How to Have Multiple Orgasms: The Ultimate Guide

How to Have Multiple Orgasms: The Ultimate Guide

So you’ve heard of multiple orgasms and now you’d like to start having them too. Maybe you’re feeling intrigued and curious – maybe even a little intimidated.


After all, multiple orgasms are usually made to sound like magical, unicorn-like experiences denied most everyday humans: as if they’re some mystical realm reserved only for tantric lovers, yogic practitioners, and people who are really into the Kamasutra.


But the truth is everybody can learn how to have multiple orgasms. If you have a body and you can experience arousal, then you’re capable of multiple orgasms too. Yes, even if you’re a man. Even if you’ve never even had a single orgasm before.


Because becoming multi-orgasmic is part of your sexual birthright. Learning how to have multiple orgasms is simply about recognising where you’re blocking your multi-orgasmic self, and where you’re resisting your natural capacity for many, many orgasms. So let’s start at the beginning…


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What are Multiple Orgasms?


Multiple orgasms happen when a person reaches an orgasm more than once during a sexual experience. You can be multi-orgasmic all by yourself or with a partner. Both men and women can be multi-orgasmic, but multiple orgasms in men can be a little trickier because of the refractory period (more about that later). 


Multiple orgasms can happen in close proximity – just seconds apart. Or arousal can decline before it builds up again, taking you into another climax… and another one… and another one… and so on.


Despite the amazing pleasure and bliss promised by multiple orgasms, according to studies, less than 10% of women are having multiple orgasms. And there’s barely any data about men having multiple orgasms. (‘Cause we live in a culture that doesn’t really talk about these kinds of things).


But that doesn’t mean it’s not possible for you. Anyone can learn how to have multiple orgasms – you just need to follow the right approach.


What do Multiple Orgasms Feel Like?


How a multiple orgasms feels depends on the type of orgasm you have, and how close together they are. Some women describe multiple orgasms as one intense orgasm with softer waves of orgasmic pleasure straight after. Others describe having many orgasms in one sexual encounter that build in intensity. For men, multiple orgasms usually happen without ejaculation, because after ejaculation men enter the refractory period.


Once you start having multiple orgasms, you may also find yourself experiencing pleasure in new and unexpected ways. Whereas sexual arousal and pleasure are usually associated with genital touch, as your overall arousal builds you may find yourself able to reach orgasm from nipple touch, anal play or other under-explored areas of your body.


In this way, multiple orgasms can help to expand your overall orgasmic potential, and open you up to whole new ways of experiencing pleasure.



How Many Orgasms Can You Have?


The truth is there is no limit. Some multi-orgasmic women report having an average of 5 orgasms per session, but other women have reported going much higher than that. For men, it really depends on their ejaculation control and their ability to delay the refractory period.


Over the years, different studies have attempted to quantify orgasms and learn more about human orgasmic potential. But there’s still SO much science doesn’t know about human sexuality.


But there are a few factors that will affect how many orgasms you can have:

  • how much time you have for sex / masturbation
  • how connected you are to your own body and your sensitivity
  • how familiar you are with your erogenous zones and how well you can stimulate them / ask your partner to do that for you
  • the level of past sexual trauma still present in your body
  • any inhibitions, limiting beliefs, shame, guilt, and other blocks present in your system
  • your anatomy and libido.



Can Men Have Multiple Orgasms?


Absolutely yes! Men have an incredible potential for pleasure – it’s just not something that’s widely spoken about. Men have the same capacity to be multi-orgasmic as women – but they have to learn how to control ejaculation in order to overcome the refractory period.


The refractory what?

The Refractory period is the time your body needs to recover after each orgasm before you can become sexually aroused and reach climax again.


For men, this means that after ejaculating, they have a period of time where they can’t get an erection.


Many women also experience a refractory period after a climax that involves lots of clitoral stimulation: the clit becomes very sensitive, and there’s a period of time where you want a break from clitoral stimulation.


