Stronger Orgasms with Edging

Stronger Orgasms with Edging

What if I told you that there is a technique that will make your orgasms 10 times stronger every time? And that you can use it both on yourself and on your lover, in order to give them truly mind-blowing experiences in the bedroom as well? If that sounds good, please stick around because I’m going to tell you how to do exactly that!

I first heard of edging many years ago when I started studying Tantra and great sex

Back then I was still struggling to have orgasms and when I did manage to have them, it was usually when I was placing a vibrator on my clitoris. Due to high intensity of the stimulation that the vibrators provide, I would usually come really quickly but the orgasm itself was always quite disappointing, almost non-existent.

I had no idea back then what a difference slowing down would make. It turns out that the best orgasms aren’t the ones that we reach quickly but the ones where a lot of time is taken to build up enough arousal and sexual energy.

In the mainstream world, people tend to think that the best lover is the one who takes his partner to orgasm quickly. However, in Tantra it’s quite the opposite. The best lover is the one that teases the partner and stimulates them pleasurably and makes them wild with desire before they let them reach that orgasmic peak.

These tantric lovers all use a technique called edging

The way edging works is quite simple – you come to the edge of orgasm and then you back away. So you don’t let yourself (or your partner) orgasm and you keep coming to that edge many times before you finally climax. I’m going to tell you first how to do it alone and then how to do that with your lover.

1/ Edging alone

When you’re masturbating, make sure to pleasurably stimulate yourself until you come close to an orgasm. Do not orgasm yet though! When you’re close, take your hands away from your genitals, relax your entire body and take at least 10 deep, abdominal breaths while touching and caressing the rest of your body.

When you’re breathing deeply, your sexual energy is being pulled out of your genital area and distributed throughout your body. This means that the intensity of arousal will reduce but the lovely sensations will start to spread out.

At that point, after 10 breaths, you can start stimulating your genital area again. Keep going until you get close to your edge again and then stop, take your hands away and breathe deeply – again about 10 breaths should do it. Once your arousal reduces, resume genital stimulation.

So what you’re doing here is you’re brining yourself up to a high level of arousal and then you’re coming back down. Then coming up again and then back down. Try to do this at least 5 times before you let yourself reach climax. And when you do, prepare for a mind-blowing, expanded, blissful experience.

When you take the time to build up enough sexual energy, the resulting orgasm will be much stronger than if you were only to stimulate yourself for a few minutes

2/ Edging with a lover

When you’re playing with your partner and you want to use edging on them, this will be a little bit more tricky because you won’t always know how close to the orgasm they are. This is why it’s helpful to ask them to let you know where they’re at. I find that simply raising their hand when they’re close to the edge is enough for me to know when I should stop the stimulation of their genitalia.

So once your partner is highly aroused, it’s time to spread out their sexual energy. So, instruct them to breathe deeply while you’re touching and massaging their chest, arms, belly and legs. After they take about 10 deep breaths, you can resume the genital touch. Keep going until you bring them to the edge at least 5 times!

This technique is truly mind-blowing and particularly when I use it on a new lover, it completely blows their socks off. I find that most people have no idea how strong, powerful and satisfying their orgasms can be.

But! The big secret is taking your time, using the edging and stimulating as much sexual energy and arousal in their body as possible

Then you’re pretty much guaranteed to rock their world once you let them reach that climax.

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Truth About Dick Pics

Truth About Dick Pics

I feel like it’s really time we talked about this very delicate topic. And if you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I’m not afraid to address … sensitive subjects. So here it is – dick pics! The good, the bad, the ugly. Why so many men send them, why women typically feel offended by that and what to do to send a dick pic successfully and get a positive reaction from her.

Over the years I have received a ton of dick pics 

They’ve been pouring in through my email, Fb messenger, IG and even WhatsApp. Men seem compelled to expose their erect penises to me and while I appreciate the generous thought behind the photo, I’ve never had a desire to actually respond to these messages with pictures of my own naked genitalia.

