How to Breathe Your Body Orgasmic

How to Breathe Your Body Orgasmic

I love prioritizing myself and my pleasure in my daily life. I love creating special time for self-care and self-pleasuring practices. And I do believe that we would be much happier as a society if everybody masturbated regularly and consciously. Feeling pleasure and nurturing the body with sexual energy on a regular basis allows us to be calmer, happier, more focused, creative and kinder to others.

 

The body and mind full of happy hormones result in a joyful, mindful and peaceful human being.

 

My usual practice starts with some physical movement in order to bring awareness to my body. Next I do a breathing practice and engage my pelvic floor muscle. After that I give my entire body a loving and gentle self-massage. Feeling the warmth and softness of my skin feels absolutely delightful and who does not love being caressed?! Some days the self-massage feels so good that I keep going for a long time. Other days, I only do it for a few minutes.

 

Next I start a breast and genital massage. An important aspect of this stage though is the fact that the orgasm is not the goal here. Simply feeling the pleasure and connecting to the body with love while circulating erotic energy throughout is what it is all about. I simply flow with my body. Sometimes I just massage myself until I am satisfied. Sometimes I stimulate a lot of sexual energy and then spread it through my entire body, allowing myself to feel nurtured and rejuvenated. Sometimes I take myself all the way to orgasm and then rest in a trance-like state dropping into a deep, blissful relaxation.

 

One day recently, I decided to have a non-genitally focused self-pleasuring session. You know, just for fun…

 

I deepened my breath, relaxed my body and became aware of my breathing. I kept drawing the breath all the way down to my belly, then releasing it in a slow, effortless exhale. Within a few breaths, I felt sensations moving through my chest and shoulders. Gentle, vibrating sensations.

 

I started engaging my pelvic floor muscle in order to enhance the flow of energy through my body. I continued the breathing for another while – sensing my physical body, relaxing and searching for sensations even deeper, under my skin.

 

Next, I started to gently caress my arms, one at a time, using feather-like strokes of my fingertips. I wondered why I was not feeling a lot of energy in my lower body and I placed my awareness there. I immediately noticed a delicious flow of energy flowing down through my legs.

 

I also started experiencing emotions.

 

First sadness, deep, almost grieving sadness. After a while it passed and my mood became more neutral. Few minutes later I was laughing out loud, full of joy. As that wave of emotion passed again, I experienced some more sadness.

 

I was simply allowing myself to feel all that came up in my body – physical sensations, bodily awareness, flow of life force energy, different emotions. I was not judging anything, not labelling it as positive or negative, not giving myself a hard time because of things I was experiencing…

 

As I started to wrap up my practice, my body felt deeply satisfied, pleasured and nurtured.

 

Using the breath to move our life force energy is the simplest tool to use, yet it is so very powerful. Of course it is not the only tool. But when used to its full potential, it will enhance and intensify any experience.

 

As a very smart person once said: “change the way you masturbate, change your life”.

 

And if you’re ready to change how you masturbate in order to bring much more pleasure, expansion, satisfaction and bliss to your self-touch routine, explore my Masturbation Coaching online program!

Until Sunday you can enrol in the full course at 50% off with coupon code ‘SelfLove’.

LEARN MORE

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10 Unexpected Benefits of Orgasm

10 Unexpected Benefits of Orgasm

On one hand, I feel like there’s absolutely no need to convince anyone that they should be having orgasms. I think that we’re all more or less aware that orgasms are yum, delicious and amazing! It feels so good to approach one, to have one and to come back to Earth after having one.

 

AND don’t get me started on the multiples!…

 

But on the other hand, I’m also aware of various struggles and frustrations people face in their bedrooms. Some don’t have a partner and are not interested in self-pleasuring, others live in sexless relationships, others still struggle with sexual trauma, wounding, shame or toxic beliefs. All these things will affect the quality and frequency of our erotic experiences and hence – of our orgasms.

 

So in case you do experience some resistance and need a gentle push to ensure your orgasmic life is alive and well, here are some unexpected benefits of the blissful climax:

 

1/ Weight loss

Orgasms increase your levels of CCK (cholecystokinin) which causes the release of digestive enzymes and bile, and acts as a hunger suppressant.

 

2/ Less stress & better mood

Oxytocin released during orgasm not only bonds you emotionally to your lover, it also combats the effects of cortisol in your body, lowering levels of stress and depression.

