How to Have Stronger Erections

How to Have Stronger Erections

A lot of men come to me seeking advice on increasing the strength and hardness of their erections. It seems that there is a prevailing perception out in the world that a penis should be capable of being rock-hard for a long time which fact then is linked to a man’s value as a lover. This perception is often intensified by the porn industry which never shows flaccid penises. This in turn sends a powerful message that a man should be always hard when in bed with a woman.

 

Fun fact: I once read that on any porn set, most time is spent waiting for the lead actor to get hard.

 

Many men also tend to compare their performance to their younger selves which in majority of cases will make them feel inadequate. Men in their 20s typically have erections that are strong, frequent and 100% dependable. But this will start changing at around age 30. However, if a man has no idea that this is a natural process, he might feel distressed and anxious about his experience.

 

There is also a range of conditions that will affect a man’s sexual stamina, erection and performance, like cardiovascular conditions and blood flow issues, diabetes, low testosterone, stress, alcohol consumption and even depression. So, it might be a great start to pay your doctor a visit and get a full physical to address potential health issues first.

 

Erections will naturally weaken with age, however, any man can slow down that process by taking a good care of his body and by being proactive with his sexual health.

 

So, what are your next steps to stronger, harder erections?

 

1/ Take care of your testosterone

Healthy testosterone level will have a strong impact on the quality of your erection. So make sure to support your body – limit sugar and alcohol intake, get plenty of restful sleep, limit stress in your life, eat a healthy, balanced diet, get enough sun, etc.

 

2/ Let your inner warrior out to play

Typically masculine activities that stimulate your inner hunter/warrior energy will naturally drive your testosterone levels up. This can include practicing martial arts, resistance training such as weight lifting, high-intensity interval training (HIIT), etc. Choose the activity that you will enjoy most!

 

3/ Relax!

Relaxation promotes erections. So next time you find yourself tensing up in order to force your erection to get harder, try to keep your body open and relaxed.

Remember that your body knows best how to create best erections which is why men often wake up with a hard cock in the morning. Reason for that is state of deep relaxation that your body entered during sleep!

 

4/ Learn to feel your cock

A lot of sexual issues stem from a disconnection between the head and the pelvic area. There is a number of reasons why this might happen – past trauma, shame, inhibitions or even medical procedures. The best way to go about changing this situation is to deepen the sensitivity in your penis.

In order to do that, spend a few minutes every day breathing deeply and bringing your attention down to your cock. Once you can start feeling energy, pleasure and arousal there while performing this exercise (without any physical touch), you’ll know that you’re on the right track!

 

5/ Get out of your head

Performance anxiety can be a strongly inhibiting factor when it comes to hard erections. When you’re stuck in your head and stressing about your performance, you’re driving energy and blood-flow away from your genitals, weakening your ability to be hard.

Instead of putting pressure on yourself and pushing your body to perform better, bring your awareness down into your penis and simply FEEL all the arousal, excitement and erotic energy. This body-based approach will bring much better results than trying to force things from the level of your head!

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Is Bigger Really Better?

Is Bigger Really Better?

When it comes to sex, a lot of things are about a personal preference. And size of the penis is one of these things. Regardless of the size, penis is able to perform its duties and functions properly. However, men tend to have strong feelings about how big (or small) their penises are.

 

It seems that most men desire to be bigger.

 

And that the gentlemen who do have impressive cocks, get a deep sense of confidence and pride out of that fact. However, what is actually big enough? And what do women have to say about that?

 

According to research, huge majority of men fall into an average size group. The average penis measures 8-10cm flaccid and 12-14cm erect. And only a relatively small percentage of men are smaller or bigger than that.

 

Research also reports that an overwhelming majority of heterosexual women are satisfied with their partner’s size.

 

Most women also claim that the size of the penis doesn’t make any difference to their pleasure. Some of these women also mentioned that a smaller penis can be actually more pleasurable to them as a larger cock can cause painful friction or can hit the cervix located at the end of the vaginal canal.

 

Plus, men with shorter penises can be better equipped to stimulate the sensitive G-spot and to bring their lovers to delicious G-spot orgasms.

 

It seems that internet porn causes a lot of penis shaming.

 

Actors who are chosen for the roles typically are really well endowed and in many cases these penises are also digitally enhanced or injected with drugs that induce erections and enhance engorgement. When normal sized men compare themselves to the male porn stars, they tend to fall short, giving them a sense of inadequacy.

 

It breaks my heart every time I work in sessions with these men and hear their stories…

 

Let’s please stop shaming the penises for their size! All cocks are beautiful, capable and amazing. And after all, most women don’t care about the size of the penis as long as the man knows how to use it!

