Do you make assumptions in life? I bet that you do simply because… we all do! And a lot of the assumptions we make are supportive and help us function safely and happily in the world. But there are also a lot of unhealthy, untrue and toxic beliefs we form, often about our romantic and intimate lives, that harm us and our relationships.
Let me show you what I mean.
I recently got an email from one of the students of my Tantric Mastery for Men online course:
“I was on a date last week and was giving this girl a Yoni massage based on your video course.
How do I ask for feedback without appearing less confident?
I was told by the girl that when a guy asks for feedback – it shows he is not confident in his sexual ability. How can I manage this?”
My answer to him was:
“A lot of women seem to think that men should know everything about sex and about touching women. This assumption is wrong and unhelpful, particularly since every woman is different and likes to be touched differently.
It might be helpful to explain this to your date so that she understands your reasons for seeking her feedback.
So don’t stop asking! You will never learn how to please every single woman and it’s not your job to do so.
Your job is to learn the body of the woman you are with.
And you can only do that while touching her, seeking her feedback and learning her erotic anatomy.”
I find this point really important – you can learn how to give her a tantric massage, you can learn to stroke her body like a pro, you can learn how to connect with her deeply and intimately (you’ll learn all of that and more in the Tantric Mastery online course)…
BUT every single woman is different and will respond differently to these strokes and caresses. Most women will find them mind-blowing, others – simply pleasurable. Other women still will require a slight change in order to enjoy them fully.
So your job as a lover is never to be a master at pleasuring every single woman. That task would be impossible to achieve and unreasonable to expect of you. Your job is simply to become a master at pleasuring the woman you’re with – and that will require a lot of communication.
Most of my clients find sexual communication and seeking feedback in bed quite tricky.
This is why I included a special section in the Tantric Mastery course, teaching you simple yet very effective techniques to communicate better with each other in order to find the most perfect way to touch your lover. But you can also simply have a conversation about your likes, dislikes and preferences in bed. And it might be much more fun than you’d expect it to be!
Because it’s much better to give your partner 5 minutes of what they really, really want, than to give them 30 minutes of what you think they want!
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:
I still remember my very first Tantra workshop. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. All I knew was that my sex life sucked and that I needed to try something new. Tantra held no promises but I knew that it had something to do with extraordinary sexual...read more
It has always confused me why people rushed so much through foreplay and into the “main bit”, the penetration. Even more, it has always confused me why I seemed to rush into penetration in my earlier years, even though I knew that foreplay could provide me with...read more
“When you really get the knack of enjoying breathing, it becomes absolutely divine” – Diana Richardson. I love this quote! Tantra teaches us to FEEL the present moment instead of thinking about it. Being in the present moment means paying full attention...read more