 

3/ More sex appeal

Regular sexual activity increases and optimises levels of estrogen and testosterone in women, which adds to their libido, improves their mood and creates more sex appeal. Men who orgasm often also enjoy higher levels of testosterone, adding to their strength, masculinity and wellbeing.

 

4/ Better sleep

Oxytocin and vasopressin (both released during orgasm) are involved in lowering the cortisol levels and controlling our circadian rhythm, helping us regulate the internal clock and sleep better.

 

5/ Improved social life

Numerous side effects of the oxytocin boost include improving your social skills and intuition, making you feel more social and trusting, and bonding better with others.

 

6/ Easier periods

Improved blood circulation to a woman’s pelvic area ensures higher levels of nutrients present, healthier tissues and supports a regular menstrual cycle.

 

7/ Better chances of getting pregnant

Women who orgasm during sex (after their partners do) retain more sperm. The increased oxytocin levels will also create healthier pregnancy and will help more women carry to term.

 

8/ Higher immunity

Orgasms boost infection-fighting cells which supports your body in fighting colds and flu.

 

9/ Higher life expectancy

According to studies conducted in Wales over the period of 10 years, people who orgasm regularly live longer than those who don’t. In fact, the difference is a mortality risk lowered by 50% which is quite amazing.

 

10/ More happiness

Although this one is pretty self-explanatory, the wellbeing caused by regular orgasms goes deeper than just an improved emotional state. Multiple chemical changes induced in the body during each orgasm affect your health in a myriad of ways, causing an improved wellbeing and a deeper general sense of life satisfaction.

 

International Masturbation Month is here so make sure to celebrate it with a lot of yummy orgasms! And if you’d like some new, exciting ideas to play with, you’re going to LOVE my Masturbation Coaching online course. It’s a 7-week journey for both men and women who want to expand their sexual and orgasmic potential through a masterful self-touch. This program is full to the brim of tips, techniques and practices that will train your body to open up erotically and experience completely new types of orgasm!

 

To celebrate the Masturbation Month, the entire course is available at 50% off with coupon code ‘SelfLove’.

Enrol today and begin your journey towards the fullness of your sexual, erotic and orgasmic potential!

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What is Tantra?

What is Tantra?

I still remember my very first Tantra workshop. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. All I knew was that my sex life sucked and that I needed to try something new. Tantra held no promises but I knew that it had something to do with extraordinary sexual experiences. And at that stage I was desperate enough to try anything.

Not long before that I was rushed to an emergency room due to extreme pain caused by intercourse. While my life was flashing before my eyes, I kept wondering whether I was dying or whether I’d done an irreparable damage to my pelvis. The physical pain was excruciating. But still nothing when compared to the wounds in my heart and soul.

Because you see, for many years prior, I was having conventional sex. And it often hurt. But what hurt even more was the depth of disconnect that I was experiencing between myself and my lover. As I watched him focus completely on pounding inside of me, I often wondered, where he’d gone. It felt like he’d disappeared to some kind of distant world of sexual pleasure that I had no access to. That I was never invited to.

To me, sex felt empty. A physical meeting of two sets of genitals that I was unable to derive any pleasure or satisfaction from. Unlike my partners, who seemed quite content, while falling asleep straight after. Something was missing but I had no idea what.

This continued for many years… until I came across Tantra. And once I started studying its philosophy, practices and rituals, there was no coming back for me. I finally found all the answers to my questions. I finally understood why sex felt so empty and uncomfortable before. And I finally learned how to change that.

So today I invite you to revisit the most fundamental principles of Tantra. And how they apply in the bedroom.

 

 

PS. If you share my fascination with Tantra, I invite you to explore it more fully in one of my online courses – Tantric Mastery for Men or Orgasmic Empowerment for Women.

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How to Breathe Your Body Orgasmic

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Tantra Breath

Tantra Breath

“When you really get the knack of enjoying breathing, it becomes absolutely divine”

– Diana Richardson.

I love this quote! Tantra teaches us to FEEL the present moment instead of thinking about it. Being in the present moment means paying full attention to what is happening in your body right now. Not to your ‘to do’ list, what you need to buy for dinner or what has happened at work that day. We have thousands of thoughts every day and breath helps us detach from them all. It helps us to deliciously hook into the present moment and to fully experience it.  It brings sensitivity and sensuality into our bodies which takes our lovemaking to a higher level of feeling and experiencing.

 

And breathing is so easy!

