As both a keen receiver and giver of spanking, I’ve learned over the years that this form of kink can be pleasurable, fun and even orgasmic when performed right. But it can also be unpleasant, irritating or painful when performed without appropriate skill or insight.

 

My own butt is a highly erogenous zone which enjoys many different kinds of touch…

 

… It also seems to draw my lovers’ hands to it almost magically as I cannot actually recall ever having a partner who was NOT spanking me on a regular basis.

 

Because of that, my ass has experienced many forms of touch and spanking – the gentle, the intense, the slow, the fast, the Zen, the tantric, etc. Most of it was great, some of it – not so much. And on the basis of all of that empirical research, let me share with you my findings…

 

What goes without saying is that you need to obtain consent from your partner first. If they’re not into spanking, don’t do it. But if they’re willing to try, here are my top tips for a great spanking session:

 

1/ Location

Of course, you can spank or slap your partner on different body parts, but when it comes to their butt, there are some rules. Generally, the bottom half of the butt – the fleshy part – is most pleasurable to spank. The top part or the area near the hip can be quite unpleasant or even painful so make sure to check in with your partner about their preference first.

 

2/ Communication

Until you learn your partner’s preferences and tolerance for spanking, it’s a great idea to ask them to use a scale of intensity of 1 to 10. Also ask them, what level of intensity they’ll be willing to go up to. 1 is a very mild spank they can barely feel while 10 is an intense pain. If they choose to go up to 7, ask them to rate the spanking as you go so that you can learn where their limits are.

They don’t have to rate every single slap but mainly the ones where you increase intensity.

 

3/ No bang

In case of spanking, do not start off with a bang. You’ll need to build up to it. This is quite important and, on many occasions, poor spankers have totally turned me off with this mistake.

When you start off with a powerful slap, the area is not usually prepared yet and the experience will be most likely painful. So instead of an orgasmic moan, you’ll get from your lover an irritated “ouch”!

Start with little, gentle slaps and after each few, make sure to massage the area with your open palm. While massaging, allow your hand to also glide up to their back or down the legs in order to spread out yummy sensations.

When I have spank-gasms, the pleasure shoots from my butt up and down through my entire body so it’s essential to activate your lover’s entire system and to open up those energy channels for the yummy erotic energy to travel freely.

 

4/ Vary speed and intensity

Constantly going at the same speed and intensity will quickly make things boring. So, change it up! Build up from gentle slaps to stronger ones. Once your partner is good and ready, surprise them with a well-timed sharp spank. Play with a succession of quick ones and then make them wait for your hand.

Slow down and apply your spanking like an artist, playing your partner’s butt like a gorgeous instrument.

 

5/ Have fun!

Make sure to enjoy yourself! If you’re not going to have fun, it’s not likely that your partner will. This should be a playful experience for both of you.

 

Make sure to also discuss the experience afterwards. Ask your partner what they enjoyed and what they didn’t. Enquire whether they’d be willing to play with spanking again and if so, how can you make the experience even better.

 

Remember that everybody is different and that the only way to learn their preferences is through honest and open communication. There’s a lot of fun to be had in the bedroom. But it’s essential to know your partner’s body well enough so that you can give them most pleasure and reduce any potential discomfort.

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