But women typically experience a much shorter refractory period than men.



Multiple Orgasms in Women


Women are naturally multi-orgasmic – something that we sadly we don’t talk about enough. Women are actually able to experience a whole array of delicious orgasms too, well beyond the conventional clitoral orgasms.


Women can have vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasms, cervical orgasms, anal orgasms, breast orgasms – and much, much more. (Yes, the female body is AMAZING!)


And because women are capable of so many different types of orgasms, they’re usually able to become multi-orgasmic much more easily than men.


In fact, once women learn how to have orgasms beyond the conventional clitoral orgasm, they don’t experience a refractory period at all! Which means it’s often easier for women to have multiple orgasms in a shorter period of time than men.


Want to learn all about the different types of female orgasms – and how to have them? My Orgasmic Empowerment course will help you unlock your multi-orgasmic potential and open yourself to a whole new level of pleasure. Check it out here.



Multiple Orgasms in Men


Here’s the really exciting part though: men can orgasm without ejaculation! Yes – men can have more than one type of orgasm as well.


This is something that most modern men have never heard of. But tantric men have been practicing this skill for thousands of years.


Orgasm and ejaculation are in fact two separate phenomena – but they typically happen together for an untrained man.


Ejaculation is the pleasurable squirting of the semen, while orgasm is a release of arousal: of that delicious sexual energy that builds up to the point of climax. Orgasm feels like an intense surge of pleasure in your body and it usually precedes ejaculation – but the ejaculation doesn’t HAVE to happen.


And if ejaculation doesn’t happen, there’s no refractory period. Yay!


There are various techniques that allow men to separate ejaculation and orgasm. And for most men this process takes at least a few weeks of training. However, the men in my Tantric Mastery online course have been reporting full-body non-ejaculatory orgasms within the first week of training! Click here to discover exactly how to control ejaculation, say goodbye to the refractory period and learn how to have male multiple orgasms for men.



How to Achieve Multiple Orgasms?


It all starts with a really good awareness of your own body. When it comes to our sexuality, arousal and pleasure, we’re all different and unique. But here are the most important points to keep in mind:



1/ Know that you can


If you believe that you can orgasm more than once, then you’ll be more likely to actually do it. Check your mindset and make sure you’re not running any unhelpful ideas such as “I’m just not able to orgasm like that.” Or “having multiple orgasms is just for people who XYZ.”


Know that having multiple orgasms is possible for YOU too – and go into your sexual encounters with an attitude of when – not if. 


That doesn’t mean you put pressure or expectation on yourself though. (This is a journey, and it can take some time.) But trusting in yourself and your body’s capacity for pleasure is key to maintaining your curiosity while you continue with your orgasmic exploration.



2/ Take your time


Allow yourself plenty of time to build up your arousal energy during your sexual play and/or self pleasuring session. The more energy you build up, the more energy you’ll have for your next orgasm (and the next, and the next!)


That might mean slowing down – which also allows you to savour the experience more. It might mean taking more time for foreplay, and taking your time before you build up to the intensely pleasurable activities. 


Remember – it’s a journey, not a race! 



3/ Talk your way through


Partners who communicate regularly and openly about their desire, needs and wants in the bedroom report having more satisfying and more frequent orgasms. Communication is key!


Being able to communicate also helps you to follow point number 1 (taking your time). If you feel like you’re building up intensity too quickly, don’t be scared to ask your partner to slow down or ask for something different. 


The more you own and ask for what you want, the more you expand your orgasmic potential.


If you’re in a relationship and want to take your sex life to the next level together, Tantric Sex For Couples is the complete guide to help deepen the love, connection and pleasure in the bedroom. Click here to learn more.



4/ Relaaaaaaaaax


If you’re stressed, tense or tired, your body might not be up for multiple orgasms (or even 1 orgasm for that matter!). So make sure that you’re feeling calm and relaxed before you begin your multi-orgasmic session. 


