7 Juicy Steps to Make Her Wet

7 Juicy Steps to Make Her Wet

I often say to my clients that penetrative sex should never, ever, ever happen unless she is wet, juicy and aroused. Because without that beautiful wetness, sex will be most likely uncomfortable or even painful for her. Which will make orgasming or even enjoying sex in the first place quite challenging.

Just think about it: forcing an erect penis into a dry vagina… Yeah, it just doesn’t sound like fun!

And I’m sure that you as a man want to be an amazing lover and that you want to give your partner the most amazing, mind-blowing sexual experiences. Not the dry, uncomfortable kind of sex but the hot, lush, exciting, pleasurable and oh-so-wet kind of sex!

 

So what are the best ways to get a woman wet? 

Lubrication in the vagina is part of the sexual arousal process. The more aroused she gets, the more wet her pussy gets. It is, however, important to remember that women typically take more time to get aroused than men’s bodies do. Just because you as a man are ready to go, doesn’t mean that her body is the same.

This is important! If her pussy is wet, she’ll be much more likely to want to have sex with you. Simple: wet pussy means you have an aroused woman on your hands. And how delicious is that!

So what can you do to create juiciness in her vagina?

 

1/ How to use your words in the bedroom

Before you even get anywhere near her pussy, use your words to arouse, excite and seduce her. You can embrace her from behind, bring your lips very close to her ear and whisper something delicious: “your body is so beautiful and you turn me on so much”, “I can’t control myself around you”.

 

2/ Embrace the magic of kissing

Do not underestimate the magic and the power of kissing. Before you start kissing her, connect to your masculine desire, connect to your masculine essence. Really feel that desire in your body.

And when you approach her, start kissing her very softly, gently at first. Just brushing her lips with yours. Then going into more soft, wet, slow kisses. Building and building, and building until she’s ready for the more deep, more passionate kissing.

Many women I speak to find kissing absolutely essential to arousal so invest some time here into this step.

 

3/ Caress her entire body

Next start touching her body. Don’t go straight for her erogenous zones, actually start with her extremities first: her arms, her legs, her neck, her face, her thighs… These are all really great places to start stroking, caressing her.

Because female desire really works from the outside in. You have to work with the more external parts of her body first before she’s ready for her more primary erogenous zones (her breasts and her genitals) to be touched.

So don’t rush here! Build up the anticipation, take your time, caress her, lick her, stroke her… Really build up the pleasure and activation in her body.

 

4/ Hold her vulva

That very first moment when you touch her vulva is very important. Don’t go for anything too firm or too rushed. Actually what I would advise you to do is simply to cup her genital area, cup her vulva, with your hand and just hold it there, while you’re looking into her eyes or you’re kissing her.

So many women respond so well to this kind of touch. It allows them to get relaxed and to really surrender and soften into your touch and caresses.

After a few minutes of holding her pussy you can start gently moving your hand and just caressing and stroking using flat, firm pressure with your hand. Just really massaging the entire area. You can also follow that with very gentle, nice strokes all over her pussy, without targeting any particular spots at the moment. Just stroking her all over.

 

5/ Give her an amazing oral!

Gentlemen, oral sex is one of the top skills you should invest in if you want to be a masterful lover! Here’s a great video to help you out.

Giving her an amazing, mind-blowing, ecstatic, exciting oral sex experience is really going to help her build up that juiciness and that wetness that is so wonderful and so necessary for an amazing sex.

 

6/ How to tease her in bed

As you’re playing with her entire body and kissing her, and stroking her, and arousing her, make sure to tease her and to really play with that dynamic of build-up and relaxation.

This is magical! Every man and woman should know about this.

Every time you spend some time rubbing and stroking and kissing and being passionate and building up arousal in her body, follow that up with at least few moments of just slowness or even stillness, allowing her body to really integrate the pleasure and to soften into her excitement.

When you’re only building, building, building, building, you can overwhelm the body too quickly. But if you’re playing and teasing, between building and relaxing, and building and relaxing, that’s how the body gets to its most powerful depths of pleasure and orgasmic bliss.

