pressing into the front wall of the rectum, towards the belly of your partner.
Feel free to explore this area and massage it up and down along the prostate gland, or in circles or to each side (to the left and right of the prostate). Experiment with different pressure, speed and depth of your touch.
7/ Penis massage
If your partner is lying on his back or on his side, adding some gentle stimulation of the penis can be very pleasurable here. But don’t stroke him hard and fast. You don’t want to make him ejaculate. You simply want to enhance his prostate massage.
Point number 8 is really crucial and it’s to stay in communication with your partner.
Everybody is different and they respond differently to anal touch and prostate massage. So stay sensitive to your partner’s needs, keep enquiring about how they’re feeling and about parts of the massage that they enjoy most.
Your partner might enjoy it even more if you include a toy or two in your massage. There is a variety of anal toys available on the market so make sure to explore them and purchase the ones that pique your interest.
Vibrating toys gently applied externally to the anal opening can induce particularly strong pleasure sensations.
When you’re finished with your massage, cover your partner with a sheet and stay right next to him. Don’t go anywhere, don’t leave his side! Give him as much time as he needs to stay in this blissful state and to fully integrate the entire experience.
Once he’s ready to open his eyes and speak, offer him your loving attention. He might want to talk about his experience, he might want a cuddle, he might want a drink… make sure to take a good care of him as he might be feeling raw and vulnerable at this point.
So there you have it, a complete guide to giving your partner a safe, pleasurable and blissful prostate massage
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