A thriving, pleasurable and exciting sex life actually begins with taking care of yourself, knowing how to de-stress and how to feel relaxed, present and open to pleasure. 



5/ Map your erogenous zones


Being familiar with your erogenous zones is essential when it comes to giving yourself what you want – AND when asking for what you want from your partner. Knowing how, where and when to touch yourself are the skills you need to achieve multiple orgasms over and over again.


And how do you map your erogenous zones? By becoming an explorer!


Explore different parts of your body, and experiment with different kinds of touch too. This kind of curiosity can lead you to discovering new, orgasmic ways to touch your body.


And don’t forget that things change and feel different as your arousal builds too. One area might not feel much when you first start out, but once you’re feeling hot and turned on, suddenly it’s a pleasure wonderland!


(Want an easy guide to discover all your erogenous zones? Check my Tantric Master course for men or Orgasmic Empowerment for women).



6/ Bring in the toys!


Many of my clients find that sex toys greatly enhance their ability to orgasm and the ease with which they get there – so don’t be afraid to give it a go!


Toys that incorporate ALL your senses can help you expand your pleasure and build up even more sexual energy (which you’ll need to help you reach orgasm after orgasm). So things like scented massage oil, feathers, luxurious silks or bondage toys can be great for building the sensual experience needed for multiple orgasms.


For men, toys that help you incorporate prostate play, or that stimulate your genitals beyond just the head of your cock can help to expand your pleasure and also help you control ejaculation (cock rings are a good example).


And for women, toys that help you stimulate a variety of erogenous zones – from your clitoris to your cervix and everywhere in between – will also help you build your sexual energy to new orgasmic heights. 



7/ Use your breath and body


Deep breath and mindfulness can create wonders when it comes to arousal and pleasure, so keep checking in with your body. If you’re distracted and your breathing is constricted, your body will struggle to climb the arousal ladder. 


Slowing down your breath and moving sexual energy through your entire body is key for having multiple orgasms for both men and women. In fact, the breath is one of the most important tools of orgasmic, tantric experiences.


The more connected you are to your breath, the more able you are to move orgasmic energy around and through your body, and the easier it is to reach orgasmic, bliss filled states.


The Benefits of Being Multi-Orgasmic


Each orgasm brings the body a wealth of benefits. So it goes without saying that many O’s will just multiply the rewards. Here are most commonly quoted benefits of multiple orgasms:


  • deeper intimacy in the relationship
  • greater pleasure and satisfaction of both partners
  • lower stress levels
  • better health and wellbeing due to the pleasure hormones being regularly released in the body
  • better immunity
  • better sleep



Stop! Before you start cultivating your multi-orgasmic ability!…


It’s not just about the quantity, it’s also about quality! Multiple orgasms can sound amazing and exciting but not everybody needs them. If you’re perfectly satisfied with your sex life, even if you only climax once per session – that’s perfectly fine!


AKA don’t fix it if it ain’t broken!


It’s wonderful to always aspire to better experiences. But don’t let that pursuit stop you from enjoying what you already have. Because one really epic orgasm can be exactly what you need to feel satisfied!

Helena Nista Sex Therapist
Hi! I'm Helena Nista

I help men, women, and couples experience deeper intimacy, more connected sex, and mind-blowing pleasure. Follow me on Social Media for more awesome Tantric tips, tricks, and techniques!

5 Steps to Full Body Orgasms

5 Steps to Full Body Orgasms

There are orgasms… and there are full-body orgasms! The two aren’t the same, they feel different and they affect you differently – physically, energetically and emotionally. So if you’re curious what a full-body orgasm is and how to have one or give one to your partner, keep reading!


