Can Men Have Multiple Orgasms

Can Men Have Multiple Orgasms

“I am learning so much from your online course! I now have full control and only ejaculate when I want to. And my sensitivity is increasing daily. Amazing stuff! :-)”

 

This is a message I received from one of the students of my online courses. Messages like that land in my mailbox on a regular basis, both from men and women, and fill my heart with gratitude and excitement every single time. It’s time we smashed sexual repression and claimed our right to fully orgasmic, blissful sex, whenever we want it!

 

So today I’m answering a question that I often encounter as a Tantra practitioner:

 

Can men have multiple orgasms?

Is it something they can practice and master?

Or do multiple orgasms belong in women’s bodies?

 

A lot of people misunderstand this concept and presume that I’m talking about men ejaculating more often and becoming drained of their energy. But that’s not what is meant by a multi-orgasmic man. So let me explain what the buzz is about and how to start playing with your own orgasmic potential…

 

 

PS. If you’re curious whether you too can learn to experience multiple orgasms, sign up for my online course for men Tantric Mastery.

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Is Tantra Changing Your Life

Is Tantra Changing Your Life

A student’s review of Helena Nista’s online training course.

by Steve Szubert.

 

Why did you choose the Tantric Mastery For Men training course?

I’ve been interested in Tantra for several years now, because I realised that I cannot grow fully as a whole person unless I integrate my sexuality into the process. I think Tantra is unique as a pathway of personal (even spiritual) growth which embraces the fundamental fact that we are sexual beings.

Over time, I’ve gathered bits of knowledge and practical tips from many different sources online. Some of it proved to be rubbish, but there are also many excellent teachers out there, each with their own unique style.

As time went on, I found that I resonated more and more with Helena Nista’s style of teaching. Always down to earth and practical. Always open-minded and non-judgemental. Always charming and cheerful.

Helena has been very generous with the knowledge she has shared through her blog, her You Tube channel, her book Legendary Lover…  I knew that learning with Helena is a true exploration that guides me to discover what is true for myself.

Nevertheless, the knowledge of Tantra that I had picked up was rather like a patchwork quilt. I was ready to step up to the next level. I was looking for a way to bring all the bits together and expand them.

When Tantra Mastery For Men became available, I felt a powerful gut instinct that this was it.

 

What did you expect to get from your Tantric Mastery For Men training?

In one word: INTEGRATION.

I wanted to integrate all my knowledge of Tantra into a coherent framework. I wanted to set in place a solid foundation on which to build further.

I was also looking for deeper integration within myself: deeper self knowledge,  deeper understanding of my own nature and how Nature has wired me to work, deeper experience of my energy and vitality…

Tantra itself is like a toolbox. It’s practical. I did not expect to become a “master of Tantra” like some university professor who knows all the long words. That does not interest me. What I wanted was someone to show me how to open up the toolbox and start using the tools……to master myself.

 

Did you find what you were looking for, in Tantric Mastery For Men?

Yes, certainly, and much more. I could write a book about it. Maybe I will, LOL!

You know, I’ve just taken another look at the course description. I can honestly say “YES” to everything that’s outlined in there. I found all those things in the training course.

And something more……which I’d have to write that book to explain. LOL!

 

Is there anything you did not like about Tantric Mastery For Men?

Oh, yes.

At first, I felt frustrated that the course is set up so that, after enrolling, you have to wait a week before access to each module is released to you. You cannot complete the course (first time round) in less than seven weeks.

But now, I’m thankful for that.

I soon realised how rich each lesson is in practical content. Every time I repeated a lesson, I got more out of it.

There’s one other thing that I absolutely hated about Tantric Mastery For Men.

I hated it when the seven modules of the course came to an end. I wanted to carry on and on with this course. Helena’s teaching is so enjoyable. It’s like having an expert with you in your own room, guiding you through practical ways to bring in real positive changes.

But…I can carry on. Now that I’m enrolled, I can repeat the training as often and as many times as I like.

There’s also Helena’s deeper course, Legendary Lover, which I’ll be starting soon.

 

What tips would you give others, to help them get the most out of Tantric Mastery For Men?

Just go for it. There is no risk. If you have any reservations, try Helena’s free introductory course, Tantra For Beginners. Everything I say here is also true of that course.

I’d recommend you do that free course anyway. It mirrors the first lessons of Tantric Mastery For Men, but from a different angle. The two courses really add to each other.