 

7/ Ask her if she’s ready for more

After at least 30 minutes of this building and stroking, and caressing her, you can ask her if she’s ready for more, if she’s ready for the penetration. You can obviously also check with your finger, placing your finger at the entrance of her vagina and seeing how the wetness is going on there.

But you can also check in with her and ask her if she’s feeling ready. And even if she is, you can actually make her wait a bit longer. This is something that typically blows women’s minds because men are usually in such a rush to penetrate, to get inside, to get on with the sexual act. So for a man to say: “no, not yet, you’re not getting my cock in your pussy as yet”, that can be a tease and a beautiful surprise.

After that, you can go back to stroking her again or giving her oral sex again until she is the one begging you to get inside of her.

 

What if she doesn’t get wet naturally?

Sometimes what might happen is that she will feel ready and aroused but her pussy won’t be wet or it won’t be wet enough. This is normal and happens sometimes to all women, depending on their age and their health situation, whether they’ve been through menopause, and also on where they are in their monthly cycle.

So this is nothing to worry about. But in this situation you might need to apply an actual lubricant to her pussy or to your cock. So it is quite important to have a lubricant handy near your bed or wherever you’re playing, so that you can use it in situations like this.

 

Premature penetration issue…

Premature penetration is actually a real problem and no I’m not talking about premature ejaculation. I’m talking about premature penetration, meaning penetrating the woman too early, before she’s ready and good to go.

This is a real problem and a lot of women in my sessions mention uncomfortable or painful intercourse. And in most cases the reason is that she’s not ready yet, she’s not juicy yet, she’s not open and wet enough for you. 

So instead of risking being a premature penetrator and potentially causing your love pain or discomfort (or disappointment due to no climax), embrace the 7 juicy steps and make sure to make her wet, wet, wet! I have a feeling that you’ll enjoy the process as well… 

Helena Nista Sex Therapist
Hi! I'm Helena Nista

I help men, women, and couples experience deeper intimacy, more connected sex, and mind-blowing pleasure. Follow me on Social Media for more awesome Tantric tips, tricks, and techniques!

Average Penis Size & How to Increase It

Average Penis Size & How to Increase It

Some of the most common messages that land in my inbox request information about penis size and about increasing both the length and the girth of the penis. And since so many people still feel a lot of shame and embarrassment about discussing any sexual matters, most people don’t actually know what a normal or average penis size is. Or when an increase is actually needed. Or what are the best methods to grow the size of the man’s penis.

 

AND what penis size women actually prefer!

According to studies, penis size is the biggest concern that men typically have about their genitals. This issue has grown in recent years together with the popularity of porn because male porn actors are often chosen for the role due to their abnormally large penises. This can create an unrealistic image in the mind of the viewer about what a normal, standard or average penis size is. And this distorted view can then lead to a sense of insecurity or even anxiety about one’s own genitalia.

 

On top of that, we also tend to be surrounded by a media hype that “bigger is better”. And huge majority of men who do wish to be larger, have actually perfectly normal penises to begin with.

 

So, how big is an average sized penis?

 

When it comes to a flaccid penis, the average length sits at 3.6 inches or 9.2 cm. And the average circumference is 4.6 inch or 11.6 cm. And for an erect penis, the average length is 5.2 inches or 13.1 cm. The average circumference when erect is 4.6 inches or 11.6 cm.

 

HUGE majority of men fall within the average size. So, if you haven’t measured yourself yet, it’s very likely that you have a normal / average sized penis. But do by all means perform the measurement and let me know in the comments below how you went!

 

Please also bear in mind that the average size extends at least 1cm in each direction, meaning that while 5.2 inches or 13.1 cm is an average length of an erect penis, most men fall within the range of 12.1 – 14.1 cm and they’re still considered average in size.

 

The extreme penises (both large and small) are very rare

 

On the larger side, only about 2.5% of men have penises that are larger than 6.9 inches or 17.5cm.