Whenever I’m asked what a full-body orgasm is, I’m a bit lost for words


And that’s because it’s extremely difficult to describe with language an experience that’s beyond anything that my mind could ever fully grasp. It’s a bit like trying to describe a new colour using just words – it’s just very, very hard 😉


But I guess the first thing here is to understand what an orgasm actually is because that will give you a gateway into its fuller potential in your body. So an orgasm is a release of energy, of a sexual energy. First we build up arousal and sexual charge and then eventually we get to a point where that charge is too intense to hold in the body, and the energy is released during an orgasm.


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When we tense up our bodies in bed, that orgasmic release will typically happen externally


Men release their sexual charge out together with the semen during ejaculation. And women release it externally through a clitoral orgasm.


But! both men and women can learn to re-direct that orgasmic release inwards and upwards, which will lead to experiencing a full-body orgasm – an orgasm which feels expansive, profound and deeply blissful as it keeps flowing internally through your entire system.


It feels like every cell of your body is orgasming!


And instead of leaving you feeling drained and disconnected afterwards, this kind of expanded orgasms feel nurturing, energizing and deeply pleasurable.


It feels like a difference between a genital sneeze and a waterfall of erotic waves and ripples flowing through your entire system. So if you’re ready to upgrade your orgasms from sneezes to waterfalls, I’m going to tell you how to do just that!


1/ relax your body

Muscle tension causes energetic blockages in the body and stops the energy from flowing freely. So make sure to keep your body relaxed and open. Particularly your pelvic area should be free from any muscular tension.


2/ notice the sensations

Placement of your awareness is very important here. Where your attention goes, that’s where the energy flows.

If your attention is firmly held in your genitals, it’ll be hard for your energy to flow and expand. So keep noticing the sensations in your entire body, even the most subtle ones!


3/ breathe deeply

Your breath is a magical tool. Your breath is what actually makes the energy move. So keep your breathing slow, deep and relaxed. Allow your breath to travel all the way down to your pelvis.


Also, don’t hold the breath at any point. Keep the inhale flowing immediately after each exhale and each exhale immediately after each inhale, etc. Like an uninterrupted circle of breath.


4/ visualisation

The mind-body connection is powerful so use it to your advantage! Imagine pulling your energy upward through your body. Visualise it as a moving, expanding and circulating wave of light or colour. Use any particular visualisation that you find most helpful.


5/ sound

And finally sound. Sound is a powerful tool because the vibration of the sound moves energy. So open your mouth as you exhale and let out a sigh, a moan or any other sound that feels natural and delicious to you.


A lot of people shy away from making sounds during sex or masturbation but they’re just missing out on a very potent and powerful experience.


How about you – have you ever experienced full-body orgasms? How did it happen? And were you able to re-create the experience?

5 Steps to Full Body Orgasms

5 Steps to Full Body Orgasms

There are orgasms… and there are full-body orgasms! The two aren’t the same, they feel different and they affect you differently – physically, energetically and emotionally. So if you’re curious what a full-body orgasm is and how to have one or give one to your...

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How to Have Slow Sex & Stronger Orgasms

How to Have Slow Sex & Stronger Orgasms

Have you ever heard of slow sex? What comes to mind when you hear these words together? Slow – sex… What kind of scenes do you see when you picture it in your head? Can you even picture it?   When I first heard of this notion, I was shocked and surprised. In my...

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How to Have Slow Sex & Stronger Orgasms

How to Have Slow Sex & Stronger Orgasms

Have you ever heard of slow sex? What comes to mind when you hear these words together? Slow – sex… What kind of scenes do you see when you picture it in your head? Can you even picture it?


When I first heard of this notion, I was shocked and surprised. In my mind, these two words did not belong together. It sounded like a contradiction. And I was sure as hell that I had never experienced it. For many years of my life up to that point, sex was always fast and frantic – full of excitement, friction and rush, with almost non-existent foreplay.


So discovering slow sex was quite challenging at first since it questioned everything I knew about sex up to that point. But it also brought unexpected rewards and delights.


Slowing down and taking your time is a huge part of having a satisfying sex life. But most people are strongly conditioned for fast friction and chasing the orgasm. Would you like to learn how slowing down can revolutionize your sex life and create more pleasure and stronger intimacy?