The other important tip I have is to take on board that this training course will do NOTHING for you…..unless you do the work to put it into practice. And the more you repeat that work, again and again, the deeper and more far reaching the results you will experience in your daily life.

Having said that….. Relax. Helena makes the “work” as simple and easy as it can be. Everything in the course is presented in crystal clear steps that are easy to implement.

Enjoy it. It’s fun. It’s about living more joyfully. It’s meant to be fun.

Oh, and by the way, Tantric Mastery For Men also works wonders for enjoying more sexual pleasure – for yourself and for your partner (or future partner), who will love you for it.

 

Learn more about the course here – Tantric Mastery (7-week online program for men).

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Treatment for Premature Ejaculation

Treatment for Premature Ejaculation

When does premature ejaculation happen?

In my practice, I see men, women and couples coming to me about a variety of sex and intimacy related issues – sexual boredom and frustration, painful sex, lack of libido and erectile difficulties among many others. However, there is one complaint that I hear more often than anything else and that’s premature ejaculation. Also called ‘rapid ejaculation’ or ‘early ejaculation’, it’s an experience where a man orgasms and releases semen soon after the moment of penetration. In the medical society, the opinions vary in relation to how long is ‘soon’ and some experts place the cut-off point at 2 minutes, others at 1 minute and others still – at 15 seconds. My education and practices I use are based in Tantra which is why I support a different view of this issue. According to the tantric circles, premature ejaculation happens when the man ejaculates before either one of the partners is ready.

Is it a problem?

This issue is not straightforward and a lot depends on the personal experience of the couple. If he ejaculates within 2 minutes and both are satisfied with the experience, there is no problem. Unfortunately, that’s rarely the case as many men suffering from early ejaculation report low levels of sexual satisfaction and pleasure. Huge majority of them want to be able to last longer and hence popularity of different pills and products available on the market, that make promising claims. The partners of premature ejaculators are usually much more understanding and tolerant of this issue than men, however, women also can report significant frustration when intercourse is cut short.

Causes of premature ejaculation

There are many possible causes of PE so it’s always best to speak to a professional to pinpoint what is happening in your particular case. Most commonly, bad masturbation habits can condition the body for a quick release. Many men first learn to self-pleasure when they’re teenagers and they form a habit of touching themselves in a very quick, efficient way, in order to avoid getting caught. As they continue masturbating exactly the same way for many years, their nervous system becomes wired in a way that leads to a quick release and they lose control over their arousal.

What about porn?

Among other causes there is also porn watching. Porn is a great source of sexual stimulation and can lead to high levels of arousal. When overstimulated, the men become highly excited very quickly, leading them to a premature climax. When this process is repeated often, the body adopts it and performs the same way each time, whether the man wants to release quickly or not.

The role of society

For others, the society and its conditioning is to blame. We live in a culture that represses sexuality and sexual desires. We grow up feeling that sex is somehow bad or sinful, that nudity is wrong and that our genitals are dirty and smelly. We all want to be good, proper human beings so we develop a conflict between our ethics or religious beliefs and the desires of our bodies. This can lead to deep levels of shame and guilt that we carry around into our daily lives and into our bedrooms. This can further lead to a disconnection between the head and the body and we find ourselves distracted during sex, stuck in the head and absent from the body. It’s extremely difficult to control one’s arousal when the attention wanders and we’re detached from our physical experience.

Who is usually affected?

In my experience, early ejaculation can affect men of all ages, backgrounds and occupations. However, the good news is that anybody can reverse this conditioning and create an ability to last as long as they want in bed. And this is very significant because the issue is very wide-spread and affects significantly the confidence, wellbeing and romantic lives of the sufferers. I have worked with men who have come to me in a state of depression, self-conscious and unable to approach women out of fear or embarrassment. That fear is very telling about how we perceive masculinity and the pressure we put on men to perform in bed. We expect men to be great lover and to satisfy their partners, however, the society gives them no tools or education to create mind-blowing, long-lasting sex in the bedroom. Some men give up on relationships, unable to deal with shame and embarrassment. Others keep trying, using different products or techniques that promise results. But none of these techniques are perfect and some can come with significant side effects.

