Mere weeks ago, we had no idea what a Coronavirus was. In early March I was still planning my workshops and events (yes, in person!) and filling my calendar with social get-togethers. I was popping into my favourite cafés for a brunch or coffee while looking forward...
Taboo of adult toys
I recently got some negative feedback and accusatory comments for a video I shared on YouTube.
The video was entitled “The Toys in My Naughty Drawer” and was created to inspire others to become more curious and daring in their self-pleasuring practice.
My goal was also to give others permission to talk about masturbation openly since I was courageous enough to share not only what I keep next to my bed but also what I do with each item.
In fact, I had a lot of fun showing and describing my pleasure collection, particularly so because I do play with a few unusual things.
But not everybody agreed with me and some people argued that masturbation was only for single or lonely people who were unable to enjoy any partner sex which, according to them, was clearly a higher level of a sexual activity.
They struggled to understand that I recommended self-touch not as a last resort but as a valid experience for people who also enjoy love-making with their partners.
Taboo of masturbation
I was also discussing the topic of my masturbation coaching with a client who is currently going through my Legendary Lover program.
Third step in the program deals with self-pleasuring and takes the longest to cover out of all the steps.
The reason for this is very simple – masturbation is our most basic form of sexual activity and the way we self-pleasure will determine the way we make love to others.
If you touch yourself in a quick, efficient way, focused on reaching a goal – that’s how you’ll have sex with your partner.
If you take your time, engage curiosity and concentrate on deepening pleasure and connection – your partner sex experiences will be enriched by that as well.
Why you need to self-pleasure
The better you know your body, erogenous zones and your pleasure potential, the better you can guide your partner to pleasure you.
Unfortunately, in our society most people don’t actually know what they want in bed and hence, are unable to ask for it.
We are all different and we all have different needs and desires.
These needs and desires can even change daily which can be very confusing to our partners, particularly if we don’t understand them ourselves.
Once we get to know our own bodies intimately, we can support each other in exploring our sensuality and pleasure.
Because it’s much better to give each other 5 minutes of what we really, really want than 30 minutes of what we THINK the other person wants.
2/ Pleasure training
Our bodies learn pleasure and can get better and better at it in the same way that your muscles get stronger and stronger as you keep going to the gym.
Self-pleasuring is a wonderful way to teach your body how to feel sexual pleasure and to train and condition yourself for a lifetime of orgasmic bliss and ecstasy.
Self-touch also allows us to overcome limiting beliefs, shame and guilt about our bodies.
Touching yourself slowly, mindfully, giving yourself a loving full-body massage will re-sensitize your skin and help you develop a deeper connection with your physical sensations and your erotic self.
Plus something that not many people are aware of – nobody can give you an orgasm, they can only support you in having one.
Whether you orgasm or not, depends on you only – your level of sensitivity, of connection with your body and any limiting beliefs in your head that might be inhibiting your orgasmic ability.
3/ It will make you happy
Yes, as simple as that – pleasure makes us happy, relaxed and content.
Awakening our sexual energy and feeling that deeply vibrant, ecstatic force flowing through our bodies charges us, energizes us and nurtures our bodies.
Orgasms cause a huge release of pleasure hormones and neurotransmitters that flood our system giving us more satisfaction, confidence and general wellbeing.
However, be aware that there are two different ways to orgasm – the explosive way which will deplete you and the implosive way which will nurture you.
Get in touch with me if you’d like to learn to orgasm like a pro and channel your ecstatic energy for rejuvenation, healing and virility!
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