Masturbation Month & Pleasure Focus

Masturbation Month & Pleasure Focus

May is here which means different things for different people. But for sex therapists, it’s the International Masturbation Month! What does it mean? It means that for the entire 31 days we encourage everybody to openly discuss self-touch, self-pleasure practices and healthy masturbation habits.

 

And why not?! We all enjoy pleasure. In fact our primal instinct is to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

 

But how much pleasure exactly are we allowing in our lives?…

 

A week ago I started to consciously bring more pleasure into my life – I mean, what better way to beat the Coronavirus blues?… I’ve been taking long, luxurious baths with scented oils and Epsom salts, having that coffee break when I need it, while indulging in a piece of dark organic chocolate, listening to beautiful music when performing chores at home, enjoying a glass of my favourite wine at dinner time, having extra long self-pleasuring sessions as often as I can, meeting my friends (online) for long and meaningful conversations, preparing delicious meals, dancing, singing, reading, taking mindful breaks in the middle of a busy day… The list goes on!

 

This pleasure focus can be also very successfully used in your masturbation practice!

 

A lot of people get into a bit of a rut in their self-touch habits. They develop masturbation routines early on in life and then continue touching themselves in the same ways for many, many years. It seems that efficiency becomes the main goal here and once we discover the most effective strokes, we reach for them every time.

 

But masturbation can be much more than just a quick way to bring you to a climax. It can be a source of incredible delights and a powerful training tool to keep expanding your body’s erotic potential. It can be a way to heal you, to deeply nurture your body with blissful energy and even to have your mind blown on a regular basis…

 

If you are not quite certain where to begin your pleasure exploration, mindfulness is a great way to discover some new, delicious erogenous zones.

 

Take a moment to sit down in silence, close your eyes and notice the way your body is feeling. Our bodies speak to us all the time, they know exactly what we need. They keep whispering but we usually do not listen. See if you can hear that whisper… Don’t think about it, don’t try to figure it out. Simply FEEL your body and notice where it desires to be touched.

 

When you masturbate, apply the same mindfulness approach. You can also throw in a healthy pinch of curiosity. Take your time, don’t rush the experience. Explore your entire body. Look for pleasure sensations, look for the most sensitive, yummy spots. How much can you discover? What can you learn about your pleasure zones?

 

When I first started studying Masturbation Coaching, I was spending a lot of time on homework practices.

 

And I couldn’t believe how much I was learning about my own body – and that’s after many, many years of touching myself in the same boring ways previously!… One of the things I learned was that when I slowly drag my fingernails up my stomach, that sends shivers of pleasure through my spine… Wow, I had no idea!!!

 

How about you? How can YOU bring more pleasure into your Masturbation Month? If you’re a bit stuck for ideas, check out my Masturbation Coaching online course. It’s one of my most popular programs with thousands of people all over the world enrolled to date. And to celebrate this very special month, I’m offering the entire course at half price with coupon code SelfLove. Enrol now and begin your own Masturbation Journey!

 

It’s only 6 May and I’ve been having an amazing month so far!… How about you?… 

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How to Experience Even More Pleasure

How to Experience Even More Pleasure

A long time ago, I stumbled upon a very interesting technique that proved to have an incredible effect on my body. The technique helps to re-sensitize any body part and works particularly well for the genital area. I have been sharing this technique with my clients and friends for years now and the feedback has been truly amazing.

 

Through a variety of harsh or rushed sexual experiences we usually develop a certain hardness (armouring) in our genitals.

 

Its function is to protect the delicate tissue of the skin from friction. This is achieved by numbing the body’s response to touch. This protective function, however, also limits our ability to feel pleasure. Have you ever heard anybody say that they cannot feel a lot or any pleasure while having sex? That’s because their body has armoured itself in the course of ongoing aggressive, fast or friction-driven sexual contact.

 

Fortunately, our body has also the ability to de-armour itself. This is done through a regular practice of being re-sensitized. The technique I am about to share with you helps with exactly this issue and can be used for any body part, however, I will concentrate here on the genitals. The technique is called ‘breathing into your genitals’ and is as simple as it sounds.

 

Don’t be deceived by its simplicity though because it’s also extremely powerful when used correctly!

 

This technique can be practiced anytime as nobody will be able to tell what you are doing. I particularly recommend doing the breathing in five-minute blocks a few times every day.

 

You can practice whenever you find yourself in a situation where you can safely give some of your attention to your breathing practice. I usually do mine in the car, while watching TV, reading a book, listening to a lecture, studying, meditating, etc. I find it a bit more tricky to practice while I’m moving – going for a walk, shopping, etc., however, do give it a go if you feel like it!…

 

How to perform the practice:

 

As you take a deep breath in, imagine that the air you’re inhaling is flowing all the way down to your genitals. And as you exhale, keep your awareness there – in your pussy or penis. As you continue this practice, make sure that your breath is long, deep and full. It should not feel like an effort though, more like a deep wave of air flowing through your body in a full but relaxed way.