When I hear from women who have received uninvited dick pics in their lives, they’re pretty much always offended, shocked or at least annoyed by the man behind the dick photo. And what’s really interesting about that is that there seems to be this huge miscommunication or a massive misunderstanding from both sides – the sender and the receiver of the dick pic – about the meaning of that photo…

Because upon conducting a little research of my own about this very topic, I asked some male friends how they would feel when receiving an uninvited picture of a naked vulva, particularly from a woman they didn’t know. To my surprise, their reaction was very positive – mostly interest, excitement, amusement and curiosity.

It turns out that men see a photo of exposed genitalia as a lovely and welcome invitation.

And so when they decide to send a dick pic, it’s in the hope that the female recipient will react in a positive way and that she’ll engage with him in some form of erotic exchange – meaning further photos or maybe even sexual intercourse at some point.

But that’s not what happens when a woman receives an uninvited dick pic – not at all! Instead of a happy surprise, she’ll most likely feel insulted or even disgusted. Because women see dick pics as an almost aggressive attempt to use her sexually. She’ll likely interpret the photo along the lines of “I’m a horny man and I want to stick my hard cock in your vagina”.

And that message really is not that appealing to women.

She doesn’t want to be seen as JUST a vagina. And she definitely doesn’t want her body to be used by him to just release his biological urges. For a woman to feel sexually aroused and to desire a particular cock, there are a few steps that need to happen first – she wants to get to know you a bit, she needs to feel attracted to you, she needs to be able to trust you enough to relax in your presence and she needs to feel safe with you, etc. So simply sending a photo of a hard cock to her inbox will be a lazy attempt to skip these steps. And that’s just not going to work.

So just to be clear, I’m talking here about uninvited dick pics from strangers. It’s actually a very different story when the man sending the dick pic is a partner or a lover of the woman. That’s obviously a different kind of situation. When you know each other well and you have been intimate together, these kind of sexy photos can be a lovely way to flirt or seduce each other. But when these pics come from a stranger, that bond and intimate connection is just not there.

How to send a dick pic successfully 

Now! If you REALLY want to send a dick pic to a stranger, there IS actually a way to do it in a caring and respectful way, in a way that will increase your chances of creating a positive reaction in her. And that’s asking for her permission before you send her any graphic content. That request can be as simple as “I would like to send you some adult photos or videos. Would you like to receive them?”

If she says “Yes”, then you can safely go ahead. By asking for her permission first, you’ve shown to her that you respect her and that she can feel comfortable around you. However, if she says “No”, do not send her the dick pic. Under any circumstances, do not send that photo. If you need to turn off your wifi because you cannot trust yourself to not send the dick pic, turn that wifi off!

This is really important, please do not overlook this step

Getting her permission first is the only way to achieve any level of success with your dick pic. It’s still not a guarantee that she’ll send any adult photos back OR have sex with you. But at least she won’t block you or think of you as a creep.

I hope that this helps in untangling the complex world of dick pics – both for the senders and the receivers of such photos. If you enjoyed this post, please comment below and let me know if you have ever sent or received a dick pic. And what your experience was with that!

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How to Have Stronger Erections

How to Have Stronger Erections

A lot of men come to me seeking advice on increasing the strength and hardness of their erections. It seems that there is a prevailing perception out in the world that a penis should be capable of being rock-hard for a long time which fact then is linked to a man’s value as a lover. This perception is often intensified by the porn industry which never shows flaccid penises. This in turn sends a powerful message that a man should be always hard when in bed with a woman.

 

Fun fact: I once read that on any porn set, most time is spent waiting for the lead actor to get hard.

 

Many men also tend to compare their performance to their younger selves which in majority of cases will make them feel inadequate. Men in their 20s typically have erections that are strong, frequent and 100% dependable. But this will start changing at around age 30. However, if a man has no idea that this is a natural process, he might feel distressed and anxious about his experience.

