About Full-Body Orgasms

About Full-Body Orgasms

Recently I gave an interview where one of the questions asked was “what is a full-body orgasm?”. As this is something I hear very often AND just in case you were also wondering, let me tell you a little story from my life…

 

One of my first full-body orgasms happened when I was driving my car.

 

I was exercising my PC muscle (aka doing kegels) while breathing my erotic energy up and down my spine. I felt good, happy and excited about life. I was listening to some of my favourite songs and I was looking around at the beautiful nature, feeling joyful and satisfied with life. Suddenly an amazing orgasmic tingling sensation started travelling through my body. As I kept breathing, waves of orgasmic energy started rolling through my system and I kept fuelling them with my breath. As soon as they would decrease in intensity, I would concentrate again on deep breaths in order to keep the wonderful feeling going. This entire orgasmic experience lasted about 20 minutes.

Since that experience, I’ve been giving myself orgasms regularly using just my breath. This ability had also shifted my relationship with clitoral orgasms as they now seemed way too quick, sharp and somehow unsatisfying in most cases. They just couldn’t compare to riding orgasmic waves for minutes or hours. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with clitoral stimulation because there isn’t and I do enjoy it tremendously! But in most cases I use it to give my sexual energy a boost and not as the only means of achieving an orgasm.

 

At that point of my life, I also started questioning the definition of orgasm as a purely genital experience.

 

After doing a bit of research, I found out that Tantra recognizes many, many different types of orgasms (as opposed to just genital orgasms) and that the description of this experience is much broader than what we’re used to in the Western world. According to Tantric teachings, an orgasm is a release or movement of energy in the body. It usually comes with a feeling of being high on life, on an emotion (happiness, gratitude, but also anger, sadness, etc.). A full-body orgasm can be experienced pretty much anytime and anywhere and can be triggered by a beautiful sunset, feeling of love, taste of chocolate, etc. This kind of sensation is much different than a peak, clitoral orgasm as it involves your entire body and lasts much, much longer.

And even more to the point – full-body orgasms can be experienced with a lover. They’re not limited to people with certain skills, body type or level of consciousness. Everybody, regardless of their gender, age or sexual experience, can ride orgasmic waves during sex and in fact, it’s one of the best opportunities to do so.

The reason why I started here with a story of a self-induced (and breath-induced) full-body orgasm is simply that once you can experience them on your own, you can easily have them with a partner.

 

Yes, it all starts with you!

 

A prerequisite of a tantric orgasm is being present and that means being fully in the moment, mindful of one’s body and sensations. These days we’re rarely truly present as we keep worrying about the future or the past. As a result, the present moment gets very little attention. Stressed about what happened during the day or making plans for the future, we rarely find the time to simply observe the current moment. We miss out on all the joy of mindfully appreciating that cappuccino or a conversation with a friend. The mind always racing, we barely ever experience a peaceful moment of acknowledgement or gratitude.

And it’s in those gentle moments of calm mind and open spirit that we find most beauty, joy and wonder. As you watch the world around you with glittering eyes and quiet appreciation, simply allow your energy to travel up and down your body with relaxed muscles and a full abdominal breath. As you clear more and more energetic blockages in your body, you’ll find yourself tingling more and more with deep, orgasmic sensations.

 

And this is exactly what happened to me in the car…

 

I was fully present in the moment, simply observing the world around me and listening to the music, happy and completely stress free. My body was relaxed and open, my mind was calm and present. Life felt amazing! And then the orgasm came.

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Have You Had Your Sungasm Yet?

Have You Had Your Sungasm Yet?

What answer would you give me if I asked you: “Can you feel your body?”

Would it be: “Yes, of course!” or would you stop to really think about it?

 

What if I told you that you’ve forgotten how to actually feel your body?

 

And that if you were really feeling it, you’d be in a mild (or not so mild) ecstatic state every time you took a deep breath? Every time you experienced warm breeze on your skin? Every time sun kissed your face?…

 

But if you have been following me for a while and you haven’t had your sun-gasm yet, we still have more work to do here 😉

 

I often joke that in my sessions, I teach people how to feel.

