I often say to my clients that penetrative sex should never, ever, ever happen unless she is wet, juicy and aroused. Because without that beautiful wetness, sex will be most likely uncomfortable or even painful for her. Which will make orgasming or even enjoying sex...
So you’ve heard of multiple orgasms and now you’d like to start having them too. Maybe you’re feeling intrigued and curious – maybe even a little intimidated.
After all, multiple orgasms are usually made to sound like magical, unicorn-like experiences denied most everyday humans: as if they’re some mystical realm reserved only for tantric lovers, yogic practitioners, and people who are really into the Kamasutra.
But the truth is everybody can learn how to have multiple orgasms. If you have a body and you can experience arousal, then you’re capable of multiple orgasms too. Yes, even if you’re a man. Even if you’ve never even had a single orgasm before.
Because becoming multi-orgasmic is part of your sexual birthright. Learning how to have multiple orgasms is simply about recognising where you’re blocking your multi-orgasmic self, and where you’re resisting your natural capacity for many, many orgasms. So let’s start at the beginning…
What are Multiple Orgasms?
Multiple orgasms happen when a person reaches an orgasm more than once during a sexual experience. You can be multi-orgasmic all by yourself or with a partner. Both men and women can be multi-orgasmic, but multiple orgasms in men can be a little trickier because of the refractory period (more about that later).
Multiple orgasms can happen in close proximity – just seconds apart. Or arousal can decline before it builds up again, taking you into another climax… and another one… and another one… and so on.
Despite the amazing pleasure and bliss promised by multiple orgasms, according to studies, less than 10% of women are having multiple orgasms. And there’s barely any data about men having multiple orgasms. (‘Cause we live in a culture that doesn’t really talk about these kinds of things).
But that doesn’t mean it’s not possible for you. Anyone can learn how to have multiple orgasms – you just need to follow the right approach.
What do Multiple Orgasms Feel Like?
How a multiple orgasms feels depends on the type of orgasm you have, and how close together they are. Some women describe multiple orgasms as one intense orgasm with softer waves of orgasmic pleasure straight after. Others describe having many orgasms in one sexual encounter that build in intensity. For men, multiple orgasms usually happen without ejaculation, because after ejaculation men enter the refractory period.
Once you start having multiple orgasms, you may also find yourself experiencing pleasure in new and unexpected ways. Whereas sexual arousal and pleasure are usually associated with genital touch, as your overall arousal builds you may find yourself able to reach orgasm from nipple touch, anal play or other under-explored areas of your body.
In this way, multiple orgasms can help to expand your overall orgasmic potential, and open you up to whole new ways of experiencing pleasure.
How Many Orgasms Can You Have?
The truth is there is no limit. Some multi-orgasmic women report having an average of 5 orgasms per session, but other women have reported going much higher than that. For men, it really depends on their ejaculation control and their ability to delay the refractory period.
Over the years, different studies have attempted to quantify orgasms and learn more about human orgasmic potential. But there’s still SO much science doesn’t know about human sexuality.
But there are a few factors that will affect how many orgasms you can have:
- how much time you have for sex / masturbation
- how connected you are to your own body and your sensitivity
- how familiar you are with your erogenous zones and how well you can stimulate them / ask your partner to do that for you
- the level of past sexual trauma still present in your body
- any inhibitions, limiting beliefs, shame, guilt, and other blocks present in your system
- your anatomy and libido.
Can Men Have Multiple Orgasms?
Absolutely yes! Men have an incredible potential for pleasure – it’s just not something that’s widely spoken about. Men have the same capacity to be multi-orgasmic as women – but they have to learn how to control ejaculation in order to overcome the refractory period.
The refractory what?
The Refractory period is the time your body needs to recover after each orgasm before you can become sexually aroused and reach climax again.
For men, this means that after ejaculating, they have a period of time where they can’t get an erection.
Many women also experience a refractory period after a climax that involves lots of clitoral stimulation: the clit becomes very sensitive, and there’s a period of time where you want a break from clitoral stimulation.
But women typically experience a much shorter refractory period than men.
Multiple Orgasms in Women
Women are naturally multi-orgasmic – something that we sadly we don’t talk about enough. Women are actually able to experience a whole array of delicious orgasms too, well beyond the conventional clitoral orgasms.
Women can have vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasms, cervical orgasms, anal orgasms, breast orgasms – and much, much more. (Yes, the female body is AMAZING!)
And because women are capable of so many different types of orgasms, they’re usually able to become multi-orgasmic much more easily than men.
In fact, once women learn how to have orgasms beyond the conventional clitoral orgasm, they don’t experience a refractory period at all! Which means it’s often easier for women to have multiple orgasms in a shorter period of time than men.
Want to learn all about the different types of female orgasms – and how to have them? My Orgasmic Empowerment course will help you unlock your multi-orgasmic potential and open yourself to a whole new level of pleasure. Check it out here.
Multiple Orgasms in Men
Here’s the really exciting part though: men can orgasm without ejaculation! Yes – men can have more than one type of orgasm as well.
This is something that most modern men have never heard of. But tantric men have been practicing this skill for thousands of years.
Orgasm and ejaculation are in fact two separate phenomena – but they typically happen together for an untrained man.
Ejaculation is the pleasurable squirting of the semen, while orgasm is a release of arousal: of that delicious sexual energy that builds up to the point of climax. Orgasm feels like an intense surge of pleasure in your body and it usually precedes ejaculation – but the ejaculation doesn’t HAVE to happen.
