About Full-Body Orgasms

About Full-Body Orgasms

Recently I gave an interview where one of the questions asked was “what is a full-body orgasm?”. As this is something I hear very often AND just in case you were also wondering, let me tell you a little story from my life…

 

One of my first full-body orgasms happened when I was driving my car.

 

I was exercising my PC muscle (aka doing kegels) while breathing my erotic energy up and down my spine. I felt good, happy and excited about life. I was listening to some of my favourite songs and I was looking around at the beautiful nature, feeling joyful and satisfied with life. Suddenly an amazing orgasmic tingling sensation started travelling through my body. As I kept breathing, waves of orgasmic energy started rolling through my system and I kept fuelling them with my breath. As soon as they would decrease in intensity, I would concentrate again on deep breaths in order to keep the wonderful feeling going. This entire orgasmic experience lasted about 20 minutes.

Since that experience, I’ve been giving myself orgasms regularly using just my breath. This ability had also shifted my relationship with clitoral orgasms as they now seemed way too quick, sharp and somehow unsatisfying in most cases. They just couldn’t compare to riding orgasmic waves for minutes or hours. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with clitoral stimulation because there isn’t and I do enjoy it tremendously! But in most cases I use it to give my sexual energy a boost and not as the only means of achieving an orgasm.

 

At that point of my life, I also started questioning the definition of orgasm as a purely genital experience.

 

After doing a bit of research, I found out that Tantra recognizes many, many different types of orgasms (as opposed to just genital orgasms) and that the description of this experience is much broader than what we’re used to in the Western world. According to Tantric teachings, an orgasm is a release or movement of energy in the body. It usually comes with a feeling of being high on life, on an emotion (happiness, gratitude, but also anger, sadness, etc.). A full-body orgasm can be experienced pretty much anytime and anywhere and can be triggered by a beautiful sunset, feeling of love, taste of chocolate, etc. This kind of sensation is much different than a peak, clitoral orgasm as it involves your entire body and lasts much, much longer.

And even more to the point – full-body orgasms can be experienced with a lover. They’re not limited to people with certain skills, body type or level of consciousness. Everybody, regardless of their gender, age or sexual experience, can ride orgasmic waves during sex and in fact, it’s one of the best opportunities to do so.

The reason why I started here with a story of a self-induced (and breath-induced) full-body orgasm is simply that once you can experience them on your own, you can easily have them with a partner.

 

Yes, it all starts with you!

 

A prerequisite of a tantric orgasm is being present and that means being fully in the moment, mindful of one’s body and sensations. These days we’re rarely truly present as we keep worrying about the future or the past. As a result, the present moment gets very little attention. Stressed about what happened during the day or making plans for the future, we rarely find the time to simply observe the current moment. We miss out on all the joy of mindfully appreciating that cappuccino or a conversation with a friend. The mind always racing, we barely ever experience a peaceful moment of acknowledgement or gratitude.

And it’s in those gentle moments of calm mind and open spirit that we find most beauty, joy and wonder. As you watch the world around you with glittering eyes and quiet appreciation, simply allow your energy to travel up and down your body with relaxed muscles and a full abdominal breath. As you clear more and more energetic blockages in your body, you’ll find yourself tingling more and more with deep, orgasmic sensations.

 

And this is exactly what happened to me in the car…

 

I was fully present in the moment, simply observing the world around me and listening to the music, happy and completely stress free. My body was relaxed and open, my mind was calm and present. Life felt amazing! And then the orgasm came.

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3 Amazing Benefits of Sleeping Naked

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3 Amazing Benefits of Sleeping Naked

3 Amazing Benefits of Sleeping Naked

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE sleeping naked! I love to feel the softness of the sheets against my skin, I love the ease of access to different body parts that I can stroke or caress, I love the heightened sensations I experience all over my body. And when my beloved is in bed with me, I LOVE being held by him and touching his skin.

 

But it hasn’t always been this way

When I was growing up, I learned that sleeping naked was inappropriate and that I always needed a layer of fabric between me and the world, even when I was in bed alone. I learned that different body parts were wrong or shameful and that they always needed to be covered. And I learned to feel guilt and embarrassment if too much of my skin was ever accidentally exposed in front of someone else.

 

Even in our sleep we’re not allowed to have a relationship with our body

All these negative messages about sex, nudity and pleasure sink deep into our consciousness. It seems that even in our sleep we’re not allowed to have a relationship with our body. This in turn can create a profound disconnection from our senses, our pleasure and our eroticism.