 

But in many cases, that’s exactly what happens. A lot of people come to me to learn to experience better, stronger orgasms, to become multi-orgasmic or to master the art of full-body ecstasy. And everybody’s journey towards these experiences is different and unique. But it ALWAYS involves developing more sensitivity and more awareness of the subtlest sensations.

 

This process is not complicated or difficult. It simply takes time. Whatever you pay attention to, becomes stronger. Wherever your awareness flows, grows and expands. If you spend some time daily connecting to your sensory receptors, the neural connections between your brain and your pleasure will get stronger.

 

That’s the magic of human body – it always keeps adapting and changing.

 

It’s never still, it’s a process that keeps happening. And you can consciously affect this ‘becoming’.

 

The science of neuroplasticity tells us that neurons that fire together, wire together. That means that if you often feel grumpy upon waking up early, you’re linking the experience of early morning with a bad mood. If you often whinge about bad traffic, you’re wiring being in the car with having a horrible experience. And if you’re often getting stuck in your head during sex, you’re disconnecting yourself from the delicious pleasure in your body AND your full orgasmic potential.

 

There’s good news – this process is fully reversible.

 

You can completely turn around your relationship with your body, your genitals, your pleasure and the full depth of your orgasms. And this means teaching your nervous system how to feel again, how to feel better and deeper.

 

You need to learn how to feel things in your body that you may have never felt before – the flow of breath through your system, your muscles relaxing and contracting, the blood flowing through your veins, your heartbeat, the touch of clothes on your skin, the pressure of furniture underneath you, energetic flows and blockages manifesting as subtle sensations, the sense of aliveness just underneath your skin, temperature changes in and outside of your body and much, much more.

 

Exercise:

 

The best way to start is to spend 5 minutes (or longer) every day on a simple activity – feeling. This is a completely uninterrupted time – just you and your body. Make sure to sit or lie down comfortably, close your eyes and slightly deepen your breathing. Once you’re feeling relaxed, start slowly scanning your entire body. You don’t need to make anything happen, just look for sensations. Be curious but don’t form any specific expectations. Allow your body to surprise you.

 

When performed regularly, this exercise will start to completely alter your connection with your body. You’ll start to strengthen the existing and form new neural connections between your brain and your pleasure. You’ll start experiencing new types of sensations and your pleasure will gain new depth and new layers to it. You won’t believe that you’d ever been able to experience sexual satisfaction before!

 

This new level of sensitivity will open up a completely new landscape of sensuality, eroticism and orgasmic potential for you. Will you give it a go? I hope so!

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5 Steps to a Better Masturbation Practice

5 Steps to a Better Masturbation Practice

I recently got a very interesting question from one of my readers:

“Do you think I could learn on my own to be the lover I crave to make love to? Or is it ultimately only possible to experience sacred sex with another?

I want to do everything in my power to free myself from all that inhibits me sexually and to experience deep love and pleasure but I’m not in a position to do that with a lover.”

 

Social stigma

For different reasons, many people in our society are not able to connect intimately with others at one time or another in their lives. This should never be a reason to put your sexual practice on hold! In fact, your self-pleasuring practice is the most primary form of sexual expression.

Our society seems to indicate to us that masturbation is only for people between relationships, older or incapacitated people, or maybe some desperate individuals. This unfortunately creates a level of stigma around self-touch and stops us from embracing it as a healthy and valid form of sexual practice.

 

Training your pleasure

I believe that this conditioning is actually really hurting our sex lives. I believe that creating a beautiful and profoundly ecstatic self-pleasuring practice can really support you in becoming a wonderful lover to another person.

I spend a big chunk of my sessions on masturbation coaching. I consider it absolutely crucial for embracing our pleasure and awakening our full orgasmic potential.

We watch movies and porn that show us people in moments of deep ecstasy and pleasure. So we aspire to similar experiences in our own bedrooms. But the body needs training in order to become fully orgasmic. You need to teach yourself pleasure before you can have your mind blown on a regular basis with a lover.