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10 Unusual Ways to Masturbate

10 Unusual Ways to Masturbate

The International Masturbation Month is in full swing and I think that it’s time to play with some new, fun ideas. I am fond of giving my clients homework (or is it home-play?…) and I hope that you’ll be tempted to try at least a few of these scenarios.

 

Most people I speak to always masturbate the same way.

 

We often form self-touch habits early in life and then keep stroking ourselves in fairly routine ways for years. How about you? Do you still touch yourself the same way you did 10-15 years ago?

 

This can be problematic because you can end up wiring your nervous system to respond to particular kind of stimulation, which can then unfortunately limit your sexual potential. So here are a few interesting ways to shake up your self-pleasure routine!

 

1/ Bath tub

Fill the tub with warm water and add Epson salts, essential oils, bubble bath, or anything else you like. Once you get in, warm water will deeply relax your entire body plus it will caress and stimulate your skin, adding an extra level of sensation to your experience. Touching and stroking yourself in that state will take you to a whole new level of delish!

 

2/ Mirror

Use a full-length mirror or a small hand-held mirror placed in front of genitals (or both!). This will allow you to see what you look like in arousal plus how your body is responding to your self-stimulation. Most people have never seen themselves when turned on and have no idea how hot they look!

 

3/ Vibrator on the body

Stimulating different parts of your body with a vibrator can be a lot of fun! Most people only use vibrators on their genitalia but using them to stimulate others body parts can be extremely pleasurable and arousing. For example, applying a vibrating toy to your chest will not only provide lovely stimulation there, it’ll also help your body send the arousal upwards, helping your sexual energy spread and expand.

 

4/ Vibrator on the anus

One of my teachers, Joseph Kramer, Ph.D., claims that stimulating the anal opening with a vibrator can induce trance-like states of bliss. How about testing this for yourself?

 

5/ External/internal anal massage

Speaking of the anus – when was the last time you gave yourself an anal massage? Make sure to use plenty of lubrication as the anus doesn’t produce any of its own. And be gentle with yourself – massage the anus externally in any way that feels delicious to you. And if you’re adventurous, you can venture inside. But remember – anal stimulation should never hurt. If it does, slow down, add more lube and be much, much gentler!

 

6/ Hands-free

Using hands to stroke ourselves can create tension in the body and can reduce your pleasure.

This is why going hands-free can be a lot of fun! But it requires a bit of preparation. If you’re a woman, you can attach a vibrator to a nightstand or a table and move your body on it in any way that feels good.

If you’re a man, you can attach a Fleshlight (or a similar toy) on an appropriate height that will allow you to thrust into it easily. If you don’t own a vagina-shaped toy, you can use a plastic bag with some lubricant in it. Sticky-tape it to any surface and thrust away!

 

7/ Use air

Use a fan or a fan-heater to stimulate your genital area with either cool or warm air. This can be extremely arousing but make sure to adjust the air temperature so it’s not too hot or not too cold!

 

8/ Water play

Shower heads can be absolutely exquisite as a source of sexual pleasure. If you can, adjust the water pressure to your liking and let warm water stroke, caress and massage your intimate bits. Because the sensations will be gentler than direct hand touch, this will provide a lot of teasing before you come!

 

9/ Dancing

Instead of masturbating on your bed, stand up, put lively music on and stroke yourself while dancing. Don’t think about how to move – nobody’s watching you anyways! You don’t have to show off any sexy dance moves. Instead, listen to your body and move in any way your body wants to move. You can shake, jump, bounce, stretch or flow. Whatever you do, stay connected to your arousal and your pleasure!

 

10/ Make a video

As you begin your masturbation session, set up the camera in your phone and hit “Record”. Do a show, enjoy yourself but don’t rush it! Take your time and slowly explore your eroticism in front of the camera. Nobody else needs to ever watch it (unless you show them). And the awareness of being recorded will give you a sense of being witnessed, which can be a huge turn-on for many!

 

 

But wait – that’s not the end! If you enjoyed this list, you’re going to LOVE my Masturbation Coaching online course. It’s a 7-week journey for both men and women who want to expand their sexual and orgasmic potential through a masterful self-touch. This program is full to the brim of tips, techniques and practices that will train your body to open up erotically and experience completely new types of orgasm!

 

To celebrate the Masturbation Month, the entire course is available at 50% off with coupon code ‘SelfLove’.

Enrol today and begin your journey towards the fullness of your sexual, erotic and orgasmic potential!