I first heard of slow sex about 6 years ago. I was reading a book by Diana Richardson called “Slow sex” and at the time her ideas completely confused me and even scared me! Because after all, what was left in sex if you took away all the fast friction, all the excitement and all the animalistic passion? I couldn’t understand what slowing down was supposed to bring to the lovemaking.


As you can probably tell, my sex life back then was pretty mediocre.


And the sex itself was based more on ideas found in porn than in bedrooms of real, loving, intimate couples. It took me a while to learn that really mind-blowing sex isn’t just about friction and chasing that orgasm but more about a heart connection, about sensitivity and sensual touch, about profound pleasure, about breathing together and feeling the erotic energy in your body, enjoying the arousal building up, cherishing the togetherness, and about having a very special, magical, intimate time with your lover.


And it’s actually a bit sad when we reduce sex to just a chase towards orgasm. Because it is about so much more! And when we slow down, we can actually pay attention to other aspects of our lovemaking. We can open up our hearts to each other. We can awaken deep sensitivity within our bodies, using gentle, slow touch. We can create a meaningful container for our love which turns sex into a magical ritual of loving connection, pleasure and fun.


And for all the more daring lovers, a more advanced challenge is to introduce stillness into their bedrooms.


This is something that not many people have ever heard of or ever tried. But stopping all movement in the middle of sex is magic! Because when you’re aroused, when you’re enjoying a sexual connection with your partner, when your naked body is pressed against theirs and your entire system is activated and turned-on, there is a world of sensations happening inside of you. And when you stop and feel, you can notice all of it!


When you slow down or even stop, you’re also much more relaxed. And in a relaxed body, sexual energy can travel more freely, creating a more expanded experience of erotic energy and orgasms. When you’re rushing, your body is contracted and the orgasms become very localized and constricted. But when you relax, that sexual energy can travel much further, creating pleasure that flows and ripples through your entire system.


So next time you’re making love, slow down and take your time.


Become really present with yourself first, with your own body and your own senses, and then also with your partner, enjoying your connection, touching each other slowly. It’s as if you were discovering each other’s body, stroking their skin with curiosity, exploring pleasure in all sorts of different ways and forms.


You can play with different types of touch, different levels of pressure, touching different areas that maybe you haven’t given a lot of attention before. Using props, using your breath, breathing consciously brings a whole new level of pleasure into sex. Give yourself a full permission to experiment, to explore and to fully delve into your sexuality and your sensuality.


And please let me know what your first reaction to slow sex is! Is this idea completely new to you or have you heard of it before? Are you sure that it would never work for you or are you curious and ready to try? I look forward to hearing from you!



5 Steps to Full Body Orgasms

5 Steps to Full Body Orgasms

There are orgasms… and there are full-body orgasms! The two aren’t the same, they feel different and they affect you differently – physically, energetically and emotionally. So if you’re curious what a full-body orgasm is and how to have one or give one to your...

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How to Have Tantric Sex

How to Have Tantric Sex

In that very moment, when I first encountered Tantra, I fell in love. I fell deeply and passionately in love with tantric philosophy and its tools and rituals. And I fell particularly strongly in love with tantric sex. So if you’re curious what Tantra is and how to...

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10 Things Most People Still Don’t Know About Anal Sex

10 Things Most People Still Don’t Know About Anal Sex

Most people in our society still have a lot of hangups around their anuses. We consider them dirty, shameful and anal touch – wrong and embarrassing. The truth is that the poor, disgraced anus is extremely nerve rich, making it a very sensitive spot, able to receive and enjoy a lot of pleasure.


Both men and women are capable of experiencing intense pleasure in their anal areas. However, in order to have a truly enjoyable experience, you need to be aware of the rules of anal touch and anal sex.