 

With every breath allow your genitals to relax more and more, being “filled” with the air you are inhaling – like a balloon. Feel your entire genital area opening up more and more, like a beautiful flower. Feel your muscles and tissues softening and your intimate bits relaxing, gently caressed by the air you are breathing.

 

The essence of this technique is becoming fully aware of the sensitivity of your genital area, which will keep growing and expanding while you’re breathing deeply. 

 

The combination of deep breath, muscle relaxation and placement of your attention in your genitals is a powerful combo! The effects are usually felt pretty quickly.

 

I still remember the first day I tried this practice – I did this breathing practice 3 times in one day, approximately five minutes each time. A few hours later I had sex with my lover and I just could not believe what was happening to my body! The incredible pleasure of having him inside me was more intense than ever before… Plus I was so wet, I actually thought that he might have already ejaculated inside me. I actually asked him whether he did but it was my own juice flowing more abundantly than ever before.

 

So there you go – so simple yet so powerful! Please do give this practice a go and let me know how it worked for you. I look forward to hearing your stories of pleasure, sensuality and joy!

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Your Orgasms Can Activate Your Desires

Your Orgasms Can Activate Your Desires

I feel a little weird every time someone asks me about my age. Not because I’m worried about it or because it makes me uncomfortable. It doesn’t.

 

However, each time I answer this question, the reaction is one of shock and surprise. And it happens so often and without fail that I don’t even look out for that “No way, really??” look on their face. I just state my age and move on with the conversation.

 

But it does get me thinking…

 

How come so many other people my age look so much older than me? Why do I seem to effortlessly keep my youthful appearance, even though the date on my ID tells a very different story?

 

And yes, I do make an effort to eat healthy and exercise. But I’m far from ideal and often lack discipline in these areas. And, to be absolutely honest with you, I actually believe it’s something else…

 

As a Tantra practitioner, I regularly move sexual energy through my body.

 

I have now taught thousands of individuals about the amazing healing, energizing and rejuvenating qualities of our orgasmic charge. Your erotic charge can literally create a new life – a baby – when expelled out of a man’s body and connected with a woman’s sexual centre. And when that charge is consciously moved and expanded inside of our own bodies – it creates more life for ourselves.

 

And since, most of the time we experience arousal, we’re not actually planning to become parents, it just makes sense to me to use that potent energy to invigorate our own bodies.

 

But did you know that your orgasmic energy is much more powerful than that? On top of increasing your wellbeing, it can literally blow life into any desire, wish or goal that you have in your life. Your orgasms can charge your dreams and make them come true!

 

Isn’t that magical?…

 

Over the years, I’ve used my orgasms to manifest things like trips, money, lovers, a car, a community, more joy and better health among other things.

 

There is no limit to the creative power of our sexual energy and all it takes is willingness to try. Sex Magic is real magic. It involves entering a state of altered consciousness created by surrendering to states of high arousal. Once there, the mind can bliss out, while the body is flooded with amazing erotic pleasure. When the vision of your desired goal is then included in this experience, a powerful alchemical transformation can happen, allowing the goal to be activated, charged and released into the Universe on the wave of orgasm.

 

This is the most potent form of manifestation known to man

 

…because it combines our desire with nature’s ultimate creative force – sexual energy. And I teach all about that process in my online course Manifesting with Sex Magic.

 

The course is currently on special and is available at a 50% discount with coupon code MAGIC (only until tomorrow!).

 

So if you’re ready to infuse your body, mind and life with more amazing things that you desire and if you’d like to learn how to use a powerful Sex Magic ritual to achieve that, check out my online course. And make sure to let me know what you manifest with your newfound orgasmic power!

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How to Cherish Your Arousal Daily

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There are many reasons why I love driving my car – it’s the ultimate “me-time”! I don’t need to do anything (other than drive), I feel relaxed, the car is comfortable, I get to listen to my favourite music or audiobooks… And!… I get to play with my arousal.

 

Typically, I’ll start with a few clenches of my pelvic floor, usually coordinated with the breath. This activates my muscles nicely, and increases the sensitivity of the area. Next, I’ll deepen my breath, while fully relaxing my genital muscles. With every inhale, I’ll keep sending more air, more attention and more relaxation into my genitals.

 

This kind of exercise creates sexual arousal.

 

And it feels amazing! As I keep noticing the warm, tingling, buzzing energy growing in my pussy, I allow myself to fully enjoy the pleasure. It doesn’t feel frustrating or like I need to do anything with it. I simply remain relaxed, breathing deeply and sending the energy up and out through my entire system.

