The Mask I Wear is One

The Mask I Wear is One

I was recently listening to one of my all-time favourite songs of Sting – “Shape of My Heart” – if you don’t know it, put it on now! And if you do know it, put it on anyway 😊

 

In the song, he sings:
“I’m not a man of too many faces,
The mask I wear is one.”

 

This verse really stopped me in my tracks. I love how much vulnerability he put into these few words. Simple truth, yet so disturbing… He only shows one face to the world… yet it is masked.

 

Uncovering your mask

 

It brings to mind an exercise I did some time ago. It involved a pen and an A4 piece of paper. On the paper, I drew a mask – an empty outline of a human face. Then I cut it out so it looked like a real mask.

 

On the outer side of the mask – the side facing the world – I wrote all the words that described the face that I was showing the world – ‘confident’, ‘happy’, ‘outgoing’, ‘relaxed’, ‘in control’, ‘smart’, ‘professional’, ‘courageous’, ‘funny’,…

 

On the inner side of the mask – the side facing my face – I wrote everything that I was hiding behind the mask: ‘vulnerability’, ‘fear’, ‘self-doubt’, ‘sadness’, ‘loneliness’, ‘feeling inadequate’, ‘feeling not enough’, ‘anxiety’,…

 

New insights

 

Performing this exercise was deeply insightful. It made me a little sad but also a little more open to the idea of taking off the mask. After all, why do I actually need to hide the real, authentic me?… Why can’t I carry out in the open these deeply hidden gems of my human nature?…

Tell me, what would YOU write on the inside of your mask?
What are YOU anxiously hiding from the world?

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My Precious Insecurities

My Precious Insecurities

Recently, I had a very powerful conversation with a friend. He let me talk about all the most vulnerable, raw and honest parts of myself. At times, he offered a few words of insight or a clarifying question. Other than that, he just listened to me share about my insecurities, fears, anxieties, hopes, desires and more. At the end of that conversation I cried. I cried because I clearly saw how much shame I was still experiencing around who I was. And at the end of that sharing, I was finally able to embrace lovingly all the dark, scared, sore, lonely and human parts of myself…

 

You see… I had done a lot of hiding in my life.

 

I spent my childhood trying to hide how scared I was most of the time. I spent my teenage years trying to hide that I was awkward and shy. I spent my university years trying to hide that I wasn’t a party girl. I spent many of my relationships hiding that I didn’t know anything about sex. And I spent most of my adult years hiding that I was a nerdy introvert, that I used to have serious anxiety attacks about money and that sometimes I felt very lonely.

 

A lot of these things made me feel like a loser so I kept pretending to be an outgoing, social, happy girl. Whenever I shared accommodation in my 20s, I always made plans to go out at weekends – not because I always wanted to be out but mostly because the thought of having to tell someone on Monday morning that I hadn’t done anything fun was unbearable.

 

The journey of slowly reclaiming and learning to accept and love myself – just as I am – has been long.

 

Thanks to tantric philosophy, I slowly began digging out my authentic self from underneath a huge pile of pretence, act and masks. It took a while to actually find the real me because I’d been hiding her so well for so many years.

 

At times, I wondered who Helena actually was… And whether I would ever find out.

 

These days, I don’t hide anymore. I have made a huge progress on the path of self-discovery, self-acceptance and ultimately – self-love. I perceive all of my experiences as precious, beautiful and natural. And do you know why? Because they’re all human. And because I’m a human. And because as a human being, I’m meant to feel these things.

 

Anger? Bring it on! Fear? I can handle it. Frustration? I’ll take it. Anxiety? Uhmmm, sure!

 

I don’t dwell in these energies but I don’t reject them either. If they come, I welcome them without judgement, I experience them with curiosity and I allow them to pass. In my sessions, I have witnessed a lot of people fighting their human experiences, trying to get over them quickly and ban them from their lives.

 

But you can’t ban a part of yourself.

 

Because these experiences that we dread, worry about and regret – they’re here to stay. So you might as well accept and welcome them. That’s exactly what I am doing and it’s working great for me! After so many years of hiding and denial, I’m actually truly fascinated by my human experience – with all of its rawness, fragility and depth. Sometimes my anger gets the better of me, sometimes I struggle and sometimes I fall. But that’s ok as well, it’s just a part of this beautiful human ride.

 

Because after all, I AM HUMAN. And that’s ok.

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5 Steps to Deepen Your Orgasms with a Crystal Dildo

5 Steps to Deepen Your Orgasms with a Crystal Dildo

When I first heard of crystal dildos, I was intrigued but also apprehensive. The idea of putting stone objects in my vagina was so foreign to me at that stage, that I had no idea what to make of it. But the promises of cervical orgasms and sexual healing were too tempting for me to pass on that opportunity.

 

Fast forward 5 years and now I have not only used crystal wands – I am a proud owner of a lovely collection of wands and eggs and I’ve had amazing results to support this practice! Within a few weeks of committed practice, I awakened my vaginal canal to the point where I started to experience amazing G-spot orgasms. I re-sensitized and activated my cervix, allowing me to feel profound pleasure and to reach cervical orgasms. I also created a deep awareness of my entire genital area, helping me to sense and enjoy pleasure in new and even surprising ways.