Dr. Jack Morin was an American pioneer in the field of anal pleasure, and over many years he had done a lot of marvellous work helping men and women reclaim erotic pleasure in their anuses and to heal the phenomenon of “genital hole” – a high degree of dissociation and numbness many people experience there. I learned a lot from him about anal touch and if you are interested in delving into this subject much deeper, you should definitely research his work.


Here is what you need to know in order to be successful in your anal play:


1/  No pain

Anal touch should never, ever hurt. If it does – you are doing it wrong. Anal sphincters are muscle rings located at the entrance of the anus which are meant to keep things moving out. If something is introduced from the outside (a finger, penis or a toy), these muscles will tense up in order to stop the intrusion. Instead of forcing items in, you need to massage the anus externally first, in order to relax the sphincters before the insertion.


2/  Lubrication

There is no natural lubrication in the anus so you always need to use a lubricant during anal play. I recommend coconut oil.


3/  Rectum

Past the anal sphincters, you will encounter the rectum. Faeces are not normally stored in there until just before the bowel movement. You can, however, encounter traces of faeces in there. If that is a problem for either of you, I recommend having an enema or using nitrile gloves for protection.


4/  What to use

For most couples, anal sex does not include using the penis. Instead, they prefer using fingers or toys. Oral stimulation of the anus is called rimming and can be a source of a lot of pleasure. Using vibrating toys externally or internally can add an exciting level of pleasure.


5/  Sexual health

There are health risks associated with anal contact and if you are worried about STI’s, make sure to use a barrier – a condom for insertion or a dental dam for rimming.


6/  Communication

Keep communicating during the experience. The person being penetrated always has the final say when it comes to the anal stimulation. Nothing should be inserted into the anus until the recipient of the touch is ready and keen. As soon as they say ‘stop’, this should be fully respected. The anus is a highly sensitive area and as such, it can be both a source of a lot of pleasure and a lot of pain. As soon as the pleasure turns into pain, all touch should stop.


7/  Prostate

Many men enjoy prostate stimulation. The prostate is located on the belly side of the rectum, about two knuckles in.


8/  Anal orgasms

It is possible to experience anal orgasms, even without any direct genital stimulation. In my experience, this is not very common but it does happen sometimes; particularly when the person being anally stimulated is not determined to have an orgasm, but rather is completely immersed in the moment and in the pleasure they are experiencing, without any goals or expectations.


9/  Toy safety

If you are using toys, make sure to pick the ones with a flared base as it is possible to lose items inside the anus.


10/  Anal tension

Due to a sedentary lifestyle, trauma or shame, many people hold chronic tension inside the anus which can make insertion difficult and uncomfortable. In such cases, I recommend gently inserting the tip of your own finger into the anus while in the shower or a bath and trying to consciously relax the anal sphincters. When done on a regular basis, this practice will allow you to enjoy anal stimulation much more.


If you are still feeling a bit uncertain about anal stimulation, I would definitely recommend using nitrile gloves. This can provide a level of comfort to both parties from the hygiene perspective, and also for the protection of the receiver as nails or hard skin can feel unpleasant against the soft tissue of the anal canal.


As long as you are keeping in mind the rules of anal sex, you are very likely to give your beloved a very beautiful, safe and even ecstatic experience of anal pleasure.


Above all, take your time, stay curious, keep checking in with them and use plenty of lubrication. You might even discover that your partner becomes open to the idea of anal intercourse if this is something they had been opposed to before!

– from “Legendary Lover: 6 Essential Steps to Having Great Sex” by Helena Nista



Truth About Dick Pics

Truth About Dick Pics

I feel like it’s really time we talked about this very delicate topic. And if you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I’m not afraid to address … sensitive subjects. So here it is – dick pics! The good, the bad, the ugly. Why so many men send them, why...

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How to Have Stronger Erections

How to Have Stronger Erections

A lot of men come to me seeking advice on increasing the strength and hardness of their erections. It seems that there is a prevailing perception out in the world that a penis should be capable of being rock-hard for a long time which fact then is linked to a man’s...