Short-term solutions

Pills like viagra used in a long-term will create health problems or extreme states of fatigue. Numbing creams will reduce sensation, cutting off the pleasure both for you AND for her, as the cream from the penis will be transferred into the vagina during intercourse. Thinking about knitting and grandma during sex can help in a short-term, however, you’ll be missing the whole point of sex – intimacy and connection – and your partner will pick up on it. Some men choose to ejaculate before sex and that will usually allow them to last longer the second time. But most men report that the second time is never as pleasurable as the first one and that they’re basically hammering away, without much sensitivity, tenderness or passion. Others still, create extreme muscle tension in their bodies right before the orgasm, in order to stop the ejaculatory response. This will help in some cases but the experience will be each time very challenging and frustrating for both partners.
None of these techniques or products create a long-term solutions. They need to be applied each time, not solving the problem, simply masking it.

There’s a better way

Fortunately, there is another way to combat premature ejaculation, a much more healthy and natural alternative. It brings no side-effects and keeps both partners connected, loving and deeply satisfied. It can be used in any position, with any partner and can create an experience of love-making that lasts a long time and is full of connection, pleasure and bliss. Men who apply tantric practices develop mastery over their erections and arousal, stay deeply mindful of their bodies and enjoy pleasure beyond anything that they’ve experienced before. At the most basic level, these practices involve a conscious use of relaxation, breath and presence.

1/ Relaxation

When we’re relaxed, our sexual energy and arousal can flow freely through the entire body instead of remaining stuck in the genital area. Pretty much all men learn early to tense up the muscles in their bodies as they become aroused and that tension is exactly what triggers the ejaculatory response. When the arousal is stuck in the genitals, held there by muscle tension, it cannot move and soon the pressure becomes too much for the body to hold. As the erotic charge is released, we reach an orgasmic climax and lose all arousal and sexual energy.

2/ Breath

Men often constrict or hold their breath as they become aroused, which is another way to keep the erotic energy localised in one spot, in the pelvis. This is why tantric men use deep, abdominal breathing to pull their sexual charge out of their genitals and up through their entire bodies. As the arousal is carried by the breath through the entire system, it’s much easier to last longer as the body doesn’t struggle to keep a significant amount of pressure in one spot.

3/ Presence

Most men ejaculate early because they’re not aware of how aroused they are. With our minds constantly racing, it’s challenging to remain mindful and aware of the sensations in the body. But when a man is deeply conscious and connected to his body, he will properly read the signals that his body is sending him and he’ll develop not only a better degree of control in bed but also a deeper sensitivity and an ability to feel much more pleasure.

Is this for you?

As with anything in life, using shortcuts usually doesn’t get us far and we all need to do the real work in order to see real results. Working with relaxation, breath and presence in a consistent way, during masturbation and partner sex, will rewire the nervous system and teach the body to remain in the state of arousal for much longer. This will create a beautiful, effortless experience of love-making, full of not only control and pleasure but also connection and deep intimacy. And that’s exactly why Tantra has been gaining popularity over the last decade. It provides a wonderful alternative to quick, frustrating sexual encounters. And for curious seekers and patient students, it offers the world of energetic orgasms, mystical bliss and divine connection that most of us have never experienced before!
Get in touch with me to schedule a session in order to learn more!

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What Do Women Desire in Bed?

What Do Women Desire in Bed?

“He starts to kiss me, softly, sweetly, tugging at my lips with his.

He cups my breast, brushes the nipple with his thumb.

I reach down and stroke myself where all the sweat gathers, where the smell of my sex is strongest. I stroke it and then lick my fingers and stroke it some more.

He gently bites my top lip, sucks it. Tugs at my nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger.

I feel it harden.

I feel him harden.

I feel myself getting wet.

I wet my finger, run it up the lips of my pussy and imagine it’s his tongue, wetting the wings of my labia, feeling them flutter and spread, circling my clit and flicking it. Blood rushes to my head, to my clit. I feel dizzy.” – from “The Juliette Society” by Sasha Grey

 

Women’s erotica has never been on my reading list. It is a genre that most people would never reach for as it has a reputation for being poorly written and cheesy. Most people would feel terribly embarrassed if they were ever caught reading it. Yet I know men who have more than once wandered into the land of erotic novels. And they had a good reason to do so!

 

Men and women fantasize about sex differently, different things turn us on. We also usually desire different things in bed. Most of porn produced today is aimed towards men, responding to masculine desires and fantasies. But if as a man, you truly want to learn what your lover desires and dreams of in bed, you won’t learn that from porn. In many cases even your lover herself won’t be able to tell you about it – many women experience a lot of shame when it comes to voicing their sexual preferences. But there is one place where women freely allow themselves to express and indulge in truly feminine sexual fantasies – in erotic novels.