 

And on the smaller side of the spectrum are men with a penis smaller than 2.9 inches or 7.5cm. These are considered micropenises and account for less than 1% of the population.

 

So before you give in to the larger is better hype, measure yourself and check the facts. Because the ideas popularised by media can hurt your body image and your inner sense of satisfaction as a man  and as a lover.

 

And before I tell you how to make your penis larger (if that’s what you choose to do), let’s look at what women actually prefer.

 

Just as all penises are different and unique, so are vaginas. Some women have longer vaginal canals while many have reasonably short ones. An average vaginal canal is a little shorter than an average penis. So keep that in mind when dreaming about a giant penis. Most women will not be able to accommodate you and you’ll likely end up hurting them.

 

A lot of women in my sessions, talk about experiencing pain during intercourse. And that pain is caused by the head of the penis hitting the cervix which is the back wall of the vagina. On top of that some sexual activities are actually much easier to perform and enjoy with a smaller penis, like for example anal sex. Or deep throating.

 

So while your ego might be craving a boost of a large manhood, your woman will likely thank you for keeping things average in size. Painful sex caused by a large penis will not be pleasurable for her and make her lose interest in having intercourse with you.

 

Having said that, some women do have longer vaginal canals and can enjoy a larger penis very much! But even they tend to say that it’s mainly the girth or thickness of the penis that is responsible for most pleasure and not necessarily the length. This is because the vaginal walls love the pressure. Plus it’s the first THIRD of the vagina that is most rich in nerve endings and capable of producing most pleasure for your lady.

 

But if after all that, you’re still sure you want to look into penis enlargement options, let’s see what’s possible.

 

Penis enlargement methods 

 

There are surgical and non-surgical options. The non-surgical methods include penile extenders and vacuum erection devices that can be used at home. The idea here is to stretch the penis over time until it becomes permanently longer. However, according to men who have used them in the past, none or barely any increase was actually noticed.

 

So this kind of treatment can cost of a lot of time, effort and discomfort for no results whatsoever.

 

When it comes to surgical penis enlargement methods, you could opt for a phalloplasty which involves cutting the ligaments that attach the penis to the pubic bone in order to let the penis hang more outside of the body. Or there are also penile injections that are meant to increase the circumference of the penis.

 

A word of warning here – a lot of men who have undergone these procedures, report very low level satisfaction with the outcome. And many others have been actually disfigured and had required a follow-up surgery to correct issues like scarring, lumps on the penis and erections that point downwards rather than up.

 

I truly believe that when it comes to the size, shape and function of our bodies, nature knows best! So any attempts at correcting it, carry a lot of risk, in terms of ending up with something worse than you started with.

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How to Finger a Woman

How to Finger a Woman

In my life I’ve received some exquisite fingering sessions from my lovers. And also some really, really bad ones… So today I’m bringing to you all of that wisdom, experience and insight in my comprehensive guide on fingering a woman!

 

There are absolutely amazing things you can do to a woman’s genital area when using your hands and fingers skilfully

 

You can excite her, you can tease her, you can arouse her, you can bring her to blissful states of ecstasy and to powerful orgasms.

 

When used well, your hands can play her pussy like an instrument, taking her up and down to different levels of pleasure and arousal, your fingers can guide her towards a land of promises of delights to come and then you can keep her right at the edge of that place, without quite taking her there.

 

 

When done well, this will drive her mad with desire and will make her beg you for more.

 

But for most men, the vulva (meaning the external parts of female genitalia) is a mysterious place and they don’t have a map or any kind of guidance to navigate that area well.

 

All the parts and female genital anatomy are deeply sensitive and receptive to pleasure so keep that in mind when you’re fingering her. It’s not just about the clit! There’s much more you can do when massaging her pussy.

 

1/ your intention

So first of all, be clear on your intention here. Don’t finger her pussy from any sort of place of neediness or your own horniness. Don’t do it with an agenda of getting her to repay the favour afterwards.