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How to Give Her a Breast-gasm

How to Give Her a Breast-gasm

I still remember my first ever breast-gasm, many years ago. It was beautiful, powerful and blissful. As my partner kept stimulating my breasts, the pleasure steadily grew in my chest area and then exploded through my entire body. Ripples and waves of sweet, orgasmic...

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How to Find & Pleasure Her G-spot

How to Find & Pleasure Her G-spot

When I first heard of the G-spot and the G-spot orgasms, I was still a teenager and the whole concept was covered with a layer of mystery. I knew it was somewhere inside my vaginal canal and I even tried to look for it with my fingers but failed to locate it. My G-spot remained elusive (if it was even a real thing!) for many more years…


According to many people, the G-spot holds the key to woman’s vaginal orgasms.


Vaginal (internal) orgasms provide us ladies with a very different experience than the more common clitoral climax. The internal O feels more profound, more expansive, more grounding… It seems to flow like waves through our entire bodies, immersing us in a bliss-like state… which is in quite a contrast with the more external, explosive and sharp clitoral peaks.


The sad truth is that many, many women don’t know where their own G-spot is. Or how powerful its potential for pleasure is! Many other women are familiar with their G-spots but the area can be very de-sensitized due to years of rough sex. This means that a lot of ladies will struggle to stimulate that spot in a pleasurable way or they might even feel like there’s not a lot of sensation there. So if even women are confused about their G-spots, what chance of success do men have?


Where is the G-spot?


It’s not really a spot but more an area and it’s located on the upper wall of the vagina, close behind the vaginal entrance.


How to find it?


Insert a finger into the vaginal canal about two knuckles in. Press the pads of your fingers up towards her belly and start exploring. You’ll notice that the skin texture there is quite different than the rest of her vaginal canal. The vaginal walls are pretty smooth but the G-spot feels more like the roof of your mouth. The ridges will typically become even more pronounced when the woman is aroused.


How to stimulate the G-spot?


This is where all the fun begins… All women are different and like different things but here are a few techniques to start you off on this exploration adventure:


1/ Circles

Massage the G-spot with your fingers in a circular motion. Vary speed and pressure. Keep asking for her feedback to figure out what kind of touch works best for her.


2/ Come-hither motion

Insert a finger, press it into the G-spot and slowly pull it out, allowing it to glide over the whole area. It should feel like as if you were dragging a coin off of the table.

Vary speed and pressure. Try two or even three fingers. Keep asking for feedback.


3/ Pressing in

Place your finger on the G-spot and push into it. Keep communicating with her to find the best level of pressure. After a few moment, move your finger to a different location (within the same area) and repeat. Keep repeating until you find all the most yummy spots.

Remember that even a tiny difference in the placement of your finger can make a huge difference to her pleasure!


4/ Toys

There is a whole range of dildos and specifically shaped G-spot massagers out there. They can be a lot of fun to play with!

And if you’re on a budget, you can use a cucumber but make sure that it’s peeled and smooth. Also, ask your lady if she has a preference for a particular vegetable.


5/ Penetration

The good old missionary position isn’t typically great for stimulating the G-spot but there are other great options:

– modified missionary – the woman puts a few pillows under her butt and keeps her feet flat on the bed,

– woman on top – man is lying on his back, woman lowers herself onto his penis, BUT she needs to lean back, this way she can position herself pretty well for some G-spot action,

– reverse cowgirl – this is still woman on top but here she’s facing her lover’s feet instead of his head,

– from behind – not quite the doggy style because the woman lies down on her belly with her legs together while her lover enters her from behind.


Make sure to experiment with all these positions, looking for the best angle, pressure and speed. And make sure to be playful about the whole experience! Nothing kills the erotic fun more quickly than treating it like a chore.


This is an invitation to start exploring the mysterious G-spot and learning more about it.


The more familiar we are with our (and our partner’s) genital anatomy, the better we can navigate our way around it and the more pleasure we can give and receive.