 

There is also a range of conditions that will affect a man’s sexual stamina, erection and performance, like cardiovascular conditions and blood flow issues, diabetes, low testosterone, stress, alcohol consumption and even depression. So, it might be a great start to pay your doctor a visit and get a full physical to address potential health issues first.

 

Erections will naturally weaken with age, however, any man can slow down that process by taking a good care of his body and by being proactive with his sexual health.

 

So, what are your next steps to stronger, harder erections?

 

1/ Take care of your testosterone

Healthy testosterone level will have a strong impact on the quality of your erection. So make sure to support your body – limit sugar and alcohol intake, get plenty of restful sleep, limit stress in your life, eat a healthy, balanced diet, get enough sun, etc.

 

2/ Let your inner warrior out to play

Typically masculine activities that stimulate your inner hunter/warrior energy will naturally drive your testosterone levels up. This can include practicing martial arts, resistance training such as weight lifting, high-intensity interval training (HIIT), etc. Choose the activity that you will enjoy most!

 

3/ Relax!

Relaxation promotes erections. So next time you find yourself tensing up in order to force your erection to get harder, try to keep your body open and relaxed.

Remember that your body knows best how to create best erections which is why men often wake up with a hard cock in the morning. Reason for that is state of deep relaxation that your body entered during sleep!

 

4/ Learn to feel your cock

A lot of sexual issues stem from a disconnection between the head and the pelvic area. There is a number of reasons why this might happen – past trauma, shame, inhibitions or even medical procedures. The best way to go about changing this situation is to deepen the sensitivity in your penis.

In order to do that, spend a few minutes every day breathing deeply and bringing your attention down to your cock. Once you can start feeling energy, pleasure and arousal there while performing this exercise (without any physical touch), you’ll know that you’re on the right track!

 

5/ Get out of your head

Performance anxiety can be a strongly inhibiting factor when it comes to hard erections. When you’re stuck in your head and stressing about your performance, you’re driving energy and blood-flow away from your genitals, weakening your ability to be hard.

Instead of putting pressure on yourself and pushing your body to perform better, bring your awareness down into your penis and simply FEEL all the arousal, excitement and erotic energy. This body-based approach will bring much better results than trying to force things from the level of your head!

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Is Bigger Really Better?

When it comes to sex, a lot of things are about a personal preference. And size of the penis is one of these things. Regardless of the size, penis is able to perform its duties and functions properly. However, men tend to have strong feelings about how big (or small) their penises are.

 

It seems that most men desire to be bigger.

 

And that the gentlemen who do have impressive cocks, get a deep sense of confidence and pride out of that fact. However, what is actually big enough? And what do women have to say about that?

 

According to research, huge majority of men fall into an average size group. The average penis measures 8-10cm flaccid and 12-14cm erect. And only a relatively small percentage of men are smaller or bigger than that.

 

Research also reports that an overwhelming majority of heterosexual women are satisfied with their partner’s size.

 

Most women also claim that the size of the penis doesn’t make any difference to their pleasure. Some of these women also mentioned that a smaller penis can be actually more pleasurable to them as a larger cock can cause painful friction or can hit the cervix located at the end of the vaginal canal.

 

Plus, men with shorter penises can be better equipped to stimulate the sensitive G-spot and to bring their lovers to delicious G-spot orgasms.

 

It seems that internet porn causes a lot of penis shaming.

 

Actors who are chosen for the roles typically are really well endowed and in many cases these penises are also digitally enhanced or injected with drugs that induce erections and enhance engorgement. When normal sized men compare themselves to the male porn stars, they tend to fall short, giving them a sense of inadequacy.

 

It breaks my heart every time I work in sessions with these men and hear their stories…

 

Let’s please stop shaming the penises for their size! All cocks are beautiful, capable and amazing. And after all, most women don’t care about the size of the penis as long as the man knows how to use it!