Start by paying attention to your own breath, the way it happens naturally. Do not try to control it, just observe it as it happens. Once you’re familiar with your breath, try to deepen it and slow it down. Draw the breath down to your tummy and feel it passing through your body. No need to use any complicated breathing techniques, just breathe and feel any sensations in the body caused by the passing air. Getting in touch with your body is a central concept in Tantra and it means slowing down your activities for that moment and becoming sensitive to your body. What does it feel like, where are you feeling it?

 

Feel and listen to your body and you might be surprised what it tells you!

In our modern society we all learn to shallow breathe, limiting the amazing effect the oxygen has on our bodies. This is caused by tension, stress, guilt, anxiety, etc. We do not nourish our bodies properly with oxygen and as a result they lack vitality. Deep slow breath can give us back radiance and strength that is our natural right! The more aware we are of our breath, the more we can enjoy it and the more receptive and sensual we can become. As you become more comfortable with deep breathing, try drawing the air all the way down to your genitals. This will open up your genital area and make it feel energized and awakened before your lover even touches you! So next time you get together with your partner, start by sitting down together for 10-15 minutes to prepare your body and mind. Turn your attention inward and feel your breath moving from your genitals all the way up to your head and then back down into your genitals. This will activate your sex energy and open your body up to your lover.

 

As you keep breathing this way during your lovemaking session, you will remain present with your body and mind, bringing more pleasure and sensitivity into your body.

It is also helpful to breathe through your mouth so that both you and your partner can hear you breathe. This will keep you both even more present in the moment and you might find yourselves breathing simultaneously. This means that you’re really tuned in together. You can achieve that by paying attention to both yourself and the body of your partner. However, make sure not to force it as the breath needs to be natural, effortless.

 

A similar thing happens when one person breathes in while the other one breathes out.

This creates a movement of energy between the bodies which deepens their sexual union. If you’re sitting up or lying down facing each other, imagine a movement of golden energy in a circle between your bodies. The golden energy moves from woman’s chest to men’s chest as she breathes out and he breathes in. The energy then travels down into his penis and out of it into her vagina as he breathes out and she breathes in. Then up to her heart again, etc. As you make love, keep your breath slow and relaxed.

We naturally start breathing faster as we approach orgasm, however, keeping that natural deep breath will allow your sexual energy to move more freely and abundantly in your bodies, creating much more intense experiences.

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How to Give Your Pleasure a Sound

How to Give Your Pleasure a Sound

The quiet man

As a part of my masturbation coaching sessions, I teach my clients to make sounds and to vocalize their pleasure.

Most men find this very challenging because of the social conditioning they’ve been exposed to over the years.

It doesn’t seem to be acceptable to be loud during sex in our modern world which is why huge majority of men are extremely quiet during sex.

Except for an occasional grunt as he ejaculates, you won’t really hear his pleasure in any way.

But making sounds is about much more than just showing off your experience – it actually deepens your pleasure and helps your sexual energy expand through your entire body.

 

Can we sound?

When I encourage men to make sounds as they masturbate, they usually tell me that they couldn’t do that because they have housemates/family members/kids/etc.

I then ask them: “Do you think that your housemates don’t know that you self-pleasure?”

We’re so scared to let anybody know that we’re having sex – with someone else or with ourselves.

I’ve many times had lovers place their hand over my mouth during sex in a desperate attempt to keep our lovemaking quiet, discreet.

But I do wonder – what’s so terrible about letting people know that you’re enjoying yourself?

Why is it so terribly inappropriate to let anybody hear you while you’re losing yourself in the depths of intense pleasure?

I once shared an apartment with two gay gentlemen; they were trying to be discreet but the walls were thin…

Oh boy, these guys had a lot of sex and I always smiled amused as I heard them in their bedroom.

I wasn’t bothered by their lovemaking at all, if anything – I was curious to know how it was and what they enjoyed most!

 

Singing operas in bed

Recently I spoke to a girl who was not interested in making sounds in bed because she didn’t feel the need to perform for someone in any way.

She was enjoying sex without using her voice and she was rejecting the idea of using the sound to please her lover.

I explained to her that I saw it differently.

I used my voice to express my pleasure, I allowed sounds to escape my mouth because it felt good for me to do so, because my body was asking for expression in the middle of blissful pleasure.

I didn’t do it for my partner, I did for myself!

And in the process, I was experiencing much more pleasure than I ever could have without the sound.

 

How to sound

According to Charles Muir from Source School of Tantra Yoga, if you make a sound during orgasm, your orgasm will keep going as long as you’re voicing your pleasure.

Well, that should be a great incentive to start using your voice more!

In my experience, the vibration of the sound carries our sexual energy further than it could travel without it.

