I’m one of those people who never stop to learn. I’m a bit of an education addict!
In order to deepen my expertise in working with women, I recently attended the Beyond Yoni Massage training run by Eyal Matsliah, a very gifted and experienced male practitioner. He has worked almost exclusively with women for many years now and I was curious to learn more about his approach.
One of the first questions he asked us was about what challenges us in sex. I don’t experience too many challenges in this area anymore, however, I was still able to pinpoint something.
What challenges you in sex?
I see myself as a slut – a woman who enjoys sex and pleasure. Who knows what she wants and can ask for it. Who sees sex as a beautiful gift to be enjoyed, as a crucial aspect of her life to be celebrated and cherished.
I sleep with men not because I want to have their babies, not because I want to marry them, not because I want to convince them to love me. I sleep with them because I want to and because I enjoy it. I self-pleasure on a regular basis and I love, love, love orgasms!
A lot of people in our society have a problem with a woman like me and this is what challenges me. There is a negative stigma attached to the word ‘slut’ and even in today’s day and age, some people feel it’s appropriate to shame me for my ways.
I find it challenging to let go of the fear that I might be judged, criticized or rejected. Particularly when I’m connecting with a new lover, there’s usually a tiny little voice at the back of my head whispering: “Will he abandon me because I slept with him too soon?”.
But I wear the ‘slut’ label with pride.
I’m not the only person out there who enjoys sex. Actually, after working with over 1,000 clients over the last few years, nobody ever said to me “You know, I really don’t like sex, I wish I never had to do it!”.
Probably the phrase I hear most often is: “I don’t know about other men, but I am a really sexual person!”. I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that!
And as much as there are exceptions to everything – some people might have had traumatic experiences that cause them to experience some sort of distress during any sexual activity – the rest of us, regular population, really, really, really enjoy sex.
So after coming out to a group of twenty or so people at the workshop, now I’m coming out to you.
I am a slut and I want you to know it.
I also want to know your reaction to it. Did this trigger you, disgust you, shock you? Are you not certain how to respond? Or maybe you’re feeling empowered, open and touched by my sharing?
I hope to give you a permission to own and to savour your sexuality. I hope to encourage your voice and your expression when it comes to your pleasure and connection with your body.
Through my work I hope to give you tools and techniques that will be helpful with reclaiming your body as erotic. And I want you to see your sexuality as beautiful, natural and healthy.
Just as I see mine!
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Beautiful story…thanks for sharing, although I don’t see you as a “SLUT”….just a beautiful, normal, healthy woman who isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants.
Helena that’s so interesting.i I hate the word it is applied to women who love the pleasure and enjoyment that their body has to offer. It is not applied to men who have a healthy sexual appetite. It’s a put down word .
I applaud your sexuality knowledge and the courage you have to
teach and mentor people and lead me into deeper levels of understanding. and awareness.
So if you.are a slut then so am I and also love it:)
I love you for being you and I honor all of you…
I felt very excited upon reading your comments with like views. How do I book a session with you ?
love it! thank you xx
Hi,
Great article. Hits on a point that we all should be embracing our sexuality and if you have challenges, you should be exploring them for answers.
The word “slut” has been used to much in resent times in a derogatory manner. I have always believed that there is no such thing as a “slut” within the parameters of the definition. I have always viewed a “slut” as someone who really enjoys sexual experiences.
Maybe we should start to use the word as an acronym for something positive, such as;
S=Sensual
L=Luscious
U=Undeniable
T=Temptress
Cheers.
Golden!
Well, they’ll just have to rewrite the dictionary.
The word “slut” is now an acronym
which now means…
S special
L lady who
U understands
T tantra
The last two letters could also be
“upholds truth”.
The only “shame” is that we don’t have
a wholly positive word for what you’ve
expressed in your article.
Helena , when I spoke to my eldest daughter about sex . I am a father by the way . I said celebrate your sexuality but choose good people with whom to celebrate with . It is so important for women to celebrate their sexuality . As you do . I have often wondered what is the equivalent for a male. I too am a slut by your definition . Tho sometimes this is frowned upon . As a male I become a user or some other negative title . When really I too want to celebrate my sexuality . Openly lovingly but I could easily be with more than one woman . And would like to be not necessarily at the same time but as connections are made . Open to it . So I am a slut too
You are a slut!
and you are amazing.
you are a slut,
and you’re beautlful.
you are a slut,
and I deeply respect and honor you for being that and owning that.
you are a slut,
and I love you.
I honor you for your bravery and integrity; and I call the blessings of all good things or forces, or energies on you.
Women in Western Societies suffer from patriarchal stigmas. If women are free in their sexuality, they will be free in other aspects and people are going to be free and sovereign.
Thus the stigmatisation of powerfull, “sexually explicit women”.
Thank you for your service in contributing to free the Western World (in some other cultures, women are more honoured for their sexual energy).
I loved this article, its time for us all to own our love and passion for sex great sex orgasms and the ecstacy of connecting in this amazing way with other sluts 🙂 having read your amazing coming out i have to come out and say then i am also a slut. i love sex i love human bodies and experiencing them, thank you for coming out Helena! x