 

After a while, my whole body feels nurtured, nourished, buzzing, alive…

 

And it’s the most delightful experience! Sometimes I’ll perform some tantric breathing techniques to consciously direct that arousal up my spine but at this stage the flow of energy feels quite natural and unrestricted all by itself. It’s like my arousal KNOWS where to go.

 

This kind of play is not just something I do in the car. I’ll do it while working on my computer, reading a book, talking to someone, meditating… Anywhere and anytime is fine. Every day and ideally – multiple times each day. It’s like an energetic boost to my system and to my mood!

 

In my sessions with male clients, I often find that they experience arousal as a frustration, a nuisance, a distraction, sometimes it can be even painful. And I find that erotic energy can feel this way when it remains in the genitals. You’ve probably heard of the “blue balls” phenomenon caused by unsatisfied sexual desire.

 

But it doesn’t have to be this way!

 

Men don’t have to suffer when their arousal cannot be released through ejaculation with the person they desire. They can actually look at a sexy woman, they can enjoy her form, feel excited by her… and channel that arousal into a full-body fulfilment!

 

They can walk away from her feeling nurtured by her beauty, not frustrated by it!

 

It’s not hard to move your arousal away from your genitals and to send it out into every cell of your being. It’s not hard to use it to create a state of deep internal aliveness and activation! Your body came equipped with everything you need to move and control your erotic charge – your breath, muscle control and placement of awareness are all you need to perform this task.

 

And if you want to learn more about tantric techniques of full-body bliss, check out my online course for men (Tantric Mastery) and for women (Orgasmic Empowerment).

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10 Things Most People Still Don’t Know About Anal Sex

10 Things Most People Still Don’t Know About Anal Sex

Most people in our society still have a lot of hangups around their anuses. We consider them dirty, shameful and anal touch – wrong and embarrassing. The truth is that the poor, disgraced anus is extremely nerve rich, making it a very sensitive spot, able to receive and enjoy a lot of pleasure.

 

Both men and women are capable of experiencing intense pleasure in their anal areas. However, in order to have a truly enjoyable experience, you need to be aware of the rules of anal touch and anal sex.

 

Dr. Jack Morin was an American pioneer in the field of anal pleasure, and over many years he had done a lot of marvellous work helping men and women reclaim erotic pleasure in their anuses and to heal the phenomenon of “genital hole” – a high degree of dissociation and numbness many people experience there. I learned a lot from him about anal touch and if you are interested in delving into this subject much deeper, you should definitely research his work.

 

Here is what you need to know in order to be successful in your anal play:

 

1/  No pain

Anal touch should never, ever hurt. If it does – you are doing it wrong. Anal sphincters are muscle rings located at the entrance of the anus which are meant to keep things moving out. If something is introduced from the outside (a finger, penis or a toy), these muscles will tense up in order to stop the intrusion. Instead of forcing items in, you need to massage the anus externally first, in order to relax the sphincters before the insertion.

 

2/  Lubrication

There is no natural lubrication in the anus so you always need to use a lubricant during anal play. I recommend coconut oil.

 

3/  Rectum

Past the anal sphincters, you will encounter the rectum. Faeces are not normally stored in there until just before the bowel movement. You can, however, encounter traces of faeces in there. If that is a problem for either of you, I recommend having an enema or using nitrile gloves for protection.

 

4/  What to use

For most couples, anal sex does not include using the penis. Instead, they prefer using fingers or toys. Oral stimulation of the anus is called rimming and can be a source of a lot of pleasure. Using vibrating toys externally or internally can add an exciting level of pleasure.

 

5/  Sexual health

There are health risks associated with anal contact and if you are worried about STI’s, make sure to use a barrier – a condom for insertion or a dental dam for rimming.

 

6/  Communication

Keep communicating during the experience. The person being penetrated always has the final say when it comes to the anal stimulation. Nothing should be inserted into the anus until the recipient of the touch is ready and keen. As soon as they say ‘stop’, this should be fully respected. The anus is a highly sensitive area and as such, it can be both a source of a lot of pleasure and a lot of pain. As soon as the pleasure turns into pain, all touch should stop.

 

7/  Prostate

Many men enjoy prostate stimulation. The prostate is located on the belly side of the rectum, about two knuckles in.

 

8/  Anal orgasms

It is possible to experience anal orgasms, even without any direct genital stimulation. In my experience, this is not very common but it does happen sometimes; particularly when the person being anally stimulated is not determined to have an orgasm, but rather is completely immersed in the moment and in the pleasure they are experiencing, without any goals or expectations.

 

9/  Toy safety

If you are using toys, make sure to pick the ones with a flared base as it is possible to lose items inside the anus.

