A lot of women come to me saying that they can’t orgasm during penetration. And in this article, I’m going to share with you exactly what I tell them!

 

So first of all, this topic is very close to my heart because for many years of my own sex life, I could NOT orgasm during sex. When I was younger, I was reading all the tips and articles in Cosmo and similar magazines. But none of their advice was working.

 

I eventually gave up trying and just resigned myself to a completely un-orgasmic sex life

 

But! Fortunately, life had other plans for me. And so I ended up going on a powerful journey of activating and cultivating my orgasmic potential.

 

And right now, I am multi-orgasmic. I can not only orgasm during sex easily, I can do it many, many times during each session of a sexual intercourse. And on top of that I can also enter into trance-like orgasmic states that can last for up to an hour.

 

And I feel that this is something I am in a particularly powerful position to teach other women because I not only studied this from books during my sexological education. This is something that I’ve gone through personally so I know exactly what my female clients are struggling with and how to help them.

 

So what’s the secret? How can ANY woman orgasm during penetration?

 

The ability to orgasm during intercourse comes down to two powerful elements. Let’s now look at both of them in detail.

 

1/ stimulation of erogenous zones

 

During a typical intercourse experience, a man’s penis is going in and out of the vagina as he is thrusting. So this means that his main erogenous zone (his cock) is rubbed, massaged and stroked entirely. Obviously, men have also other erogenous zones but this particular one is his easiest gateway to having an orgasm.

 

However, for a woman, the situation is very different. Her main erogenous zones – her clitoris and her gspot – are in most cases not stimulated at all or stimulated insufficiently during intercourse. This means that the thrusting motion is not creating enough arousal to take her over the edge of an orgasm.

 

This means a few things:

 

a) you as a woman need to know your pleasure zones and ideally you should be also regularly activating them through slow, conscious masturbation.

 

b) the in-and-out motion doesn’t usually work as well as the more sort of grinding motion, which is much better suited for stimulating all the right spots. So make sure to ask your partner to grind his hips instead of only going in-and-out.

 

You as a woman can also get on top and do the grinding yourself while paying a close attention to what particular body movements and positions give you most pleasure.

 

c) you as a woman should also experiment with different things like stroking your own clitoris during penetration (and some positions are obviously more suited to that than others), you might also try rhythmically clenching your pelvic floor muscle – it’s something that works really well for some women.

 

Or simply remember whatever it is that you do when you’re alone in order to bring yourself to a climax. And simply incorporate that into your partnered intercourse experience.

 

2/ ability to surrender to an orgasmic state

 

And the second big thing that allows women to orgasm during penetration is her ability to surrender to an orgasmic state.

 

This one is something that really took me a while to master. I would always go to my head and think my way through sex instead of feeling it all.

 

But think about it this way: pleasure that will take you into ecstasy is happening in your body. And as long as you’re thinking or worrying during sex, you’re just pulling yourself away from your bliss.

 

So here an ability to remain mindful, connected to your body and disconnected from your thinking mind is crucial!

 

On top of that being able to deeply relax into your pleasure will help. And this is one of the reasons why being on top doesn’t always work very well for me when I want to orgasm, because I really love to completely surrender during sex.

 

And I’ll typically feel a lot of delicious pleasure while I’m moving my body but that moment when I just relax and surrender, that’s when I usually fall into an expanded, full-body orgasm.

 

So I really encourage you to start thinking about sex as not so much something you do but something that you immerse yourself in, that you relax into, that you experience. And from that place, your orgasms will become much more effortless.

 

Please give all these tips a go and let me know in comments below what worked for you. Or maybe you’ve already tried some of these techniques??

 

And if you’d like more powerful tools and techniques, make sure to check out my Orgasmic Empowerment course for Women. This program is a 7-week journey for any woman who wants to heal, grow and expand her orgasmic potential.

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