LEARN MORE

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I still remember my first ever breast-gasm, many years ago. It was beautiful, powerful and blissful. As my partner kept stimulating my breasts, the pleasure steadily grew in my chest area and then exploded through my entire body. Ripples and waves of sweet, orgasmic energy kept flowing through my system for a while. And the experience completely surprised me!

 

Most people I speak to and coach, have no idea that they can have and give each other orgasmic experiences located in different areas of their bodies. In bed, they usually focus touch and stimulation on the genitals. Even when there is some foreplay and some kissing involved, that kind of touch is considered an entrée before the main meal – meaning penetration or oral sex.

 

What we tend to forget is that the entire body is one big erogenous zone. And ecstatic pleasure can be stimulated to an orgasmic peak anywhere where the body is sensitive enough to feel pleasure. So how do you give your partner a breast-gasm?

 

1/ Create a space of relaxation

Preparing the space always helps – tidy up the room, bring in nice cushions, music, candles, incense sticks, etc. Once your partner makes herself comfortable, invite her to relax and then start caressing her entire body in a loving way. Use gentle, feather-light touch or soft, flowing strokes.

Let go of any goals, don’t expect anything specific to happen and allow her to surrender to your touch.

 

2/ Invite her to breathe

We all tend to get distracted, even in moments of pleasure. Active minds pull us away from the sensations present in the body and we miss out on the intensity. There is no way to have a blissful moment of ecstasy when the mind is occupied with something else.

So keep reminding her to breathe deeply, slowly. This will help her remain mindful of her pleasure, aware of all the intense and subtle sensations and energetic shifts.

 

3/ Tease her

Touch her breasts gently, lightly. Don’t start with the nipples. Start with feather-light strokes circling her breasts, each one separately and then both together. Allow your fingers to gently wander closer to the areola and then backing away. Nipples are very sensitive so don’t touch them too quickly.

Also, make sure to allow your hands to wander off of her breasts and down to her belly and legs and up to her neck, face and arms. This will encourage the pleasurable energy to keep spreading through her body.

 

4/ Nipple touch

When she’s ready for more, include nipples in your touch. Start with very gentle strokes, tracing the areola with a very light touch. Next you can move onto rolling her nipples between your fingers and then finally, to pinching them. This will release waves of pleasure hormones in her body. Make sure to keep varying your touch between lighter and firmer strokes.

 

5/ Keep edging

Edging is an amazing technique but you need to really pay attention to her body. Keep watching her, noticing her pleasure states. When she reaches high state of arousal, back off, remind her to breathe and move your touch away from her breasts. When she’s calm and relaxed again, build up more arousal and erotic charge in her breasts again.

Continuously dance between arousal and relaxation, allowing her to channel and experience her pleasure through her entire system.

 

6/ Encourage her to move

It might help her to move and undulate her body while you keep touching her. Relaxed movement combined with deep breath allow any pleasure sensations to grow and move through her system. You can further support that flow of energy by moving your strokes between her breasts and the rest of her body. Move her energy down her stomach and legs, up her arms and neck. And when it feels right to do so, let go of edging and allow her to fall into a deep state of orgasmic bliss.

 

This process should take at least half an hour. The longer you’ll tease and arouse her, the more powerful her breast-gasm will be. Quick, rushed sessions of breast touch are usually not enough to build her energy up enough for a powerful climax. So make sure to enjoy yourself. If you’re not having fun while touching her breasts, it’s not likely that she will!

If you want to learn more, check out my Tantric Mastery online course for men.

And if your lady struggles with her own sensuality and orgasmic ability, speak to her about my Orgasmic Empowerment course for women!

 

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Why Do I Lose My Erection At Times

A client asked me recently with hesitation and visible embarrassment: ‘Why do I lose erection sometimes?’. I appreciated the courage it took him to ask. This question arises in my sessions regularly, indicating just how common the problem is.

 

In fact, I have experienced this recently in my own life with a casual lover. We jumped in to bed together only to realize that despite mine and his efforts, his penis wouldn’t get hard. And since this wasn’t our first time together, I was not concerned. He was obviously still attracted to me and so his lack of erection was not a reflection on our connection.

 

He, on the other hand, was devastated.

 

I had to offer him a lot of loving support before he fully accepted that his body’s lack of reaction was really not an issue.

 

The first thing to understand is that men put a lot of pressure on themselves around their sexual performance – they expect themselves to produce an erection each time, to keep it rock-hard and to not lose it before they’re finished. On top of that, women add to the problem, expecting their men to be always ready, always erect, otherwise it’s surely a sign that ‘he’s not aroused by me anymore’… they assume. Men feel this pressure and start to stress if the body does not perform as expected – if they have a problem ‘getting it up’ or if they lose the erection half way through the lovemaking.