 

As you dive deep into the world of romance and erotica, you’ll discover that women love to be seduced and teased. You’ll find pages of descriptions of gentle touch, of building anticipation, of kissing, licking each other, holding each other close, of coming close and pulling away…

… and then finally giving in to desire when she is dripping wet and feels dazed with arousal. The moments before the penetration are where it’s all at – the bodies shivering with pleasure as lovers hardly manage to control themselves.

 

As Barry Long, a charismatic Australian teacher, advises in his books and tapes, the modern couples have forgotten how to make love to each other which is why there is so much frustration and sexual dissatisfaction in the world. I find this quote particularly powerful:

“Woman has learned to make love through man who does not know how to make love. Hence the dreadful mess that love is in. Since time began she has been manipulated and encouraged to feel that the finest expression of her love is to please man sexually. The truth is the other way around. The finest expression of love is to have man delight her sexually. This he can only do when he can forget his preoccupation with orgasm and be sufficiently selfless or present in love to collect and receive her divine energies. For him, these are the finest expression of her love.”

 

I have spoken to countless men who lament that their wives don’t want to have sex anymore. And I do sympathise but at the same time I wonder: “what kind of sex was she getting all these years?”. Very few women in our society are made love to well, and for many, many years, I was one of them. Many men forget that women get aroused slowly and they penetrate their partners too soon, which can be undesirable, uncomfortable or even painful. So if you, as a man, desire a lifetime of passionate sex and an insatiable lover, ask yourself first: “what do I know about women’s sexual desires?”. And if the answer is “not much”, maybe it’s time to visit the erotica section on Amazon…

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How to Give Her a Nipple-gasm

How to Give Her a Nipple-gasm

I still remember my first ever nipple-gasm, many years ago. It was beautiful, powerful and blissful. The pleasure steadily grew in my chest area and then exploded through my entire body. Ripples and waves of sweet, orgasmic energy kept flowing through my system for a while. And it was a complete surprise!

 

Most people I speak to and coach, have no idea that they can have and give each other orgasmic experiences located in different areas of their bodies. In bed, they usually focus touch and stimulation on the genitals. Even when there is some foreplay and some kissing involved, that kind of touch is considered an entrée before the main meal – meaning penetration or oral sex.

 

What we tend to forget is that the entire body is one big erogenous zone. And ecstatic pleasure can be stimulated to an orgasmic peak anywhere where the body is sensitive enough to feel pleasure. So how do you give your partner a nipple-gasm?

 

1/ Create a space of relaxation

Preparing the space always helps – tidy up the room, bring in nice cushions, music, candles, incense sticks, etc. Once your partner makes herself comfortable, invite her to relax and then start caressing her entire body in a loving way. Use gentle, feather-light touch or soft, flowing strokes.

Let go of any goals, don’t expect anything specific to happen and allow her to surrender to your touch.

 

2/ Invite her to breathe

We all tend to get distracted, even in moments of pleasure. Active minds pull us away from the sensations present in the body and we miss out on the intensity. There is no way to have a blissful moment of ecstasy when the mind is somewhere else.

So keep reminding her to breathe deeply, slowly. This will help her remain mindful of her pleasure, aware of all the intense and subtle sensations and energetic shifts.

 

3/ Tease her

Touch her breasts gently, lightly. Don’t start with the nipples. Start with feather-light strokes circling her breasts, each one separately and then both together. Allow your fingers to gently wander closer to the areola and then backing away. Nipples are very sensitive so don’t touch them too quickly.

Also, make sure to allow your hands to wander off of her breasts and down to her belly and legs and up to her neck, face and arms. This will encourage the pleasurable energy to keep spreading through her body.

 

4/ Nipple touch

When she’s ready for more, include nipples in your touch. Start with very gentle strokes, tracing the areola with a very light touch. Next you can move onto rolling her nipples between your fingers and then finally, to pinching them. This will release waves of pleasure hormones in her body. Make sure to keep varying your touch between lighter and firmer strokes.

 

5/ Keep edging

Edging is an amazing technique but you need to really pay attention to her body. Keep watching her, noticing her pleasure states. When she reaches high state of arousal, back off, remind her to breathe and move your touch away from her breasts. When she’s calm and relaxed again, build up more arousal and erotic charge in her breasts again.

Continuously dance between arousal and relaxation, allowing her to channel and experience her pleasure through her entire system.

