3 Things that Will Make You an Exceptional Lover

3 Things that Will Make You an Exceptional Lover

I speak to a lot of people who want to be great lovers, both men and women.

I find that men can feel particularly inadequate or ashamed if they struggle to give their partners a wonderful experience in the bedroom. It seems that “being a man” means, among other things – being a fantastic lover, being able to pleasure and satisfy a woman sexually every time. But sex for most of us is no simple matter and a lot of different factors can affect our erotic experience.

Plus, women also face struggles in the bedroom, hence the popularity of sex tips and advice in Cosmo and other magazines. Unfortunately, this kind of articles only offer superficial and often contradictory advice. They focus on strokes and techniques that can be helpful but don’t address deeper, more meaningful needs and desires that we experience between the sheets.

And today I want to address this. Watch my video to learn about 3 powerful things that will help anybody become an exceptional lover.


The video content:

We all want to be amazing lovers and create an exceptional experience between the sheets, both for ourselves and our partners. But in the world where superficial sexual advice is abundant, we all can get a bit confused with all the contradictory tips from Cosmo and other magazines. So today I’m going to tell you about 3 powerful secrets of the lovemaking art that not many people know about.

1 YOU LOVE TO TEASE

You are versed in the art of teasing. You take your time and play your partner’s body like an instrument. You know how to take them into heights of pleasure but you’re in no rush to get anywhere. You stroke and caress to build arousal and to entice desire. But you also know the sweet torture of keeping your partner on the edge and not quite getting them there.

You know that an orgasm is not only about the destination but mostly about the journey. You are very aware that the best pleasure and orgasms happen NOT when you get there quickly but when you take your sweet time and bring your partner there slowly.

2 IT’S NOT ABOUT PERFORMANCE

You’re curious about sex and you maybe even study and master different techniques, strokes and practices. But deep down you know that exceptional sex is not about your performance or about any particular technique but about the experience itself. So in every moment you remain present – present in your own body, noticing your own sensations and pleasure and also present with your partner, tuning in and feeling into them and their pleasure.

You are aware that your bodies have an inner wisdom and that following that wisdom will guide you better than any sex manual or scripted performance. You watch out for your partner’s response, you watch their breath, muscle tension, their sounds and reactions. And you allow their body to guide your touch, pace and movement.

3 YOU ENJOY YOURSELF

You genuinely have a wonderful time in bed! Whether you’re giving or receiving, you know that touch is always two-directional and you delight in every little stroke and caress. You touch with awareness, with feeling. There is nothing automatic, mechanical or absent-minded about your lovemaking. In every moment you’re tuned in and you find delight in the responses of your own body and the responses of your partner.

You’re engaged, you’re keen and you genuinely want to be there. Your lovemaking is always intentional. And by that I mean that you don’t just go with the flow. You create the flow! You intend to have an amazing time, you intend to enjoy and give mind-blowing pleasure and you treat sex as a conscious practice.

And now I want to hear from you! What makes an exceptional lover in your experience? Please share in the comments below because I’d love to hear from you.

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How to Have Slow Sex & Stronger Orgasms

Have you ever heard of slow sex? What comes to mind when you hear these words together? Slow – sex… What kind of scenes do you see when you picture it in your head? Can you even picture it?

When I first heard of this notion about 5 years ago, I was shocked and surprised. In my mind, these two words did not belong together. It sounded like a contradiction.

And I was sure as hell that I had never experienced it. For many, many years of my life up to that point, sex was always fast and frantic. Full of excitement, friction and rush. With foreplay almost non-existent since there was no point in wasting time on anything else than the main event – penetration. And even while my lover was inside me, it was all about thrusting, building up energy and arousal, until he finished in an ejaculation.

So discovering slow sex was quite challenging at first since it questioned everything I knew about sex up to that point. But it also brought unexpected rewards and delights.

Watch my video to learn more and then make sure to play with the principles of slow sex yourself. Or maybe you’ve already experienced it in your relationships?