So if you’re struggling with shame in sex or if you feel like you’re not feeling a lot of pleasure, this might be because you’ve disowned your sexuality or that you don’t feel comfortable with your naked body. When we’re not comfortable with nudity and particularly with our genitals, we simply cannot fully feel our bodies.

 

So here are 3 wonderful benefits that you’ll enjoy when sleeping naked:

 

1 Deeper sleep

Taking your clothes off when going to bed means that your body is able to naturally cool down. This is an important aspect of the circadian rhythm, which is a natural system that informs our bodies when it’s time to sleep. This means not only that you’ll be able to fall asleep quicker, but also that the quality of your sleep will be much better.

 

2 Better health

A deeper sleep has a vast range of health benefits – better skin, faster healing times, lower stress levels, healthier heart… It even boosts your calorie-burning ability which means remaining slimmer!

Sleeping naked is also beneficial for our intimate parts. Yeast infections like warm, moist places so going commando allows your private parts to get plenty of air. It also promotes a healthy sperm count in men since the testicles can remain cool enough for optimal sperm health.

 

3 Better relationship with your sexuality

Time spent naked helps us develop a more connected relationship with our skin, our sensuality and our eroticism. Clothes simply create a barrier that separates you from your body and de-sensitizes your experience of touch and pleasure.

 

 

What you don’t like, you disconnect from

So if sleeping naked is new for you, this might be a wonderful time to give it a go. And when you do, stay present with your experience – are you noticing feelings of shame, discomfort or awkwardness? or are you feeling delight, pleasure and relaxation? And what is your body experiencing? How is your skin reacting to this new experience?

 

If this feels tricky, take it slow and don’t judge yourself

Awakening your senses fully can take a bit of time but it’s ALWAYS worth it.

 

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The notion of neuroplasticity means that your repeated behaviours affect and change your body and brain. And this applies in every area of life, including sex. When you fall into a routine and always touch yourself in the same way, you’re wiring your body to respond to a particular kind of touch and stimulation. And this is significant because without meaning to, we’re able to seriously limit our ability to respond to sensual or sexual touch.

So I want you to ask yourself this question: Do you still touch yourself the same way you did 10 years ago?

If you do, you’re not alone! But it is time to shake things up so in today’s video, I’m going to show you 5 unusual ways to masturbate.

 

PS. If masturbation coaching sounds appealing to you, check out my Masturbation Coaching online course. It has now supported thousands of people in improving their sexual satisfaction by helping them change their self-pleasuring habits!

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When I work with couples, there is one matter that keeps arising in a majority of cases – the woman complains about the way her partner touches her. I keep hearing ‘he is too harsh’, ‘he hurts me’, ‘I don’t like having sex with him’, ‘I don’t like the way he touches my breasts’, ‘he keeps digging into my skin’, ‘I wish he was gentler’…

From there I proceed to identifying how the partner touches her and how she would like to be touched instead. For many men, it is quite a shock to learn this and many are not even aware up to that point that their partners were not satisfied. And this is the case not just for young couples, but for people who had spent 10, 20 or 30 years together!

 

Wisdom of Tantra

I like to point out to my clients a beautiful tantric analogy of water and fire. Masculine energy is like fire – hot, strong and quick to go up and to come down. As for the women, our energy is like water – slow to boil but capable of remaining very warm for a long time. Once they are aware of this difference, men need to attend to their partners first in order to start rising her temperature earlier so that they both can reach a boiling point together.

On average, women need at least four times as much time as men do to orgasm. If he ejaculates too quickly, he will leave her barely lukewarm and most likely frustrated. In the long term, men grow resentful as well, as they want to be able to satisfy their partners.

 

Helpful practices

There are many beautiful tantric rituals, practices and games that lovers can practice (or play with) together. One of the most basic ones I like to recommend is watching each other self-pleasure. Are you not sure how to touch your partner? Ask them to show you! In my experience it is a very valuable practice, even though it might feel a little awkward at first.

I also teach my couples many skills and practices of tantric massage in order to give them some wonderful new ideas to touch each other better – for the maximum pleasure. I have beautiful cushions representing female and male genitalia which I use to teach genital massage. A tantric massage is an amazing gift to your partner and not too difficult to learn. As I show different strokes, I emphasize very strongly the need for a lubricant and I instruct the men exactly how to touch all the most sensitive parts of female genital anatomy.

