Your Orgasms Can Activate Your Desires

Your Orgasms Can Activate Your Desires

I feel a little weird every time someone asks me about my age. Not because I’m worried about it or because it makes me uncomfortable. It doesn’t.

 

However, each time I answer this question, the reaction is one of shock and surprise. And it happens so often and without fail that I don’t even look out for that “No way, really??” look on their face. I just state my age and move on with the conversation.

 

But it does get me thinking…

 

How come so many other people my age look so much older than me? Why do I seem to effortlessly keep my youthful appearance, even though the date on my ID tells a very different story?

 

And yes, I do make an effort to eat healthy and exercise. But I’m far from ideal and often lack discipline in these areas. And, to be absolutely honest with you, I actually believe it’s something else…

 

As a Tantra practitioner, I regularly move sexual energy through my body.

 

I have now taught thousands of individuals about the amazing healing, energizing and rejuvenating qualities of our orgasmic charge. Your erotic charge can literally create a new life – a baby – when expelled out of a man’s body and connected with a woman’s sexual centre. And when that charge is consciously moved and expanded inside of our own bodies – it creates more life for ourselves.

 

And since, most of the time we experience arousal, we’re not actually planning to become parents, it just makes sense to me to use that potent energy to invigorate our own bodies.

 

But did you know that your orgasmic energy is much more powerful than that? On top of increasing your wellbeing, it can literally blow life into any desire, wish or goal that you have in your life. Your orgasms can charge your dreams and make them come true!

 

Isn’t that magical?…

 

Over the years, I’ve used my orgasms to manifest things like trips, money, lovers, a car, a community, more joy and better health among other things.

 

There is no limit to the creative power of our sexual energy and all it takes is willingness to try. Sex Magic is real magic. It involves entering a state of altered consciousness created by surrendering to states of high arousal. Once there, the mind can bliss out, while the body is flooded with amazing erotic pleasure. When the vision of your desired goal is then included in this experience, a powerful alchemical transformation can happen, allowing the goal to be activated, charged and released into the Universe on the wave of orgasm.

 

This is the most potent form of manifestation known to man

 

…because it combines our desire with nature’s ultimate creative force – sexual energy. And I teach all about that process in my online course Manifesting with Sex Magic.

 

The course is currently on special and is available at a 50% discount with coupon code MAGIC (only until tomorrow!).

 

So if you’re ready to infuse your body, mind and life with more amazing things that you desire and if you’d like to learn how to use a powerful Sex Magic ritual to achieve that, check out my online course. And make sure to let me know what you manifest with your newfound orgasmic power!

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How to Cherish Your Arousal Daily

How to Cherish Your Arousal Daily

There are many reasons why I love driving my car – it’s the ultimate “me-time”! I don’t need to do anything (other than drive), I feel relaxed, the car is comfortable, I get to listen to my favourite music or audiobooks… And!… I get to play with my arousal.

 

Typically, I’ll start with a few clenches of my pelvic floor, usually coordinated with the breath. This activates my muscles nicely, and increases the sensitivity of the area. Next, I’ll deepen my breath, while fully relaxing my genital muscles. With every inhale, I’ll keep sending more air, more attention and more relaxation into my genitals.

 

This kind of exercise creates sexual arousal.

 

And it feels amazing! As I keep noticing the warm, tingling, buzzing energy growing in my pussy, I allow myself to fully enjoy the pleasure. It doesn’t feel frustrating or like I need to do anything with it. I simply remain relaxed, breathing deeply and sending the energy up and out through my entire system.

 

After a while, my whole body feels nurtured, nourished, buzzing, alive…

 

And it’s the most delightful experience! Sometimes I’ll perform some tantric breathing techniques to consciously direct that arousal up my spine but at this stage the flow of energy feels quite natural and unrestricted all by itself. It’s like my arousal KNOWS where to go.

 

This kind of play is not just something I do in the car. I’ll do it while working on my computer, reading a book, talking to someone, meditating… Anywhere and anytime is fine. Every day and ideally – multiple times each day. It’s like an energetic boost to my system and to my mood!

 

In my sessions with male clients, I often find that they experience arousal as a frustration, a nuisance, a distraction, sometimes it can be even painful. And I find that erotic energy can feel this way when it remains in the genitals. You’ve probably heard of the “blue balls” phenomenon caused by unsatisfied sexual desire.

 

But it doesn’t have to be this way!

 

Men don’t have to suffer when their arousal cannot be released through ejaculation with the person they desire. They can actually look at a sexy woman, they can enjoy her form, feel excited by her… and channel that arousal into a full-body fulfilment!

 

They can walk away from her feeling nurtured by her beauty, not frustrated by it!