 

10/  Anal tension

Due to a sedentary lifestyle, trauma or shame, many people hold chronic tension inside the anus which can make insertion difficult and uncomfortable. In such cases, I recommend gently inserting the tip of your own finger into the anus while in the shower or a bath and trying to consciously relax the anal sphincters. When done on a regular basis, this practice will allow you to enjoy anal stimulation much more.

 

If you are still feeling a bit uncertain about anal stimulation, I would definitely recommend using nitrile gloves. This can provide a level of comfort to both parties from the hygiene perspective, and also for the protection of the receiver as nails or hard skin can feel unpleasant against the soft tissue of the anal canal.

 

As long as you are keeping in mind the rules of anal sex, you are very likely to give your beloved a very beautiful, safe and even ecstatic experience of anal pleasure.

 

Above all, take your time, stay curious, keep checking in with them and use plenty of lubrication. You might even discover that your partner becomes open to the idea of anal intercourse if this is something they had been opposed to before!

– from “Legendary Lover: 6 Essential Steps to Having Great Sex” by Helena Nista

 

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How to Find & Pleasure Her G-spot

How to Find & Pleasure Her G-spot

When I first heard of the G-spot and the G-spot orgasms, I was still a teenager and the whole concept was covered with a layer of mystery. I knew it was somewhere inside my vaginal canal and I even tried to look for it with my fingers but failed to locate it. My G-spot remained elusive (if it was even a real thing!) for many more years…

 

According to many people, the G-spot holds the key to woman’s vaginal orgasms.

 

Vaginal (internal) orgasms provide us ladies with a very different experience than the more common clitoral climax. The internal O feels more profound, more expansive, more grounding… It seems to flow like waves through our entire bodies, immersing us in a bliss-like state… which is in quite a contrast with the more external, explosive and sharp clitoral peaks.

 

The sad truth is that many, many women don’t know where their own G-spot is. Or how powerful its potential for pleasure is! Many other women are familiar with their G-spots but the area can be very de-sensitized due to years of rough sex. This means that a lot of ladies will struggle to stimulate that spot in a pleasurable way or they might even feel like there’s not a lot of sensation there. So if even women are confused about their G-spots, what chance of success do men have?

 

Where is the G-spot?

 

It’s not really a spot but more an area and it’s located on the upper wall of the vagina, close behind the vaginal entrance.

 

How to find it?

 

Insert a finger into the vaginal canal about two knuckles in. Press the pads of your fingers up towards her belly and start exploring. You’ll notice that the skin texture there is quite different than the rest of her vaginal canal. The vaginal walls are pretty smooth but the G-spot feels more like the roof of your mouth. The ridges will typically become even more pronounced when the woman is aroused.

 

How to stimulate the G-spot?

 

This is where all the fun begins… All women are different and like different things but here are a few techniques to start you off on this exploration adventure:

 

1/ Circles

Massage the G-spot with your fingers in a circular motion. Vary speed and pressure. Keep asking for her feedback to figure out what kind of touch works best for her.

 

2/ Come-hither motion

Insert a finger, press it into the G-spot and slowly pull it out, allowing it to glide over the whole area. It should feel like as if you were dragging a coin off of the table.

Vary speed and pressure. Try two or even three fingers. Keep asking for feedback.

 

3/ Pressing in

Place your finger on the G-spot and push into it. Keep communicating with her to find the best level of pressure. After a few moment, move your finger to a different location (within the same area) and repeat. Keep repeating until you find all the most yummy spots.

Remember that even a tiny difference in the placement of your finger can make a huge difference to her pleasure!

 

4/ Toys

There is a whole range of dildos and specifically shaped G-spot massagers out there. They can be a lot of fun to play with!

And if you’re on a budget, you can use a cucumber but make sure that it’s peeled and smooth. Also, ask your lady if she has a preference for a particular vegetable.

 

5/ Penetration

The good old missionary position isn’t typically great for stimulating the G-spot but there are other great options:

– modified missionary – the woman puts a few pillows under her butt and keeps her feet flat on the bed,

– woman on top – man is lying on his back, woman lowers herself onto his penis, BUT she needs to lean back, this way she can position herself pretty well for some G-spot action,

– reverse cowgirl – this is still woman on top but here she’s facing her lover’s feet instead of his head,

– from behind – not quite the doggy style because the woman lies down on her belly with her legs together while her lover enters her from behind.

 

Make sure to experiment with all these positions, looking for the best angle, pressure and speed. And make sure to be playful about the whole experience! Nothing kills the erotic fun more quickly than treating it like a chore.

 

This is an invitation to start exploring the mysterious G-spot and learning more about it.

 

The more familiar we are with our (and our partner’s) genital anatomy, the better we can navigate our way around it and the more pleasure we can give and receive.

 

So let’s start exploring!

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