 

The biggest enemy of healthy, pleasurable, long-lasting lovemaking is tension.

 

When you’re anxious or tense, you’ll struggle to enjoy long, deep, sensual, intimate times with your partner or with yourself. Only once you relax and accept your body just the way it is, just the way it works, once you start to love and support it wholeheartedly, only then it’ll pay you back with strong arousal and powerful erections.

 

Please understand, your performance will be affected by many circumstances and situations – sometimes you’re stressed by work, annoyed by someone or simply tired and low on energy. For whatever reason, your body might not be ready to produce an erection and respecting it is an important part of being connected to your body and honouring its needs. If you keep forcing your body to perform and deliver every single time, you’ll notice more resistance which will stress you even more. And the vicious cycle continues…

 

Some men resort to Viagra which helps in short term but drains your body’s resources overall. Every time you ejaculate, you lose nutrients and energy that your body creates in order to form a new life – a baby. As you slowly build up arousal, you awaken a lot of sexual energy which allows your body to replenish these resources. When your erection is caused by a pill, there’s considerably lesser amount of sexual energy awakened but your still ejaculate, causing your body to become more and more drained, tired and stressed.

 

Lack of erection doesn’t necessarily equal no sex…

 

Soft penis is still a very sensitive penis and you can experience a lot of pleasure without an erection. You can even, with a bit of help from your partner and some lubricant, make love without a hard-on. And you might actually discover yourself getting hard as your body’s arousal and sexual energy start to build up naturally.

 

So give your body a break! Learn to love and accept it. Embrace yourself lovingly and offer yourself compassion and support. Think of your penis as a small child. If you treat it with anger and frustration, it will withdraw and back away even more, scared and rejected. But if you love and accept your body even through its challenges, it will start performing better and better, giving you more and more pleasure and satisfaction.

 

And if you’d like some practical tools and exercises to strengthen your erection, get in touch with me for a 1on1 session – in person or over Zoom.

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Breasts and Nipple-Gasms

Breasts and Nipple-Gasms

Josh was a very slow and attentive lover. In fact, whenever I was with him, the whole world just seemed to slow down, luxuriously basking in each moment, relaxing in an awareness that there was absolutely nowhere else to be and nothing else to do.

 

He adored my body and I adored his touch. I particularly enjoyed the attention he gave my breasts. He loved to caress them with his hands, lips and tongue. And he was not in a rush either. He was either fully aware of just how much stimulation a female body needs in order to build up enough arousal, or he was indeed enjoying himself so much he did not want to move on. In either case, what he was doing was working great!

 

I still remember the first time he gave me a nipple-gasm.

 

We were playing in his bed and he was really taking his time with my breasts. I was lying back and enjoying his touch. My body kept relaxing and opening up more and more to the pleasure he was giving me. I was letting out satisfied sounds and my body was gently undulating on the mattress.

 

My excitement was slowly building up as I felt strong, electric energy shooting down from my breasts to my genitals. I was absolutely loving the pleasure he was giving me; the stimulation was absolutely perfect. His touch was not too firm and not too light. I could feel myself getting wet while delicious heat was spreading through my vagina. I did not want him to stop!

 

And then it happened!

 

The erotic charge in my breasts exploded through my chest as the pleasure was almost too much to handle. A warm wave of a loving energy kept expanding through my system, starting in my heart and then rippling out through my body. I was mind-blown, I was in a trance, I was floating in a deeply orgasmic state as my whole body was trembling in ecstasy.

 

When I was finally able to control my muscles, I reached out and held Josh tight, his chest firmly pressed against mine, both of us swimming in the golden glow of my nipple-gasm.

 

Next time you are with your lover, make sure to spend more time with her breasts than you usually do.

 

Remember not to go for her nipples too quickly; they are very sensitive and will become much more ready for touch once she is aroused. Caress, massage and lick her breasts while checking in with her about the pressure and speed of the stimulation. Many men use way too much pressure on the breasts, which can actually turn her off. Women usually complain that their partners do not know how to touch their breasts, so keep seeking feedback.

 

Experiment with different kinds of touch and strokes. Be curious, ask her what she enjoys the most and how she touches her breasts herself. Learn about her breasts and about how they respond to stimulation. I promise that you will make your lover one extremely happy and satisfied woman!

 

– from “Legendary Lover: 6 Essential Steps to Having Great Sex” by Helena Nista

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