And if ejaculation doesn’t happen, there’s no refractory period. Yay!
There are various techniques that allow men to separate ejaculation and orgasm. And for most men this process takes at least a few weeks of training. However, the men in my Tantric Mastery online course have been reporting full-body non-ejaculatory orgasms within the first week of training! Click here to discover exactly how to control ejaculation, say goodbye to the refractory period and learn how to have male multiple orgasms for men.
How to Achieve Multiple Orgasms?
It all starts with a really good awareness of your own body. When it comes to our sexuality, arousal and pleasure, we’re all different and unique. But here are the most important points to keep in mind:
1/ Know that you can
If you believe that you can orgasm more than once, then you’ll be more likely to actually do it. Check your mindset and make sure you’re not running any unhelpful ideas such as “I’m just not able to orgasm like that.” Or “having multiple orgasms is just for people who XYZ.”
Know that having multiple orgasms is possible for YOU too – and go into your sexual encounters with an attitude of when – not if.
That doesn’t mean you put pressure or expectation on yourself though. (This is a journey, and it can take some time.) But trusting in yourself and your body’s capacity for pleasure is key to maintaining your curiosity while you continue with your orgasmic exploration.
2/ Take your time
Allow yourself plenty of time to build up your arousal energy during your sexual play and/or self pleasuring session. The more energy you build up, the more energy you’ll have for your next orgasm (and the next, and the next!)
That might mean slowing down – which also allows you to savour the experience more. It might mean taking more time for foreplay, and taking your time before you build up to the intensely pleasurable activities.
Remember – it’s a journey, not a race!
3/ Talk your way through
Partners who communicate regularly and openly about their desire, needs and wants in the bedroom report having more satisfying and more frequent orgasms. Communication is key!
Being able to communicate also helps you to follow point number 1 (taking your time). If you feel like you’re building up intensity too quickly, don’t be scared to ask your partner to slow down or ask for something different.
The more you own and ask for what you want, the more you expand your orgasmic potential.
If you’re in a relationship and want to take your sex life to the next level together, Tantric Sex For Couples is the complete guide to help deepen the love, connection and pleasure in the bedroom. Click here to learn more.
If you’re stressed, tense or tired, your body might not be up for multiple orgasms (or even 1 orgasm for that matter!). So make sure that you’re feeling calm and relaxed before you begin your multi-orgasmic session.
A thriving, pleasurable and exciting sex life actually begins with taking care of yourself, knowing how to de-stress and how to feel relaxed, present and open to pleasure.
5/ Map your erogenous zones
Being familiar with your erogenous zones is essential when it comes to giving yourself what you want – AND when asking for what you want from your partner. Knowing how, where and when to touch yourself are the skills you need to achieve multiple orgasms over and over again.
And how do you map your erogenous zones? By becoming an explorer!
Explore different parts of your body, and experiment with different kinds of touch too. This kind of curiosity can lead you to discovering new, orgasmic ways to touch your body.
And don’t forget that things change and feel different as your arousal builds too. One area might not feel much when you first start out, but once you’re feeling hot and turned on, suddenly it’s a pleasure wonderland!
6/ Bring in the toys!
Many of my clients find that sex toys greatly enhance their ability to orgasm and the ease with which they get there – so don’t be afraid to give it a go!
Toys that incorporate ALL your senses can help you expand your pleasure and build up even more sexual energy (which you’ll need to help you reach orgasm after orgasm). So things like scented massage oil, feathers, luxurious silks or bondage toys can be great for building the sensual experience needed for multiple orgasms.
For men, toys that help you incorporate prostate play, or that stimulate your genitals beyond just the head of your cock can help to expand your pleasure and also help you control ejaculation (cock rings are a good example).
And for women, toys that help you stimulate a variety of erogenous zones – from your clitoris to your cervix and everywhere in between – will also help you build your sexual energy to new orgasmic heights.
7/ Use your breath and body
Deep breath and mindfulness can create wonders when it comes to arousal and pleasure, so keep checking in with your body. If you’re distracted and your breathing is constricted, your body will struggle to climb the arousal ladder.
Slowing down your breath and moving sexual energy through your entire body is key for having multiple orgasms for both men and women. In fact, the breath is one of the most important tools of orgasmic, tantric experiences.
The more connected you are to your breath, the more able you are to move orgasmic energy around and through your body, and the easier it is to reach orgasmic, bliss filled states.
The Benefits of Being Multi-Orgasmic
Each orgasm brings the body a wealth of benefits. So it goes without saying that many O’s will just multiply the rewards. Here are most commonly quoted benefits of multiple orgasms:
- deeper intimacy in the relationship
- greater pleasure and satisfaction of both partners
- lower stress levels
- better health and wellbeing due to the pleasure hormones being regularly released in the body
- better immunity
- better sleep
Stop! Before you start cultivating your multi-orgasmic ability!…
It’s not just about the quantity, it’s also about quality! Multiple orgasms can sound amazing and exciting but not everybody needs them. If you’re perfectly satisfied with your sex life, even if you only climax once per session – that’s perfectly fine!
AKA don’t fix it if it ain’t broken!
It’s wonderful to always aspire to better experiences. But don’t let that pursuit stop you from enjoying what you already have. Because one really epic orgasm can be exactly what you need to feel satisfied!
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