 

It’s not hard to move your arousal away from your genitals and to send it out into every cell of your being. It’s not hard to use it to create a state of deep internal aliveness and activation! Your body came equipped with everything you need to move and control your erotic charge – your breath, muscle control and placement of awareness are all you need to perform this task.

 

And if you want to learn more about tantric techniques of full-body bliss, check out my online course for men (Tantric Mastery) and for women (Orgasmic Empowerment).

10 Things Most People Still Don’t Know About Anal Sex

10 Things Most People Still Don’t Know About Anal Sex

Most people in our society still have a lot of hangups around their anuses. We consider them dirty, shameful and anal touch – wrong and embarrassing. The truth is that the poor, disgraced anus is extremely nerve rich, making it a very sensitive spot, able to receive and enjoy a lot of pleasure.

 

Both men and women are capable of experiencing intense pleasure in their anal areas. However, in order to have a truly enjoyable experience, you need to be aware of the rules of anal touch and anal sex.

 

Dr. Jack Morin was an American pioneer in the field of anal pleasure, and over many years he had done a lot of marvellous work helping men and women reclaim erotic pleasure in their anuses and to heal the phenomenon of “genital hole” – a high degree of dissociation and numbness many people experience there. I learned a lot from him about anal touch and if you are interested in delving into this subject much deeper, you should definitely research his work.

 

Here is what you need to know in order to be successful in your anal play:

 

1/  No pain

Anal touch should never, ever hurt. If it does – you are doing it wrong. Anal sphincters are muscle rings located at the entrance of the anus which are meant to keep things moving out. If something is introduced from the outside (a finger, penis or a toy), these muscles will tense up in order to stop the intrusion. Instead of forcing items in, you need to massage the anus externally first, in order to relax the sphincters before the insertion.

 

2/  Lubrication

There is no natural lubrication in the anus so you always need to use a lubricant during anal play. I recommend coconut oil.

 

3/  Rectum

Past the anal sphincters, you will encounter the rectum. Faeces are not normally stored in there until just before the bowel movement. You can, however, encounter traces of faeces in there. If that is a problem for either of you, I recommend having an enema or using nitrile gloves for protection.

 

4/  What to use

For most couples, anal sex does not include using the penis. Instead, they prefer using fingers or toys. Oral stimulation of the anus is called rimming and can be a source of a lot of pleasure. Using vibrating toys externally or internally can add an exciting level of pleasure.

 

5/  Sexual health

There are health risks associated with anal contact and if you are worried about STI’s, make sure to use a barrier – a condom for insertion or a dental dam for rimming.

 

6/  Communication

Keep communicating during the experience. The person being penetrated always has the final say when it comes to the anal stimulation. Nothing should be inserted into the anus until the recipient of the touch is ready and keen. As soon as they say ‘stop’, this should be fully respected. The anus is a highly sensitive area and as such, it can be both a source of a lot of pleasure and a lot of pain. As soon as the pleasure turns into pain, all touch should stop.

 

7/  Prostate

Many men enjoy prostate stimulation. The prostate is located on the belly side of the rectum, about two knuckles in.

 

8/  Anal orgasms

It is possible to experience anal orgasms, even without any direct genital stimulation. In my experience, this is not very common but it does happen sometimes; particularly when the person being anally stimulated is not determined to have an orgasm, but rather is completely immersed in the moment and in the pleasure they are experiencing, without any goals or expectations.

 

9/  Toy safety

If you are using toys, make sure to pick the ones with a flared base as it is possible to lose items inside the anus.

 

10/  Anal tension

Due to a sedentary lifestyle, trauma or shame, many people hold chronic tension inside the anus which can make insertion difficult and uncomfortable. In such cases, I recommend gently inserting the tip of your own finger into the anus while in the shower or a bath and trying to consciously relax the anal sphincters. When done on a regular basis, this practice will allow you to enjoy anal stimulation much more.

 

If you are still feeling a bit uncertain about anal stimulation, I would definitely recommend using nitrile gloves. This can provide a level of comfort to both parties from the hygiene perspective, and also for the protection of the receiver as nails or hard skin can feel unpleasant against the soft tissue of the anal canal.

 

As long as you are keeping in mind the rules of anal sex, you are very likely to give your beloved a very beautiful, safe and even ecstatic experience of anal pleasure.

 

Above all, take your time, stay curious, keep checking in with them and use plenty of lubrication. You might even discover that your partner becomes open to the idea of anal intercourse if this is something they had been opposed to before!