 


 
P.S. Let me know your initial reaction to the idea of slow sex. And whether you’re planning to give it a go in your own bedroom!
 
Video content:
Slowing down and taking your time is a huge part of having a satisfying sex life. But most people are strongly conditioned for fast friction and chasing the orgasm. Would you like to learn how slowing down can revolutionize your sex life and create more pleasure and stronger intimacy?

I first learned about the notion of slow sex about 5 years ago. I was reading a book by Diana Richardson called “Slow sex” and at the time her ideas completely confused me and even scared me! Because after all, what was left in sex if you took away all the fast friction, all the excitement and all the animalistic passion? I couldn’t understand what slowing down was supposed to bring to the lovemaking.

As you can probably tell, my sex life back then was pretty mediocre, and the sex itself was based more on ideas found in porn than in bedrooms of real, loving, intimate couples. It took me a while to learn that really mind-blowing sex isn’t just about friction but more about a heart connection, about sensitivity and sensual touch, about profound pleasure, about breathing together and feeling the erotic energy in your body, enjoying the arousal building up, cherishing the togetherness, and about having a very special, magical, intimate time with your lover.

Taking your time is a huge part of deeply satisfying sex. In conventional bedrooms, people tend to race towards orgasm, creating a lot of friction and excitement to reach that end goal. It also seems that the whole sexual experience is rated by that orgasm – was it reached (which indicates success) and how strong it was. And when the orgasm didn’t happen, we somehow end up disappointed and frustrated.

And it’s actually a bit sad when we make sex only about that race to orgasm. Because it is about so much more! And when we slow down, we can actually pay attention to other aspects of our lovemaking. We can open up our hearts to each other. We can awaken deep sensitivity within our bodies, using gentle, slow touch. We can create a meaningful container for our love which turns sex into a magical ritual of loving connection, pleasure and fun.

And for all the more daring lovers, a more advanced challenge is to actually introduce stillness in their bedrooms. This is something that not many people have ever heard about and ever tried. But stopping all movement in the middle of sex is magic! Because when you’re aroused, when you’re enjoying a sexual connection with your partner, when your naked body is pressed against theirs and your entire system is activated and turned-on, there is a world of sensations happening inside of you. And when you stop and feel, you can fully notice it all.

When you slow down or even stop, you’re also much more relaxed. And in a relaxed body, sexual energy can travel more freely, creating a more expanded experience of erotic energy and orgasms in your body. When you’re rushing, your body is constricted and the orgasms can only happen in your genital region. But when you relax, that sexual energy can travel much further, creating pleasure that flows and ripples through your entire system.

So next time you’re making love, slow down and take your time. Become really present with yourself first, with your own body and your own senses, and then also with your partner, enjoying your connection, touching each other slowly. It’s as if you were discovering each other’s body, stroking their skin with curiosity, exploring pleasure in all sorts of different ways, and forms.

You can play with different types of touch, different levels of pressure, touching different areas that maybe you haven’t given a lot of attention before. Using props, using your breath, breathing consciously brings a whole new level of pleasure into sex. Give yourself a full permission to experiment, to explore and to fully delve into your sexuality and your sensuality.

And please let me know what your first reaction to slow sex is! Is this idea completely new to you or have you heard of it before? Are you sure that it would never work for you or are you curious and ready to try? I look forward to hearing from you!

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And then I shared my story. I took them on a journey of my spiritual pursuits that started early in my life. I talked about developing my psychic intuition, about learning to see auras, becoming a Reiki practitioner and exploring with shamanic herbs. But when I started talking about Tantra and merging my spirituality with my sexuality, everybody around the table wanted to know more!

I told them the story which is particularly dear to me, the story of meeting God through my orgasm. I told them how I trained my body and expanded my pleasure potential through my self-pleasuring practice and about different tantric techniques that allowed me to do that. My listeners were so fascinated, I ended my story by giving them all a simple practice to reach full-body orgasms through breathing.

