I often speak to women who complain of discomfort during sex. It usually all starts quite well – with caresses, kisses, arousal and pleasure. But as things move into penetration, at some stage she experiences a drop in desire and his thrusting turns from highly pleasurable to uncomfortable.
This is usually the point where women start urging their lovers to hurry up and finish – yikes! not a great aphrodisiac!
There is a variety of reasons for this experience. Some of them are physical, some mental and other still – emotional. It’s important to recognize and address them. Otherwise, the pattern becomes stronger and she cannot remain wet and aroused during intercourse, even if she’s really trying.
In my video I explain why this phenomenon happens and I dive into 5 powerful ways to resolve it and to help her remain wet, juicy, turned on and keen for more!
P.S. Every one of us is very unique in a way that we experience pleasure, arousal and desire. Please make sure to test all of my tips for yourself. And maybe even come up with your own… 🙂
A lot of women I speak to describe an experience where they’re in the bedroom with their partners, both keep kissing, touching and caressing each other. The arousal builds and they’re both experiencing a lot of pleasure and desire. And so they move onto penetration and all feels amazing for quite a while. But as the intercourse progresses, at some point she starts to experience pain. As he keeps thrusting inside of her, it starts to feel like a burning friction. So in this video I’m going to show you why it happens and what to do about it!
Human arousal is complex and a lot of elements need to come together in order for us to feel “in the mood” for sex. It’s not only about the way he’s physically touching her. It’s also about her overall physical, emotional and mental state. And if these things are not aligned and taken care of, she can easily loose arousal during sex which will result in pain or discomfort for her during penetration. This is when women usually start urging their lovers to hurry up and finish. So here are a few simple ways to stay wet and aroused during sex!
1/ Stay connected to your own pleasure
Many women focus so strongly on pleasing their partner sexually, that they disconnect from their own bodies and their own sensuality. And it’s very difficult to remain aroused when you’re barely feeling your own body. So make sure to stay in your body, keep checking in with your body, breathing deeply, relaxing any tension and really noticing all the pleasurable sensations and erotic energy in your system.
2/ Take care of your own pleasure
Whenever you find that your arousal level is dropping and there are even slightest signs of discomfort, numbness or pain in your vagina, don’t just keep going, ignoring the discomfort your body is experiencing! Instead, touch and caress yourself in a way that will help. You can also ask your partner to do it for you! There’s nothing wrong with stopping the intercourse half way to manually or orally stimulate each other.
I have a few go-to’s when it comes to boosting my arousal but I always remain open and explore what my body might like and enjoy in that particular lovemaking session. I particularly like to stroke my breasts or caress my clitoris. I also have a small vibrator that comes in handy on different occasions.
3/ Check in with your emotions
Your emotional state will have a huge impact on your ability to get and stay aroused. So make sure to check in with yourself. Is the idea of being sexual with your partner bringing you joy, excitement and delight? Or do you feel frustrated with him, do you feel tired or even feeling resentful of something that happened in the past? These things can sit deeply in our subconscious so dig deep and be honest with yourself about how you feel. Because some things might need to be resolved or taken care of first, before you can surrender to the bliss of your lovemaking!
4/ Undulate your hips and body
Men tend to thrust in a in-and-out linear motion. This can definitely be stimulating and deeply pleasurable but for women, what feels really exquisite is the pressure on the vaginal walls. This is because the legs of the clitoris extend down on both sides of the vaginal canal. This kind of stimulation can be created when either or both partner undulate their hips and move their bodies in more circular, or wave-like ways.
A woman who regularly touches and caresses her own body, is much more activated sensually and sexually. She’s also much more capable of experiencing more pleasure and deeper arousal in your body. Because she knows exactly what her body needs and what it desires. She knows how it likes being touched and she can activate her sensuality easily.
Please play with these tips, particularly if you do struggle with lack of wetness, with low arousal and if you experience discomfort or pain during intercourse. And gentlemen, keep reminding your ladies to stay in their bodies and to remain connected to their breath, their genitals and their sensuality.
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:
Many years ago, when I was starting my tantric journey, I was a total sponge for all the tantric knowledge, experiences and practices that I could find. Apart from reading a ton of books about Tantra and going to all the workshops I could find, I was also visiting...read more
If you’re like most people, you probably always masturbate in the same way. It’s likely that over time you have developed a masturbation routine that works for you. This routine is a set of moves and strokes that give you pleasure and bring you to orgasm in the...read more
As a sex coach, I see the world a bit differently than others. I see it through the lens of sexual behaviours, desires and needs. I can quickly assess and determine what a person needs to create a healthier, much more fulfilling and satisfying intimacy in their life....read more