 

Self-pleasuring better

So here are my 5 steps to a more embodied and more profound masturbation practice:

 

1/ Set an intention

This is an important one. An intention creates your experience, it’s a bridge between now and the future. Don’t just go with whatever happens – consciously create your pleasure!

What would you like to achieve through your self-touch today? Would you like to explore new erogenous zones on your body? Would you like to last half an hour before coming? Would you like to feel more love and compassion in your body? Or maybe bring more sensations to areas that feel a bit numb?…

 

2/ Awaken your entire body

Now it’s time to connect with your whole physical system. You can do this through movement (dancing, shaking, yoga, stretching, etc.) or through touch by giving yourself a loving full body massage. Feel free to spend as little or as much time on this step as you need. At the end you should feel vibrant and alive from head to toe.

 

3/ Use your breath consciously

Keep taking deep, full breaths throughout the entire session.

When we get aroused, we tend to shorten and constrict our breathing. This locks sexual pleasure in one spot, usually our genitals. If you want to have a more expanded, powerful experience, breathe deeply in order to allow that erotic charge to travel up and down your entire body.

 

4/ Slow down

Another very important tip!

As you’re stroking your favourite erogenous zones, take your time. Do not rush to the finish line. Keep breathing deeply, allowing the delicious sensations to keep spreading through your entire system.

And remember – the longer you hold off before the big O, the more intense it will be!

 

5/ Integrate

After climax, don’t rush off anywhere, just stay where you are.

Allow yourself a few minutes to relax and feel your entire body as all the pleasure hormones are happily travelling through your system. These few minutes at the end are crucial to teach your body about bliss. This is when your brain is working hard, creating all the new neural connections, learning from this experience so that next time you can go even deeper.

 

To learn more about sacred masturbation practices, check out my online courses:

Legendary Lover for Men

Orgasmic Empowerment for Women

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3 Amazing Benefits of Sleeping Naked

3 Amazing Benefits of Sleeping Naked

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE sleeping naked! I love to feel the softness of the sheets against my skin, I love the ease of access to different body parts that I can stroke or caress, I love the heightened sensations I experience all over my body. And when my beloved is in bed with me, I LOVE being held by him and touching his skin.

 

But it hasn’t always been this way

When I was growing up, I learned that sleeping naked was inappropriate and that I always needed a layer of fabric between me and the world, even when I was in bed alone. I learned that different body parts were wrong or shameful and that they always needed to be covered. And I learned to feel guilt and embarrassment if too much of my skin was ever accidentally exposed in front of someone else.

 

Even in our sleep we’re not allowed to have a relationship with our body

All these negative messages about sex, nudity and pleasure sink deep into our consciousness. It seems that even in our sleep we’re not allowed to have a relationship with our body. This in turn can create a profound disconnection from our senses, our pleasure and our eroticism.

So if you’re struggling with shame in sex or if you feel like you’re not feeling a lot of pleasure, this might be because you’ve disowned your sexuality or that you don’t feel comfortable with your naked body. When we’re not comfortable with nudity and particularly with our genitals, we simply cannot fully feel our bodies.

 

So here are 3 wonderful benefits that you’ll enjoy when sleeping naked:

 

1 Deeper sleep

Taking your clothes off when going to bed means that your body is able to naturally cool down. This is an important aspect of the circadian rhythm, which is a natural system that informs our bodies when it’s time to sleep. This means not only that you’ll be able to fall asleep quicker, but also that the quality of your sleep will be much better.

 

2 Better health

A deeper sleep has a vast range of health benefits – better skin, faster healing times, lower stress levels, healthier heart… It even boosts your calorie-burning ability which means remaining slimmer!

Sleeping naked is also beneficial for our intimate parts. Yeast infections like warm, moist places so going commando allows your private parts to get plenty of air. It also promotes a healthy sperm count in men since the testicles can remain cool enough for optimal sperm health.