– from “Legendary Lover: 6 Essential Steps to Having Great Sex” by Helena Nista

 

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How to Find & Pleasure Her G-spot

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When I first heard of the G-spot and the G-spot orgasms, I was still a teenager and the whole concept was covered with a layer of mystery. I knew it was somewhere inside my vaginal canal and I even tried to look for it with my fingers but failed to locate it. My G-spot remained elusive (if it was even a real thing!) for many more years…

 

According to many people, the G-spot holds the key to woman’s vaginal orgasms.

 

Vaginal (internal) orgasms provide us ladies with a very different experience than the more common clitoral climax. The internal O feels more profound, more expansive, more grounding… It seems to flow like waves through our entire bodies, immersing us in a bliss-like state… which is in quite a contrast with the more external, explosive and sharp clitoral peaks.

 

The sad truth is that many, many women don’t know where their own G-spot is. Or how powerful its potential for pleasure is! Many other women are familiar with their G-spots but the area can be very de-sensitized due to years of rough sex. This means that a lot of ladies will struggle to stimulate that spot in a pleasurable way or they might even feel like there’s not a lot of sensation there. So if even women are confused about their G-spots, what chance of success do men have?

 

Where is the G-spot?

 

It’s not really a spot but more an area and it’s located on the upper wall of the vagina, close behind the vaginal entrance.

 

How to find it?

 

Insert a finger into the vaginal canal about two knuckles in. Press the pads of your fingers up towards her belly and start exploring. You’ll notice that the skin texture there is quite different than the rest of her vaginal canal. The vaginal walls are pretty smooth but the G-spot feels more like the roof of your mouth. The ridges will typically become even more pronounced when the woman is aroused.

 

How to stimulate the G-spot?

 

This is where all the fun begins… All women are different and like different things but here are a few techniques to start you off on this exploration adventure:

 

1/ Circles

Massage the G-spot with your fingers in a circular motion. Vary speed and pressure. Keep asking for her feedback to figure out what kind of touch works best for her.

 

2/ Come-hither motion

Insert a finger, press it into the G-spot and slowly pull it out, allowing it to glide over the whole area. It should feel like as if you were dragging a coin off of the table.

Vary speed and pressure. Try two or even three fingers. Keep asking for feedback.

 

3/ Pressing in

Place your finger on the G-spot and push into it. Keep communicating with her to find the best level of pressure. After a few moment, move your finger to a different location (within the same area) and repeat. Keep repeating until you find all the most yummy spots.

Remember that even a tiny difference in the placement of your finger can make a huge difference to her pleasure!

 

4/ Toys

There is a whole range of dildos and specifically shaped G-spot massagers out there. They can be a lot of fun to play with!

And if you’re on a budget, you can use a cucumber but make sure that it’s peeled and smooth. Also, ask your lady if she has a preference for a particular vegetable.

 

5/ Penetration

The good old missionary position isn’t typically great for stimulating the G-spot but there are other great options:

– modified missionary – the woman puts a few pillows under her butt and keeps her feet flat on the bed,

– woman on top – man is lying on his back, woman lowers herself onto his penis, BUT she needs to lean back, this way she can position herself pretty well for some G-spot action,

– reverse cowgirl – this is still woman on top but here she’s facing her lover’s feet instead of his head,

– from behind – not quite the doggy style because the woman lies down on her belly with her legs together while her lover enters her from behind.

 

Make sure to experiment with all these positions, looking for the best angle, pressure and speed. And make sure to be playful about the whole experience! Nothing kills the erotic fun more quickly than treating it like a chore.

 

This is an invitation to start exploring the mysterious G-spot and learning more about it.

 

The more familiar we are with our (and our partner’s) genital anatomy, the better we can navigate our way around it and the more pleasure we can give and receive.

 

So let’s start exploring!

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I recently got a very interesting question from one of my readers:

“Do you think I could learn on my own to be the lover I crave to make love to? Or is it ultimately only possible to experience sacred sex with another?

I want to do everything in my power to free myself from all that inhibits me sexually and to experience deep love and pleasure but I’m not in a position to do that with a lover.”

 

Social stigma

 

For different reasons, a variety of different people are not able to connect intimately with others at one time or another throughout their lives. This kind of circumstance should never be a reason to put your sexual practice on hold! In fact, your self-pleasuring practice is the most primary form of sexual expression.

Society seems to indicate to us that masturbation is only for people between relationships, older or incapacitated people, or maybe some desperate individuals. This unfortunately creates a level of stigma around self-touch and stops us from embracing it as a healthy and valid form of sexual practice.

 

Training your pleasure

 

I believe that this conditioning is actually really hurting our sex lives. I believe that creating a beautiful and profoundly ecstatic self-pleasuring practice can really support you in becoming a wonderful lover to another person.