When I was leaving the party, I wasn’t sure who had more fun – me telling my story or others hearing it!

So now I want to share this story with you. Please watch my video to learn how you too can meet God through orgasm:

 


PS. Don’t forget to watch the FREE Legendary Pleasure Masterclass! And once you learn and apply all the techniques taught there, message me about your experiences with it! xxx

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Most people don’t realize that their masturbation habits condition their bodies for either abundant or low levels of pleasure and sexual satisfaction. When we masturbate, we’re actively wiring our bodies and nervous systems. This wiring in turn determines how we experience and how much we enjoy erotic touch – our own and our partner’s.

The notion of neuroplasticity means that your repeated behaviours affect and change your body and brain. And this applies in every area of life, including sex. When you fall into a routine and always touch yourself in the same way, you’re wiring your body to respond to a particular kind of touch and stimulation. And this is significant because without meaning to, we’re able to seriously limit our ability to respond to sensual or sexual touch.

So I want you to ask yourself this question: Do you still touch yourself the same way you did 10 years ago?

If you do, you’re not alone! But it is time to shake things up so in today’s video, I’m going to show you 5 unusual ways to masturbate.

 

PS. If masturbation coaching sounds appealing to you, check out my Masturbation Coaching online course. It has now supported thousands of people in improving their sexual satisfaction by helping them change their self-pleasuring habits!

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“I am learning so much from your online course! I now have full control and only ejaculate when I want to. And my sensitivity is increasing daily. Amazing stuff! :-)”

 

This is a message I received from one of the students of my online courses. Messages like that land in my mailbox on a regular basis, both from men and women, and fill my heart with gratitude and excitement every single time. It’s time we smashed sexual repression and claimed our right to fully orgasmic, blissful sex, whenever we want it!

 

So today I’m answering a question that I often encounter as a Tantra practitioner:

 

Can men have multiple orgasms?

Is it something they can practice and master?

Or do multiple orgasms belong in women’s bodies?

 

A lot of people misunderstand this concept and presume that I’m talking about men ejaculating more often and becoming drained of their energy. But that’s not what is meant by a multi-orgasmic man. So let me explain what the buzz is about and how to start playing with your own orgasmic potential…

 

 

PS. If you’re curious whether you too can learn to experience multiple orgasms, sign up for my online course for men Tantric Mastery.

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“IT TAKES 1,000 LOVING THRUSTS TO SATISFY A WOMAN”
– Mantak Chia

Years ago I would look at this sentence and think that the author was delusional. I mean who could have sex for this long?? My lovers up to that point made love to me for an average of 10 minutes – including foreplay. Often less than that. How many thrusts is that? Maybe 200?… But it was hard and fast and for me, painful.

And the ‘loving’ bit – what made a thrust loving? How could you tell? From my perspective there was nothing loving about the thrusts I was receiving. I was allowing my lover to use my body for his pleasure while I would sort of check out and wait for him to finish.

It all changed when I entered the world of Tantra and started studying the techniques of tantric lovers. Exploring sacred sexuality, using breath and awareness for more pleasure, opening up my body and my sensuality has been truly beautiful. But being with tantric men rocked my world in more ways than one!

Sex became an immersive experience full of passion, pleasure and connection. I discovered new levels of bliss and orgasmic ecstasy. And I couldn’t check out anymore because my partner’s focus and gaze was keeping me present and alive in bed.

For the first time ever I started to experience his penis as present and healing. And his thrusts as pleasurable and loving! … particularly as he kept building my arousal over a long period of time and using many, many thrusts… Yes, MANY more than 200! AND they were way slower than the ‘hard and fast’ guys.

This is something that I go into in greater detail in my Tantric Mastery for Men online course.

They say that women crave GREAT sex even more than men do. The thing is, most women aren’t getting great sex. So for the men out there, practice conscious loving thrusts and so give the women you’re with a truly amazing experience!

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