 

If all that sounds intriguing, I do invite you to consider if a crystal wand practice is something you might bring into your bedroom.

 

Watch my video to learn if a crystal dildo is right for you!

 

 

PS. If you’re keen to get your own Black Obsidian Wand, make sure to visit GoddessWands.com. And use the coupon code ‘HELENA’ to claim your 15% discount on any item available in the store! I’m looking forward to hearing about your experiences with crystal wands 🙂 xxx

 

Video content:

I’ve been using crystal wands and vaginal eggs for a number of years now and I get a lot of questions about them from my friends and clients. A lot of women wonder what these crystals can do for them, whether they can help them in any way and whether they’re safe to use. Which is why I decided to give you a sneak peek into my bedroom practice so that you can decide for yourself whether a crystal dildo might be for you!

I recently added a new crystal toy to my naughty drawer which I’m extremely excited about. And this is something I really wanted to share with you because I have never played with black obsidian before. I have mostly used rose quartz, jade and tachyon but never black obsidian. And this is significant because different types of crystals have very different properties which is the first things you need to pay attention to when choosing a pleasure wand.

I felt really attracted to this stone because it clears unwanted energies, supports sexual healing, provides protection and helps you release anything that no longer serves you. And that is EXACTLY what a lot of women need in our society – releasing years of shame, trauma, pain and abuse from their vaginas.

I personally had experienced a lot pain during intercourse, I experienced sexual abuse and even rape in my life. And even though I’ve healed a lot of that over the years, I know that any woman can always go deeper into her healing and into reclaiming her full sexual potential and pleasure power! So let me tell you what you can do with this gorgeous wand!

 

Step 1 – Breathe and ground

I always start my self-pleasuring practice with deep, abdominal breaths. This grounds me in my body and gets me out of my head. It helps me to feel embodied and connected to my senses. I like to also gently stroke my skin all over, to bring that sense of aliveness and vibrancy into my entire system.

 

Step 2 – Yoni connection

Next I connect to my genital area. I usually do that by placing one hand on top of my vulva. It feels like an invitation. I’m not going inside just yet. I’m just asking my intimate parts whether it’s ok to enter, whether my body is happy to play sexually. While I hold my vulva, I keep breathing deeply, relaxing my body and creating a sense of safety which is much needed in any healing practice.

 

Step 3 – Yoni strokes

Next I start caressing my vulva, just externally at this stage. I like to use a high quality lubricant and I play with different strokes, to activate my sex centre and open up my body to pleasure and arousal.

 

Step 4 – The crystal wand

At this stage, I’m ready and open, my body feels relaxed and prepared to accept the internal touch. This is when I lubricate the wand and insert it into my vagina, really slowly and gently. It’s not about pushing the wand in, it’s about my body accepting the dildo and sort of pulling it inside.

I really encourage you to try this! Simply place the wand at the entrance of your vagina and breathe. Allow yourself to fully feel the cold touch of the stone. As you breathe, allow your genital area to relax completely, and see what happens! I usually experience a sort of heat and desire, like my vagina is pulling the dildo in. And it feels delicious!

Once the wand is in, you have a few options: you can just hold it inside, breathe and notice the sensations. Or if you’re struggling to feel anything, you can gently move or tap the wand to create a bit of movement. I like to gently tap the end of the wand, which gives me a bit of friction and much more sensation in my vaginal canal. And you can also add external stroking of your vulva and your clitoris.

I usually like to play with all of these options and it feels truly amazing. You should feel arousal, pleasure and deep awareness of your entire genital area. When I do this, my entire vaginal canal feels alive, open, relaxed and activated. There truly is magic in using a wand because it activates nerve endings and muscles that you didn’t even know existed. It feels like there’s a wealth of pleasure sensations and aliveness in there. All the way in, not just near the entrance but all the way up to the cervix.

And this is really powerful because a lot of women experience a lot of numbness in their vaginas. After years of using vibrators or experiencing fast, hard thrusting by their partners, they develop numbness or even discomfort. This is why so few women orgasm during intercourse.

 

Step 5 – Integration

During this practice, you can choose to orgasm or not. But in either case, it’s very important to finish with a few minutes of integration. That means lying on your back, fully relaxed, breathing in a conscious, slow way. This gives the body a chance to integrate all these new sensations and pleasure and to re-train the nervous system in order to help your vagina feel much more in the future.

 

So my verdict for my new black obsidian pleasure wand is both thumbs up! And if you’d like to get your own, please do proper research and seek recommendation. It’s very important to buy from a reliable supplier. I got my wand from Goddess Wands at goddesswands.com. Before filming this video, I actually had a chat with the owner of Goddess Wands and she graciously granted all my viewers a discount on the wands – the coupon code is ‘HELENA’.