 

3 Better relationship with your sexuality

Time spent naked helps us develop a more connected relationship with our skin, our sensuality and our eroticism. Clothes simply create a barrier that separates you from your body and de-sensitizes your experience of touch and pleasure.

 

 

What you don’t like, you disconnect from

So if sleeping naked is new for you, this might be a wonderful time to give it a go. And when you do, stay present with your experience – are you noticing feelings of shame, discomfort or awkwardness? or are you feeling delight, pleasure and relaxation? And what is your body experiencing? How is your skin reacting to this new experience?

 

If this feels tricky, take it slow and don’t judge yourself

Awakening your senses fully can take a bit of time but it’s ALWAYS worth it.

 

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3 Things that Will Make You an Exceptional Lover

3 Things that Will Make You an Exceptional Lover

I speak to a lot of people who want to be great lovers, both men and women.

I find that men can feel particularly inadequate or ashamed if they struggle to give their partners a wonderful experience in the bedroom. It seems that “being a man” means, among other things – being a fantastic lover, being able to pleasure and satisfy a woman sexually every time. But sex for most of us is no simple matter and a lot of different factors can affect our erotic experience.

Plus, women also face struggles in the bedroom, hence the popularity of sex tips and advice in Cosmo and other magazines. Unfortunately, this kind of articles only offer superficial and often contradictory advice. They focus on strokes and techniques that can be helpful but don’t address deeper, more meaningful needs and desires that we experience between the sheets.

And today I want to address this. Watch my video to learn about 3 powerful things that will help anybody become an exceptional lover.


The video content:

We all want to be amazing lovers and create an exceptional experience between the sheets, both for ourselves and our partners. But in the world where superficial sexual advice is abundant, we all can get a bit confused with all the contradictory tips from Cosmo and other magazines. So today I’m going to tell you about 3 powerful secrets of the lovemaking art that not many people know about.

1 YOU LOVE TO TEASE

You are versed in the art of teasing. You take your time and play your partner’s body like an instrument. You know how to take them into heights of pleasure but you’re in no rush to get anywhere. You stroke and caress to build arousal and to entice desire. But you also know the sweet torture of keeping your partner on the edge and not quite getting them there.

You know that an orgasm is not only about the destination but mostly about the journey. You are very aware that the best pleasure and orgasms happen NOT when you get there quickly but when you take your sweet time and bring your partner there slowly.

2 IT’S NOT ABOUT PERFORMANCE

You’re curious about sex and you maybe even study and master different techniques, strokes and practices. But deep down you know that exceptional sex is not about your performance or about any particular technique but about the experience itself. So in every moment you remain present – present in your own body, noticing your own sensations and pleasure and also present with your partner, tuning in and feeling into them and their pleasure.

You are aware that your bodies have an inner wisdom and that following that wisdom will guide you better than any sex manual or scripted performance. You watch out for your partner’s response, you watch their breath, muscle tension, their sounds and reactions. And you allow their body to guide your touch, pace and movement.

3 YOU ENJOY YOURSELF

You genuinely have a wonderful time in bed! Whether you’re giving or receiving, you know that touch is always two-directional and you delight in every little stroke and caress. You touch with awareness, with feeling. There is nothing automatic, mechanical or absent-minded about your lovemaking. In every moment you’re tuned in and you find delight in the responses of your own body and the responses of your partner.

You’re engaged, you’re keen and you genuinely want to be there. Your lovemaking is always intentional. And by that I mean that you don’t just go with the flow. You create the flow! You intend to have an amazing time, you intend to enjoy and give mind-blowing pleasure and you treat sex as a conscious practice.

And now I want to hear from you! What makes an exceptional lover in your experience? Please share in the comments below because I’d love to hear from you.

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How to Have Slow Sex & Stronger Orgasms

How to Have Slow Sex & Stronger Orgasms

Have you ever heard of slow sex? What comes to mind when you hear these words together? Slow – sex… What kind of scenes do you see when you picture it in your head? Can you even picture it?