 

6/ Encourage her to move

It might help her to move and undulate her body while you keep touching her. Relaxed movement combined with deep breath allow any pleasure sensations to grow and move through her system. You can further support that flow of energy by moving your strokes between her breasts and the rest of her body. Move her energy down her belly and legs, up her arms and neck. And when it feels right to do so, let go of edging and allow her to fall into a deep state of orgasmic bliss.

 

This process should take at least half an hour. The longer you’ll tease and arouse her, the more powerful her nipple-gasm will be. Quick, rushed sessions of breast touch are usually not enough to build her up enough for a powerful climax. So make sure to enjoy yourself. If you’re not having fun while touching her breasts, it’s not likely that she will!

If you want to learn more, check out my Legendary Lover online course for men.

And if your lady struggles with her own sensuality and orgasmic ability, speak to her about my Orgasmic Empowerment course for women!

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What Do Men Know About the Clitoris?

What Do Men Know About the Clitoris?

I was about twenty when I first found out what a clitoris was and that I had one. Up to that point my genital structure was quite mysterious to me and I didn’t have any clear idea of what was really hiding “down there”. When I lost virginity at 20, my first boyfriend was more experienced than me and introduced me to the world of oral sex and clitoral stimulation. He had learnt about it from his previous girlfriend who was older than him. The way he was touching my clit was pleasurable at first but with time he would keep adding pressure in order to make me orgasm. He wouldn’t listen to my pleas for him to be gentler or to stop. I had to orgasm each time, whether I liked it or not. The purpose of my climax was only partly for my pleasure with the main goal being the proof of his value as a lover.

Many years later, I now teach men of all ages and backgrounds about the female pearl of pleasure. Where it is, how it works, how to touch it, etc. I do wish my first boyfriend received this kind of detailed education! I also often wonder – when do men actually learn about the existence and function of the clitoris? The lucky ones will learn in their teenage years while playing with their girlfriends. But many will not. Many men go through years of their early sexual experiences without any understanding of female arousal and assumed that the penetration was the main deal. Only once they discover the clitoris, their sexual game changes. But they’re still far away from sexual mastery as the awareness of the clitoris is just the beginning.

For so many years now, we’ve been badly misinformed about the real structure of the clitoris. Did you know that this little button shaped organ you see is only a tip of an iceberg? The internal structure of the clitoris is much larger. The clitoral glans (the external part) is connected to the shaft which connects to the clitoral legs. The legs encompass the vagina on either side and are up to 9cm long. There are also clitoral bulbs (vestibules) located under the labia majora. When engorged with blood, they protrude out, pushing the vulva outward and causing a tighter-feeling vaginal opening.

By penetrating the vagina, you’re stimulating the internal clitoris which is wrapped around the vagina. According to scientists, the internal walls of the vagina are quite insensitive in most cases, indicating that the vagina is not the sole source of arousal. The internal clitoris is highly erogenous when stimulated through the vaginal walls and externally through the stimulation of the glans.

It wasn’t really until 2009 that a proper study of the internal clitoris was conducted. That’s when two French researchers (Dr. Odile Buisson and Dr. Pierre Foldès) completed a first 3D sonography of the stimulated clitoris showing how the erectile tissue of the clitoris engorges and surrounds the vagina. This was a complete breakthrough explaining that what was before considered a vaginal orgasm, is really an internal clitoral orgasm.

And as for the G-spot, it’s the area where the clitoris contacts the anterior vaginal wall. This explains why the G-spot’s location is different in every woman since the internal clitoral structure varies from person to person.

It’s also important to remember that sexual arousal is not only about the clitoris and vagina, there are many other physical and mental components involved. Plus we’re all different – physically and otherwise, we all have had different experiences that have shaped our bodily responses differently and no two human beings orgasm in exactly same way.

So there you go – the little button of pleasure packing an amazing number of 8,000 sensory nerve endings is much more than we’ve once thought it was! And this information is important for anybody who wants to enjoy a fuller experience of female pleasure and sexuality – whether it’s herself or her partner.

And one more final tip from me – the clitoral shaft is extremely pleasurable to touch. You will locate it just above the clitoral glans. Once you find it, place two fingers on either side of the shaft and slowly rub them up and down – your lady will love it!

 

Image source: OpenStax College – Anatomy & Physiology, Connexions Web site. http://cnx.org/content/col11496/1.6/, Jun 19, 2013., CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=30148635

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