This way our ecstasy can keep going and going for much longer while the air is electric and full of moans, sighs and screams of pleasure.

Using sound during sex doesn’t have to be scary – you can start by exhaling through the mouth which will make it easier for you to sigh on each outbreath.

As you become more and more comfortable with sighing, you can make a louder sound – aaaaaaah!…

As you become more and more comfortable with the idea of using sound, your aaah! can become louder and louder and you can also start using words: Yes! Oh my god! Yeah, like that! Keep going! You’re sooooo good! That feels amazing! F*ck! I love your body/cock/pussy/breasts/…

 

Using voice in bed is not hard and the more you do it, the more you’ll enjoy it, meaning that you will want to do it more and more.

Almost 10 years ago I got together with a lover who loved to talk dirty.

I had never even heard anybody speak like that before and while I loved what he was doing, I couldn’t imagine myself using language so freely in bed.

Oh boy, things are very different now!

And while I love to talk dirty to my lovers in bed, I also wish they’d talk back to me a little more.

One-sided conversations are just not enough fun! 😉

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3 Key Reasons Why You Need to Self-Pleasure

3 Key Reasons Why You Need to Self-Pleasure

Taboo of adult toys

I recently got some negative feedback and accusatory comments for a video I shared on YouTube.

The video was entitled “The Toys in My Naughty Drawer” and was created to inspire others to become more curious and daring in their self-pleasuring practice.

My goal was also to give others permission to talk about masturbation openly since I was courageous enough to share not only what I keep next to my bed but also what I do with each item.

In fact, I had a lot of fun showing and describing my pleasure collection, particularly so because I do play with a few unusual things.

But not everybody agreed with me and some people argued that masturbation was only for single or lonely people who were unable to enjoy any partner sex which, according to them, was clearly a higher level of a sexual activity.

They struggled to understand that I recommended self-touch not as a last resort but as a valid experience for people who also enjoy love-making with their partners.

 

Taboo of masturbation

I was also discussing the topic of my masturbation coaching with a client who is currently going through my Legendary Lover program.

Third step in the program deals with self-pleasuring and takes the longest to cover out of all the steps.

The reason for this is very simple – masturbation is our most basic form of sexual activity and the way we self-pleasure will determine the way we make love to others.

If you touch yourself in a quick, efficient way, focused on reaching a goal – that’s how you’ll have sex with your partner.

If you take your time, engage curiosity and concentrate on deepening pleasure and connection – your partner sex experiences will be enriched by that as well.

 

Why you need to self-pleasure

1/ Self-exploration

The better you know your body, erogenous zones and your pleasure potential, the better you can guide your partner to pleasure you.

Unfortunately, in our society most people don’t actually know what they want in bed and hence, are unable to ask for it.

We are all different and we all have different needs and desires.

These needs and desires can even change daily which can be very confusing to our partners, particularly if we don’t understand them ourselves.

Once we get to know our own bodies intimately, we can support each other in exploring our sensuality and pleasure.

Because it’s much better to give each other 5 minutes of what we really, really want than 30 minutes of what we THINK the other person wants.

 

2/ Pleasure training

Our bodies learn pleasure and can get better and better at it in the same way that your muscles get stronger and stronger as you keep going to the gym.

Self-pleasuring is a wonderful way to teach your body how to feel sexual pleasure and to train and condition yourself for a lifetime of orgasmic bliss and ecstasy.

Self-touch also allows us to overcome limiting beliefs, shame and guilt about our bodies.

Touching yourself slowly, mindfully, giving yourself a loving full-body massage will re-sensitize your skin and help you develop a deeper connection with your physical sensations and your erotic self.

Plus something that not many people are aware of – nobody can give you an orgasm, they can only support you in having one.

Whether you orgasm or not, depends on you only – your level of sensitivity, of connection with your body and any limiting beliefs in your head that might be inhibiting your orgasmic ability.

 

3/ It will make you happy

Yes, as simple as that – pleasure makes us happy, relaxed and content.

Awakening our sexual energy and feeling that deeply vibrant, ecstatic force flowing through our bodies charges us, energizes us and nurtures our bodies.

Orgasms cause a huge release of pleasure hormones and neurotransmitters that flood our system giving us more satisfaction, confidence and general wellbeing.

 

However, be aware that there are two different ways to orgasm – the explosive way which will deplete you and the implosive way which will nurture you.

Get in touch with me if you’d like to learn to orgasm like a pro and channel your ecstatic energy for rejuvenation, healing and virility!

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