When I first heard of this notion about 5 years ago, I was shocked and surprised. In my mind, these two words did not belong together. It sounded like a contradiction.

And I was sure as hell that I had never experienced it. For many, many years of my life up to that point, sex was always fast and frantic. Full of excitement, friction and rush. With foreplay almost non-existent since there was no point in wasting time on anything else than the main event – penetration. And even while my lover was inside me, it was all about thrusting, building up energy and arousal, until he finished in an ejaculation.

So discovering slow sex was quite challenging at first since it questioned everything I knew about sex up to that point. But it also brought unexpected rewards and delights.

Watch my video to learn more and then make sure to play with the principles of slow sex yourself. Or maybe you’ve already experienced it in your relationships?

 


 
P.S. Let me know your initial reaction to the idea of slow sex. And whether you’re planning to give it a go in your own bedroom!
 
Video content:
Slowing down and taking your time is a huge part of having a satisfying sex life. But most people are strongly conditioned for fast friction and chasing the orgasm. Would you like to learn how slowing down can revolutionize your sex life and create more pleasure and stronger intimacy?

I first learned about the notion of slow sex about 5 years ago. I was reading a book by Diana Richardson called “Slow sex” and at the time her ideas completely confused me and even scared me! Because after all, what was left in sex if you took away all the fast friction, all the excitement and all the animalistic passion? I couldn’t understand what slowing down was supposed to bring to the lovemaking.

As you can probably tell, my sex life back then was pretty mediocre, and the sex itself was based more on ideas found in porn than in bedrooms of real, loving, intimate couples. It took me a while to learn that really mind-blowing sex isn’t just about friction but more about a heart connection, about sensitivity and sensual touch, about profound pleasure, about breathing together and feeling the erotic energy in your body, enjoying the arousal building up, cherishing the togetherness, and about having a very special, magical, intimate time with your lover.

Taking your time is a huge part of deeply satisfying sex. In conventional bedrooms, people tend to race towards orgasm, creating a lot of friction and excitement to reach that end goal. It also seems that the whole sexual experience is rated by that orgasm – was it reached (which indicates success) and how strong it was. And when the orgasm didn’t happen, we somehow end up disappointed and frustrated.

And it’s actually a bit sad when we make sex only about that race to orgasm. Because it is about so much more! And when we slow down, we can actually pay attention to other aspects of our lovemaking. We can open up our hearts to each other. We can awaken deep sensitivity within our bodies, using gentle, slow touch. We can create a meaningful container for our love which turns sex into a magical ritual of loving connection, pleasure and fun.

And for all the more daring lovers, a more advanced challenge is to actually introduce stillness in their bedrooms. This is something that not many people have ever heard about and ever tried. But stopping all movement in the middle of sex is magic! Because when you’re aroused, when you’re enjoying a sexual connection with your partner, when your naked body is pressed against theirs and your entire system is activated and turned-on, there is a world of sensations happening inside of you. And when you stop and feel, you can fully notice it all.

When you slow down or even stop, you’re also much more relaxed. And in a relaxed body, sexual energy can travel more freely, creating a more expanded experience of erotic energy and orgasms in your body. When you’re rushing, your body is constricted and the orgasms can only happen in your genital region. But when you relax, that sexual energy can travel much further, creating pleasure that flows and ripples through your entire system.

So next time you’re making love, slow down and take your time. Become really present with yourself first, with your own body and your own senses, and then also with your partner, enjoying your connection, touching each other slowly. It’s as if you were discovering each other’s body, stroking their skin with curiosity, exploring pleasure in all sorts of different ways, and forms.

You can play with different types of touch, different levels of pressure, touching different areas that maybe you haven’t given a lot of attention before. Using props, using your breath, breathing consciously brings a whole new level of pleasure into sex. Give yourself a full permission to experiment, to explore and to fully delve into your sexuality and your sensuality.

And please let me know what your first reaction to slow sex is! Is this idea completely new to you or have you heard of it before? Are you sure that it would never work for you or are you curious and ready to try? I look forward to hearing from you!

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