 

She will feel your energy and it will make her feel like she can’t fully receive your touch. So instead give from a place of generosity and love. Let go of any agenda and simply finger her for the sake of giving her pleasure.

 

2/ relax her

Have her lie down comfortably and start by gently stroking her entire body. This doesn’t need to take a lot of time but will be helpful in creating a much more pleasurable experience for her.

 

And every time you touch and stroke her skin, imagine that you’re making love to her body with your hands and fingers.

 

3/ external strokes

When you’re ready to start touching her pussy, play with the following external strokes. And absolutely make sure to use a quality organic lubricant here. Her lady parts will not respond well to a dry hand. My favourite is coconut oil but make sure to ask her what she prefers:

  • Holding still – place a flat hand on top of her entire vulva and hold still,
  • Vibration – as above but gently vibrate your hand,
  • Circular massage – this doesn’t involve any friction, simply place your hand on her vulva and make slow circular strokes with your hand, moving all her yummy bits together with your palm,
  • Kneading the outer lips – knead and massage each lip separately,
  • Kneading her inner lips – knead each inner lip separately or both together,
  • 3 fingers stroke – middle finger between her inner lips and 2 other fingers in the grove between each inner and outer lip; next stroke gently and very slowly up and down – from above her clit all the way down to her perineum,
  • Tour de France – with the pad of your index finger, gently trace the grove between her inner and outer lip all the way up from the perineum to up above the clit and then come back on the other side; repeat the entire loop a few times;
  • Through the lips – hold her clitoris between the folds of her inner and outer lips and gently massage with your fingers,
  • Clit clock – imagine that her clit is a face of a clock and gently massage with little circles each o’clock.

 

Make sure to be really slow with all of these strokes and with some of them introduce some variety in terms of speed, pressure and location of your fingers. Use your judgement here and keep watching her body’s response.

 

When she’s relaxed, breathing deeply and is lost in her pleasure, you are on the right track!

 

4/ internal strokes

When you’ve taken a good care of her external bits, you can go inside.

  • Vaginal entrance – spend some time here massaging the entrance,
  • G-spot – insert one or two fingers up to your second knuckle and push and massage up towards her stomach,
  • Outer third – the outer third of her vaginal canal is most sensitive so explore this entire area well,
  • Deep massage, including cervix – once you’re done with the outer third, go deeper,
  • Combine external and internal strokes (G-spot and clit go particularly well together).

 

5/ enjoy yourself

All of these strokes and more will give her a heightened experience of pleasure and erotic activation so it really is a powerful thing to give your woman a great fingering session. But one last important bit of my advice is to make sure that you’re enjoying yourself!

 

If you’re bored or resentful that you have to do something for her. Or if your heart just isn’t in it, she will feel it and it will reduce her own enjoyment of your touch.

 

So learn to enjoy this process. Remember that touch is always 2-directional, meaning that when you’re stroking her, you’re also experiencing her skin on your hands and fingers. This can be a very arousing, fun and delightful experience!

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How to Orgasm Without Ejaculation

How to Orgasm Without Ejaculation

Can men orgasm without ejaculation? Why would they want to do it? And what non-ejaculatory orgasms have to do with tantric orgasms and being a multi-orgasmic men? Don’t go anywhere because I’ve got it all here!

 

Let’s talk about ejaculation!

 

It’s highly pleasurable, it helps relieve stress and tension, it helps you sleep and medical doctors claim that it’s beneficial for the health of your prostate.

 

However, many men tell me about side effects of releasing semen and particularly when they’re releasing it frequently. For most men that climax of pleasure is followed by a sense of fatigue, being drained, by a foggy brain and lack of motivation.

 

Also, for most men ejaculation means the end of sexual intercourse because of the refractory period that prevents them from getting hard again for a while

 

This can be frustrating for many men who would love to be able to make love for much longer. The refractory period can last between a few minutes and a few days, depending on your age, health and overall wellbeing.

 

So what’s the alternative. Well, I’m glad that you asked!

 

According to tantric practitioners, any man can learn to separate the experience of orgasm from the experience of ejaculation. These two are in fact two separate phenomena that usually occur for men together.