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10 Unusual Ways to Masturbate

10 Unusual Ways to Masturbate

The International Masturbation Month is in full swing and I think that it’s time to play with some new, fun ideas. I am fond of giving my clients homework (or is it home-play?…) and I hope that you’ll be tempted to try at least a few of these scenarios.

 

Most people I speak to always masturbate the same way.

 

We often form self-touch habits early in life and then keep stroking ourselves in fairly routine ways for years. How about you? Do you still touch yourself the same way you did 10-15 years ago?

 

This can be problematic because you can end up wiring your nervous system to respond to particular kind of stimulation, which can then unfortunately limit your sexual potential. So here are a few interesting ways to shake up your self-pleasure routine!

 

1/ Bath tub

Fill the tub with warm water and add Epson salts, essential oils, bubble bath, or anything else you like. Once you get in, warm water will deeply relax your entire body plus it will caress and stimulate your skin, adding an extra level of sensation to your experience. Touching and stroking yourself in that state will take you to a whole new level of delish!

 

2/ Mirror

Use a full-length mirror or a small hand-held mirror placed in front of genitals (or both!). This will allow you to see what you look like in arousal plus how your body is responding to your self-stimulation. Most people have never seen themselves when turned on and have no idea how hot they look!

 

3/ Vibrator on the body

Stimulating different parts of your body with a vibrator can be a lot of fun! Most people only use vibrators on their genitalia but using them to stimulate others body parts can be extremely pleasurable and arousing. For example, applying a vibrating toy to your chest will not only provide lovely stimulation there, it’ll also help your body send the arousal upwards, helping your sexual energy spread and expand.

 

4/ Vibrator on the anus

One of my teachers, Joseph Kramer, Ph.D., claims that stimulating the anal opening with a vibrator can induce trance-like states of bliss. How about testing this for yourself?

 

5/ External/internal anal massage

Speaking of the anus – when was the last time you gave yourself an anal massage? Make sure to use plenty of lubrication as the anus doesn’t produce any of its own. And be gentle with yourself – massage the anus externally in any way that feels delicious to you. And if you’re adventurous, you can venture inside. But remember – anal stimulation should never hurt. If it does, slow down, add more lube and be much, much gentler!

 

6/ Hands-free

Using hands to stroke ourselves can create tension in the body and can reduce your pleasure.

This is why going hands-free can be a lot of fun! But it requires a bit of preparation. If you’re a woman, you can attach a vibrator to a nightstand or a table and move your body on it in any way that feels good.

If you’re a man, you can attach a Fleshlight (or a similar toy) on an appropriate height that will allow you to thrust into it easily. If you don’t own a vagina-shaped toy, you can use a plastic bag with some lubricant in it. Sticky-tape it to any surface and thrust away!

 

7/ Use air

Use a fan or a fan-heater to stimulate your genital area with either cool or warm air. This can be extremely arousing but make sure to adjust the air temperature so it’s not too hot or not too cold!

 

8/ Water play

Shower heads can be absolutely exquisite as a source of sexual pleasure. If you can, adjust the water pressure to your liking and let warm water stroke, caress and massage your intimate bits. Because the sensations will be gentler than direct hand touch, this will provide a lot of teasing before you come!

 

9/ Dancing

Instead of masturbating on your bed, stand up, put lively music on and stroke yourself while dancing. Don’t think about how to move – nobody’s watching you anyways! You don’t have to show off any sexy dance moves. Instead, listen to your body and move in any way your body wants to move. You can shake, jump, bounce, stretch or flow. Whatever you do, stay connected to your arousal and your pleasure!

 

10/ Make a video

As you begin your masturbation session, set up the camera in your phone and hit “Record”. Do a show, enjoy yourself but don’t rush it! Take your time and slowly explore your eroticism in front of the camera. Nobody else needs to ever watch it (unless you show them). And the awareness of being recorded will give you a sense of being witnessed, which can be a huge turn-on for many!