Another reason why I felt good choosing this online store is that when you order your wand, Goddess Wands donate $5 from each sold wand to Little Warriors, a Canadian charity that helps kids heal from sexual abuse and educates adults and caregivers to prevent it. So this gorgeous crystal will not only make your vagina feel great, it will contribute to a much needed change in the world!

 

If you feel like your pussy is in a need of some healing and deeper sensitivity, get your own black obsidian pleasure wand and let me know in the comments how you go with it. Or maybe you’ve already played with one before in which case I’d love to hear about your experience!

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The Mask I Wear is One

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4 Steps to De-Armour Your Vagina for Stronger Orgasms

4 Steps to De-Armour Your Vagina for Stronger Orgasms

When I heard of vaginal de-armouring for the first time in my life, I was desperate. I had wanted to learn to orgasm during sex or at least to experience intercourse as pleasurable for a long time. But despite all my efforts, nothing was working and I felt stuck. Actually, I felt more than stuck, I felt broken and inadequate. Everybody else seemed to enjoy their eroticism but me.

I kept asking – why?! Why me? Why is this happening? Why can’t I be like others?

But nobody was answering so I just did my best to keep the hope up while doing more research and going to more workshops and events.

When I came across de-armouring, it changed my life. My initial session was profound. I was crying, screaming, shaking but above all, I was finally healing. I was releasing stuck emotions, past trauma and all the wounding accumulated in my vagina over many, many years. I was letting go of a thick layer of numbness and pain from my genital area in order to get to the deeper, more sensitive and erotic realm.

During that session, I also experienced my first ever full-body orgasm and it felt like a true revelation! I was high for the next 24hrs, finally able to connect to my orgasmic potential, finally seeing the light in the tunnel of my sexuality.

Watch my today’s video to learn how de-armouring is done:

 

PS. Here are more details of the Orgasmic Empowerment course for women and if you’re interested in the Yoni Elixir, you can purchase it here.

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3 Things that are Stopping Your Sexual Pleasure

3 Things that are Stopping Your Sexual Pleasure

Are you selling yourself short when it comes to your eroticism?

For many, many years in my life and in my relationships, I felt doomed and depressed. I desperately wanted to be a great lover and to be a profoundly orgasmic woman. But whatever I tried, nothing seemed to be bringing me closer to that goal.

I studied magazines and browsed the internet looking for answers. I tried all possible tips and techniques I could find… and I still remained unorgasmic and frustrated.

Until I learned where I was cutting myself off of my full erotic potential.

A lot of people I speak to tell me that they struggle to experience as much pleasure and orgasmic energy during sex as they’d like. They’re usually not sure what they actually want, need or desire in bed. Others feel like they experience serious blockages in their intimacy and have no idea what to do about them.

The truth is that we all have been subjected to conditioning and messages that limit our sexual experience. These messages often sit deeply in our subconscious and we’re unable to do anything about them unless we bring them out to the light first.

Many others have been subjected to treatment which can be impacting them still years later! This is shocking and really sad. I have worked with clients who were so deeply wounded by something that happened 30 years earlier, that they still struggled to create satisfying experiences in the bedroom.

 

 

PS. If you’re aware of your sexual wounding and would love some support, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I provide 1on1 sessions where I support my clients in overcoming their sexual issues and creating the kind of sex lives that they desire.

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How Much Would You Pay for Hope

When Paul came to see me, he looked like a man who lost all hope. He seemed sceptical and very bitter about his sexual life. I could clearly see that he’d had his fair share of pain and disappointment.

 

Paul struggled with severe premature ejaculation. Not only he couldn’t last longer than a minute during sex but he also suffered crippling anxiety about his sexual performance. This anxiety kept him from interacting with women and creating a romantic relationship. The fear of her reaction and her judgment was more than he could handle so he’d been single (and lonely!) for a long time.

 

On top of all that, Paul had spent the last few years seeking help and had spent over $12,000 on pills and treatments that were meant to help – with no result. Let me say that again – HE SPENT OVER $12,000, paying for medication and treatment that was meant to help but didn’t…

 

I was horrified when I heard that! I am extremely angry with companies that capitalize on people’s insecurities and suffering. And this was a case of extreme fraud and abuse.

 

I NEVER direct my clients to take any tablets or medication. As a somatic sexologist, I know the power of conscious work with the body. My main tools are breath, muscle control and placement of awareness.

 

During the session, I taught Paul how to consciously work with his body and with his arousal. We spoke about his experiences and worked with the trauma stuck in his physical and energetic body. At the end of the session, I charged Paul my hourly rate and he went on his way.

 

Two weeks later I heard from him. He sounded like a new man! He was excited, joyful and extremely grateful. He’d been working with the exercises I gave him and he’d started seeing significant improvement in his performance.

 

After one session with me, he couldn’t thank me enough for turning his life around.

 

He reported feeling much more hopeful and excited about finally meeting a woman and creating a sexually fulfilling relationship.

 

WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR EXPERINCE EITHER USING TABLETS AND TREATMENTS OR BEING WITH SOMEONE WHO’S USED THEM?

 

And if you resonate with Paul’s experience and would like to explore whether my sessions are a good fit for you right now, book a free 15mins chat with me!

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