When I was in my 20s, I really loved dating. And a big part of my excitement were the preparations for each date – doing my hair and makeup and dressing up nicely for the man I was about to meet.
And I was absolutely certain that I had to show him the most sexy, gorgeous and attractive version of myself if I wanted him to stay.
There is obviously nothing wrong with that – men LOVE to look at beautiful women! But I was lacking a deeper understanding of men and of human nature. Because you see, men love to have sex with women who arouse their desire. But they fall in love with women who intrigue them and touch them on a very profound level. And pretty looks, short skirts or even boobie shots cannot create that kind of attraction.
So here are 3 surprising things that make men fall in love:
1/ Her passion
A woman who is deeply passionate about something is charismatic and very attractive to men. And it usually doesn’t matter what her passion is – it can be playing cello or collecting tupperware. He will find it exciting and even mesmerising to witness her talking about or acting on something that gives her so much joy that she immerses herself in it completely.
The reason why so many women get this wrong is that we’re conditioned to be pleasers. When a woman wants to impress a guy, she’ll adopt his passions and activities. But men see through this, lose attraction and walk away.
Instead of bending yourself backwards to show him that the two of you are alike, express yourself through what truly opens up your heart and makes your soul sing. He will see and admire your passion.
2/ Her authenticity
Most women at their core want to love someone and be loved in return. In order to achieve that, they might be willing to sacrifice their own views, opinions and dreams if these are not aligned with the decisions or views of the man they want to seduce or keep. But what huge majority of men find attractive is a woman who is fiercely committed to what she believes in and who won’t bend to please others.
We all need to be open to negotiation and a change of plans from time to time. But if you want him to stay by your side, show him that you have a spine and can make choices for yourself.
3/ Her femininity
Our culture encourages women to be successful, efficient and business-minded. We value punctuality, goals, results and hard work. But the essence of a woman is to flow, to be connected to her feelings and heart, instead of only living in her head. Women are softer than men, emotional and go through cyclical changes in line with their hormones and feelings. They’re intuitive and not always reasonable. To deny that aspect of a woman is to deny her true self.
Let go of the need to adhere to society’s standards and show him your feminine essence. The attraction between sexes is based on polarity between men and women. The more different we are, the more we attract each other. Men don’t always understand women’s complexity and emotionality but they’re always mesmerised by it.
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