 

 

But wait – that’s not the end! If you enjoyed this list, you’re going to LOVE my Masturbation Coaching online course. It’s a 7-week journey for both men and women who want to expand their sexual and orgasmic potential through a masterful self-touch. This program is full to the brim of tips, techniques and practices that will train your body to open up erotically and experience completely new types of orgasm!

 

To celebrate the Masturbation Month, the entire course is available at 50% off with coupon code ‘SelfLove’.

Enrol today and begin your journey towards the fullness of your sexual, erotic and orgasmic potential!

LEARN MORE

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Most people I speak to and coach, have no idea that they can have and give each other orgasmic experiences located in different areas of their bodies. In bed, they usually focus touch and stimulation on the genitals. Even when there is some foreplay and some kissing involved, that kind of touch is considered an entrée before the main meal – meaning penetration or oral sex.

 

What we tend to forget is that the entire body is one big erogenous zone. And ecstatic pleasure can be stimulated to an orgasmic peak anywhere where the body is sensitive enough to feel pleasure. So how do you give your partner a breast-gasm?

 

1/ Create a space of relaxation

Preparing the space always helps – tidy up the room, bring in nice cushions, music, candles, incense sticks, etc. Once your partner makes herself comfortable, invite her to relax and then start caressing her entire body in a loving way. Use gentle, feather-light touch or soft, flowing strokes.

Let go of any goals, don’t expect anything specific to happen and allow her to surrender to your touch.

 

2/ Invite her to breathe

We all tend to get distracted, even in moments of pleasure. Active minds pull us away from the sensations present in the body and we miss out on the intensity. There is no way to have a blissful moment of ecstasy when the mind is occupied with something else.

So keep reminding her to breathe deeply, slowly. This will help her remain mindful of her pleasure, aware of all the intense and subtle sensations and energetic shifts.

 

3/ Tease her

Touch her breasts gently, lightly. Don’t start with the nipples. Start with feather-light strokes circling her breasts, each one separately and then both together. Allow your fingers to gently wander closer to the areola and then backing away. Nipples are very sensitive so don’t touch them too quickly.

Also, make sure to allow your hands to wander off of her breasts and down to her belly and legs and up to her neck, face and arms. This will encourage the pleasurable energy to keep spreading through her body.

 

4/ Nipple touch

When she’s ready for more, include nipples in your touch. Start with very gentle strokes, tracing the areola with a very light touch. Next you can move onto rolling her nipples between your fingers and then finally, to pinching them. This will release waves of pleasure hormones in her body. Make sure to keep varying your touch between lighter and firmer strokes.

 

5/ Keep edging

Edging is an amazing technique but you need to really pay attention to her body. Keep watching her, noticing her pleasure states. When she reaches high state of arousal, back off, remind her to breathe and move your touch away from her breasts. When she’s calm and relaxed again, build up more arousal and erotic charge in her breasts again.

Continuously dance between arousal and relaxation, allowing her to channel and experience her pleasure through her entire system.

 

6/ Encourage her to move

It might help her to move and undulate her body while you keep touching her. Relaxed movement combined with deep breath allow any pleasure sensations to grow and move through her system. You can further support that flow of energy by moving your strokes between her breasts and the rest of her body. Move her energy down her stomach and legs, up her arms and neck. And when it feels right to do so, let go of edging and allow her to fall into a deep state of orgasmic bliss.

 

This process should take at least half an hour. The longer you’ll tease and arouse her, the more powerful her breast-gasm will be. Quick, rushed sessions of breast touch are usually not enough to build her energy up enough for a powerful climax. So make sure to enjoy yourself. If you’re not having fun while touching her breasts, it’s not likely that she will!

If you want to learn more, check out my Tantric Mastery online course for men.

And if your lady struggles with her own sensuality and orgasmic ability, speak to her about my Orgasmic Empowerment course for women!

 

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