I’m one of those people who never stop to learn. I’m a bit of an education addict! 

In order to deepen my expertise in working with women, I recently attended the Beyond Yoni Massage training run by Eyal Matsliah, a very gifted and experienced male practitioner. He has worked almost exclusively with women for many years now and I was curious to learn more about his approach.

One of the first questions he asked us was about what challenges us in sex. I don’t experience too many challenges in this area anymore, however, I was still able to pinpoint something.

 

What challenges you in sex?

I see myself as a slut – a woman who enjoys sex and pleasure. Who knows what she wants and can ask for it. Who sees sex as a beautiful gift to be enjoyed, as a crucial aspect of her life to be celebrated and cherished.

I sleep with men not because I want to have their babies, not because I want to marry them, not because I want to convince them to love me. I sleep with them because I want to and because I enjoy it. I self-pleasure on a regular basis and I love, love, love orgasms!

A lot of people in our society have a problem with a woman like me and this is what challenges me. There is a negative stigma attached to the word ‘slut’ and even in today’s day and age, some people feel it’s appropriate to shame me for my ways.

I find it challenging to let go of the fear that I might be judged, criticized or rejected. Particularly when I’m connecting with a new lover, there’s usually a tiny little voice at the back of my head whispering: “Will he abandon me because I slept with him too soon?”.

 

But I wear the ‘slut’ label with pride. 

I’m not the only person out there who enjoys sex. Actually, after working with over 1,000 clients over the last few years, nobody ever said to me “You know, I really don’t like sex, I wish I never had to do it!”.

Probably the phrase I hear most often is: “I don’t know about other men, but I am a really sexual person!”. I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that!

And as much as there are exceptions to everything – some people might have had traumatic experiences that cause them to experience some sort of distress during any sexual activity – the rest of us, regular population, really, really, really enjoy sex.

So after coming out to a group of twenty or so people at the workshop, now I’m coming out to you.

 

I am a slut and I want you to know it.

I also want to know your reaction to it. Did this trigger you, disgust you, shock you? Are you not certain how to respond? Or maybe you’re feeling empowered, open and touched by my sharing?

I hope to give you a permission to own and to savour your sexuality. I hope to encourage your voice and your expression when it comes to your pleasure and connection with your body.

Through my work I hope to give you tools and techniques that will be helpful with reclaiming your body as erotic. And I want you to see your sexuality as beautiful, natural and healthy.

Just as I see mine!

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