So let’s start exploring!


5 Steps to Full Body Orgasms

5 Steps to Full Body Orgasms

There are orgasms… and there are full-body orgasms! The two aren’t the same, they feel different and they affect you differently – physically, energetically and emotionally. So if you’re curious what a full-body orgasm is and how to have one or give one to your...

read more
How to Have Slow Sex & Stronger Orgasms

How to Have Slow Sex & Stronger Orgasms

Have you ever heard of slow sex? What comes to mind when you hear these words together? Slow – sex… What kind of scenes do you see when you picture it in your head? Can you even picture it?   When I first heard of this notion, I was shocked and surprised. In my...

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Essential Guide to Spanking

Essential Guide to Spanking

As both a keen receiver and giver of spanking, I’ve learned over the years that this form of kink can be pleasurable, fun and even orgasmic when performed right. But it can also be unpleasant, irritating or painful when performed without appropriate skill or insight.


My own butt is a highly erogenous zone which enjoys many different kinds of touch…


… It also seems to draw my lovers’ hands to it almost magically as I cannot actually recall ever having a partner who was NOT spanking me on a regular basis.


Because of that, my ass has experienced many forms of touch and spanking – the gentle, the intense, the slow, the fast, the Zen, the tantric, etc. Most of it was great, some of it – not so much. And on the basis of all of that empirical research, let me share with you my findings…


What goes without saying is that you need to obtain consent from your partner first. If they’re not into spanking, don’t do it. But if they’re willing to try, here are my top tips for a great spanking session:


1/ Location

Of course, you can spank or slap your partner on different body parts, but when it comes to their butt, there are some rules. Generally, the bottom half of the butt – the fleshy part – is most pleasurable to spank. The top part or the area near the hip can be quite unpleasant or even painful so make sure to check in with your partner about their preference first.


2/ Communication

Until you learn your partner’s preferences and tolerance for spanking, it’s a great idea to ask them to use a scale of intensity of 1 to 10. Also ask them, what level of intensity they’ll be willing to go up to. 1 is a very mild spank they can barely feel while 10 is an intense pain. If they choose to go up to 7, ask them to rate the spanking as you go so that you can learn where their limits are.

They don’t have to rate every single slap but mainly the ones where you increase intensity.


3/ No bang

In case of spanking, do not start off with a bang. You’ll need to build up to it. This is quite important and, on many occasions, poor spankers have totally turned me off with this mistake.

When you start off with a powerful slap, the area is not usually prepared yet and the experience will be most likely painful. So instead of an orgasmic moan, you’ll get from your lover an irritated “ouch”!

Start with little, gentle slaps and after each few, make sure to massage the area with your open palm. While massaging, allow your hand to also glide up to their back or down the legs in order to spread out yummy sensations.

When I have spank-gasms, the pleasure shoots from my butt up and down through my entire body so it’s essential to activate your lover’s entire system and to open up those energy channels for the yummy erotic energy to travel freely.


4/ Vary speed and intensity

Constantly going at the same speed and intensity will quickly make things boring. So, change it up! Build up from gentle slaps to stronger ones. Once your partner is good and ready, surprise them with a well-timed sharp spank. Play with a succession of quick ones and then make them wait for your hand.

Slow down and apply your spanking like an artist, playing your partner’s butt like a gorgeous instrument.


5/ Have fun!

Make sure to enjoy yourself! If you’re not going to have fun, it’s not likely that your partner will. This should be a playful experience for both of you.


Make sure to also discuss the experience afterwards. Ask your partner what they enjoyed and what they didn’t. Enquire whether they’d be willing to play with spanking again and if so, how can you make the experience even better.


Remember that everybody is different and that the only way to learn their preferences is through honest and open communication. There’s a lot of fun to be had in the bedroom. But it’s essential to know your partner’s body well enough so that you can give them most pleasure and reduce any potential discomfort.


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