Read more here: “How to give a woman a yoni massage”

Men usually have way less complaints about the way their lovers pleasure them but I still like to expand their play time by teaching the women different ways to touch the penis.

Read more here: “How to give a man a lingam massage”

 

What pressure to use

Another significant element of this education is pressure and as I present different genital strokes, I also touch my client’s arm to make sure he understands just how lightly I am applying the stroke. When it comes to female genitalia, it is ALWAYS better to start too light than too firm as you can increase the pressure as you go (and as her arousal keeps growing).

A woman will contract and withdraw if you are too harsh with her. Again, if you are not certain – ask! ‘Darling, would you like this a little firmer or softer?’. Allow your partner to guide you and be very present with her body’s responses. Do not lose yourself in your own excitement too quickly, stay with her, observe her breath, her skin flushing, body movement, read her level of arousal and if she is going up, you are doing the right thing!

 

Become a sex god

Please remember, you will never satisfy her if you do not pay attention to her, if you abandon her in order to follow your own pleasure only. So seduce, arouse, excite and pleasure your goddess first and in return, she will make you feel like a sex god!

I feel very passionate about sharing these and many more tools with my clients. There is a lot of sexual frustration in our modern world and we can change that by studying Tantra and sacred sexuality, by making the romantic relationship one of the priorities in our lives.

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What is an Orgasmic State

What is an Orgasmic State

I used to experience sex as a hike up a mountain with a very distinct peak that I always wanted to reach but not often did.

Sex consisted of working towards an orgasm, of “efforting” to get there, with a well specified goal in mind.

I would keep moving faster, squeezing my legs tighter and tighter in an attempt to come.

Sex in itself wasn’t terribly pleasurable and for the most part – it was just a way of achieving an orgasm – usually for my male partner and rarely for myself.

Many people in our society see orgasm as a climax, a peak, a short and sharp release of sexual tension accompanied by a few seconds of intense pleasure.

After that begins a very quick and steep decline of pleasure and arousal.

 

Orgasmic Mindset

Now I know that orgasm can be much more than that and it all begins with a change of mindset.

If all you see as an orgasm is that short, sharp peak of pleasure, that’s all you’ll ever experience as orgasm.

But if you start to expand your experience of pleasure through expanding your understanding of what orgasm can be – you’re opening yourself up to deeply ecstatic states that can last for hours.

Our society is not very encouraging towards sexual and orgasmic exploration.

Many people learn about intimacy from porn and copy the actors on the screen in order to create something ecstatic in the bedroom.

Most people learn to experience those release-type orgasms that are satisfying in the short term but leave us empty and depleted in the long term.

Many clients that come to see me have an inner knowing that much more is possible, yet they have no idea how to get there.

 

Start with Mini-Orgasms

As a first step towards having expanded, longer lasting orgasms, I would like you to embrace an idea that every wave of pleasure in your body is a mini-orgasm.

And that instead of chasing an orgasm, you can simply BE with your arousal and pleasure moment by moment, without needing for anything else to happen.

Most people are so focused on the end goal in sex, that they tend to miss out on tons of pleasurable sensations in their bodies.

As soon as you’re thinking about reaching an orgasm during sex, you’re not present with the pleasure you’re experiencing – you’re actually getting ahead of yourself.

 

Cultivating States of Erotic Trance

So let go of the chase and embrace every moment, every stroke and every sensation in your body as the goals in themselves.

Instead of clenching your muscles, allow them to soften.

Instead of holding your breath, keep taking deep, slow abdominal breaths.

Instead of concentrating on orgasm, enjoy each moment with all the pleasure that it’s offering you.

Start to notice and delight in all the waves of energy, tingles and pleasurable bliss flowing through your system.

Allow yourself to simply be in pleasure, fully present and grounded in your body.

Keep letting go of any thoughts, ideas or requirements during sex.

This new attitude towards sexual pleasure will help you experience orgasmic ecstasy as continuous, flowing waves.

These waves can induce a state of a deep, erotic trance and can last for hours.

Yes, your body can really do that!

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As much as you guys love blow jobs, we ladies can absolutely bliss out during state of art cunnilingus.

There is something truly magical about the combination of highly sensitive genitals and a gentle and wet touch of the tongue and mouth – it’s like they belong together!

And as is the case with anything in life – the better prepared and knowledgeable you are, the better you’ll be at performing it.