I spend a big chunk of my sessions with clients doing masturbation coaching. I consider this skill absolutely crucial for embracing our pleasure and awakening our full orgasmic potential.

We watch movies and porn that show us people in moments of deep ecstasy and pleasure. So we aspire to similar experiences in our own bedrooms. But the body needs training in order to become fully orgasmic. You need to teach yourself pleasure first, before you can have your mind blown on a regular basis with a lover.

 

Self-pleasuring better

 

So here are my 5 steps to a more pleasurable and orgasmic masturbation practice:

 

1/ Set an intention

This is an important one. An intention creates your experience, it’s a bridge between now and the future. Don’t just go with whatever happens – consciously create your pleasure!

What would you like to achieve through your self-touch today? Would you like to explore new erogenous zones in your body? Would you like to last half an hour before coming? Would you like to cultivate a deep sense of loving bliss in your system? Or maybe bring more sensation to areas that feel a bit numb?…

 

2/ Awaken your entire body

Now it’s time to connect with your whole physical system. You can do this through movement (dancing, shaking, yoga, stretching, etc.) or through touch by giving yourself a loving full body massage. Feel free to spend as much time on this step as you need. At the end you should feel vibrant and alive from head to toe.

 

3/ Use your breath consciously

Keep taking deep, full breaths throughout the entire session.

When we get aroused, we tend to shorten and constrict our breathing. This locks sexual pleasure in one spot, usually our genitals. If you want to have a more expanded, powerful experience, breathe deeply in order to allow that erotic charge to travel up and down your entire body.

 

4/ Slow down

Another very important tip!

As you’re stroking your favourite erogenous zones, take your time. Do not rush to the finish line. Keep breathing deeply, allowing the delicious sensations to keep spreading through your entire system.

And remember – the longer you hold off before the big O, the more intense it will be!

 

5/ Integrate

After climax, don’t rush off anywhere, just stay where you are.

Allow yourself a few minutes to relax and notice the feelings and sensations in your entire body as all the pleasure hormones are happily travelling through your system. These few minutes at the end are crucial to teach your body about bliss. This is when your brain is working hard, creating all the new neural connections, learning from this experience so that next time you can go even deeper into your erotic ecstasy.

 

To learn more about sacred masturbation practices, check out my online course Masturbation Coaching (for men and women!). It’s currently available at 50% off as part of my Christmas Special. Simply use this code to claim your discount: xmas50

I filled this course with my favourite and most effective tools and techniques to train your body to experience:

  • more pleasure,
  • deeper orgasms,
  • richer sexual satisfaction in your body.

Don’t miss out! The discount code is only available until Sunday!

 

Masturbation Coaching is a fairly new modality offered by sex coaches and sex therapists all over the world. It’s extremely powerful because healthy and nurturing self-touch, self-touch that is free of shame and dogma, will prepare your body for a lifetime of great sex and amazing pleasure.

This 7-week online program will help you expand your erotic potential, experience completely new types of orgasm, create more charisma and magnetic power that others will respond to, let go of unhealthy patterns and toxic beliefs about your pleasure, your body and your sexuality, etc.

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On one hand, I really see the point the article is trying to make. It can be very unsafe and even traumatising to introduce acts perceived as violent into the bedroom without mutual consent and appropriate level of communication and agreements about it.

 

But it also seems that different media are trying to demonize this kind of acts. By portraying them as wrong and linked to male violence and porn-influence, we’re taking away the innocence of playfulness in the bedroom. This can also lead to an unhealthy idea that there is only one “right” way to experience sex and that other ways of sexual expression are somehow ‘invalid’.

 

I personally LOVE it when my lover is dominating, chokes me, spanks me and pulls my hair in bed. Obviously, I don’t want sex to play out this way every single time, but in appropriate measure (to be agreed upon by partners) and with full consent of both parties, these are extremely exciting and beautiful things to play with.

 

So maybe instead of criticising men and demonizing them for following their instincts and desires in the bedroom, we should focus more on educating them. Creating fear around kink and fetishes is unhealthy because a large portion of society enjoys them (yes, many more people than you would think!). Plus, they can be a part of a healthy erotic life, as long as all acts are 100% consensual.

 

Gentlemen, next time you’re in bed with your lady, instead of playing out any scenario that you find arousing, ASK HER first whether she’s willing to play with you this way. Make all agreements clear and well defined, even if that means a longer conversation than you would ideally prefer.

 

I promise that your sex life will benefit from it and that this kind of clear communication will not only create a safe container for both of you to play and experiment within, but also to dramatically deepen the level of pleasure, enjoyment, fun and connection that you can experience together!

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