 

So here’s my 10 tips to give her state of art cunnilingus:

 

1/ Start by kissing and licking the rest of her body

Your tongue and mouth will feel amazing not only on her vulva but also on her chest, neck, ears, face, arms, hands, toes and thighs. Particularly inner arms and thighs and very sensitive and love gentle touch. Don’t forget that her genitals are not the only erogenous zone and make sure to explore the rest of her body first. This will awaken her pleasure and sensitivity, making it more likely for her to experience full-body orgasms.

Particularly her breasts will respond well to your oral loving.

 

2/ Slow down

If you’re in a rush to get to the “main bit”, you will subconsciously communicate a certain urgency to her body. You will make her feel like there’s a job to be done here, and hopefully quickly.

This will significantly reduce her ability to relax and surrender – and these two qualities are absolutely necessary for her to reach an orgasmic state.

In order for a woman to orgasm, the centre of her brain responsible for being in control needs to shut down. And this will not happen if she feels that you’re in a rush or that she’s taking too much time.

Remember: on average women need 4 times longer as men do to orgasm. Give her the time she needs and slooooooow dooooooown!

 

3/ Tease her

We all love to be teased! In sex it’s so true that it’s much more about the journey that it is about the destination. So don’t try to get her to any sort of outcome quickly. Play with her body, entice her desire, make her wait until she starts begging for more!

My partner loves teasing me by denying me his touch for those extra moments. When his face gets close to my vulva, without actually touching it, I can feel his breath on my skin and it’s driving me crazy with desire. My body starts writhing trying to satisfy the burning anticipation but he remains just out of reach until he’s ready to move closer.

 

4/ Use your breath

You can stimulate her with your breath, without actually touching her. You can breathe or blow on her vulva before you touch her or as a break from physical touch.

Use cool air by blowing as if you were blowing out a candle. Or open your mouth and make a ‘ha’ sound in order to blow warm air. Alternate between the two for a more stimulating effect.

 

5/ Open her up

Open her up – and I mean this physically. Pull her outer lips apart as you’re stimulating her with your breath or tongue.

This is extremely stimulating to a woman.

In the same way that your genitals yearn to penetrate, when she’s aroused her body craves to be open and penetrated.

 

6/ Watch the responses of her body

Remain attentive and watch out for any signs of discomfort or tension in her body.

Men usually tend to be too forceful and harsh with the vulva, they assume that she will enjoy the same level of pressure as their penis.

But this is not the case. Back away as soon as her body tenses up or pulls away from you.

When I saw a man masturbate for the first time in my life, I was shocked by the firm pressure he was using, I was certain that he was hurting himself!

 

7/ Treat her vulva as the most precious thing in the world

When touching, kissing and licking her genitals, imagine that they’re the most precious thing in the world. Be gentle, soft, loving, patient and kind.

As the woman gets more and more aroused, she’ll be asking for a bit firmer pressure, but always start with a very soft touch.

Always err on the side of caution – her intimate bits are extremely sensitive!

 

8/ Explore her entire vulva

Don’t start with the clitoris. Prepare the area first – lick, kiss and suck her outer lips, then her inner lips. Allow your tongue to luxuriously glide from her vaginal opening all the way up to her clitoris and then back down.

Make gentle circles around her clitoris and particularly make sure to stimulate her clitoral shaft (the internal part of the clitoris, above the external part) – this is very arousing for a woman.

Lick her introitus (vaginal opening) and then go back to stimulating the rest of her vulva plus the area surrounding it. Keep kissing her inner thighs, pubic bone and belly.

Only when she’s fairly aroused, start giving her clitoris even more attention.

Drawing the letters of the alphabet on her clit works particularly well!

 

9/ Use language

When you’re not certain whether she’s enjoying your touch – ask for feedback. When you’re wondering whether she’d like a different pressure – ask for feedback. Anytime you’re not certain about how to give her the most pleasure – ask for feedback!

Over time this will build up your familiarity with her body and will allow you to play her body like an instrument – building up her desire or backing away just at the right time in order to keep teasing her a little longer.

Another way to use language in bed is to talk dirty. And yes, I’m aware that you might be having a mouthful there but whenever you’re not, tell her how gorgeous and hot her pussy is and how much you’re loving her sweet taste.

 

10/ Enjoy yourself

And lastly, have a great time! The more you’re enjoying yourself, the more likely she’ll be to have an amazing time. Keep loving her pussy with your tongue, delight in caressing and kissing her, keep digging deeper and deeper into her pleasure.

If you’re not loving what you’re doing, it’s not likely that she will!

And if you want to learn more, check out my Legendary Lover online course!

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