 

Ejaculation is the pleasurable squirting of the semen while orgasm is a release of the arousal, of sexual energy that was built up during intercourse or masturbation

 

When a man is ejaculating, that external flow of semen, will typically pull all of his sexual energy out with it. This is why men typically lose a lot of energy during ejaculation and feel quite deflated afterwards.

 

However, when a man can orgasm without ejaculating, he can allow that delicious orgasmic force to implode internally inside of his body, giving him an experience of expanded, full-body ecstasy.

 

Orgasming without ejaculation means also that you as a man can keep going in bed for as long as you want because there’s no refractory period

 

You can keep your erection after each orgasm and you can keep penetrating your woman. This in turn is a true treat for your lady because most women struggle to orgasm or experience sexual satisfaction if the man can’t last long enough.

 

The biggest issue with experiencing full-body orgasms is the conditioning most men have around sex. Particularly porn trains us to think of ejaculation as a natural conclusion of a sexual experience.

 

I’ve even had some clients ask me in my sessions whether it’s harmful for them to NOT ejaculate during sex. And let me re-assure you – no, it’s not harmful at all. It might just be uncomfortable if you leave sexual energy in your pelvis, in your sex centre. Because that energy is potent and powerful and it’ll need to either be released externally or spread out internally through your body.

 

So what are non-ejaculatory orgasms and how to have them?

 

An orgasm without ejaculation, also known as an expanded orgasm, full-body orgasm, energy orgasm, valley orgasm or tantric orgasm, is a very blissful experience where your sexual energy is released internally in your body.

 

Imagine your erotic pleasure, the way you feel it in your cock when you’re hard and aroused. Imagine that electric, blissful energy spreading out and vibrating in your entire body. NOT with that pressing sense of urge to be released but with a sense of trance-like ecstasy.

 

Tantric men who learn to orgasm without ejaculation describe going into altered states of consciousness where the pleasure is so blissful and divine, that the ejaculation completely pales in comparison

 

In addition, full-body orgasms last much longer and leave you feeling nurtured, satisfied and deeply energized. They fuel your creativity, your clarity of thinking, your sense of masculine charisma and your wellbeing.

 

In order to have them, you need to learn to hold sexual energy in your body. So instead of thrusting quickly, forcefully or mechanically, slow down, notice all the pleasure and savour it in your body.

 

Here my video on Edging for Stronger orgasms will be very helpful so make sure to check it out!

 

And if you’re ready to go all the way and become a tantric lover yourself, you should definitely check out my Tantric Mastery for Men online course. It will teach you everything you need to know in order to last as long as you want, experience full-body non-ejaculatory orgasms and be a multi-orgasmic man.

 

But a few quick tips here are:

 

1/ don’t overstimulate your body,

Fast pace and friction will lead to high levels of excitement which will take you into ejaculation fairly quickly. So don’t overstimulate your body. Slow down the penetration, notice the sensations in your body, and enjoy the pleasure and arousal without needing to release it quickly.

 

2/ stop chasing orgasm

Forget the orgasm and enjoy sex for the sake of pleasure. There’s much more to intercourse than ejaculation so train yourself to keep noticing all the sensations, to stay connected to your body, to your partner and to your intimate experience together.

 

3/ relax the pelvic floor muscles

Tension holds sexual energy in your penis. So make sure to consciously relax your pelvic floor muscle in order to allow that energy to flow up through your entire body.

 

4/ breathe deeply

Deep breath with a sigh on the exhale… will help you feel more pleasure and will actively pull your arousal out of your genital area and into the rest of your body.

 

5/ feel your entire body

Make sure to also touch and caress the rest of your body. Or ask your lover to do that. As long as your attention is firmly kept in your cock, that’s where the sexual energy will stay. So make sure to pay attention to your entire system and feel all of your erogenous zones.

 

I hope that you loved this article and that it inspired you to experience non-ejaculatory orgasms for yourself as well. Please don’t forget to check out my online course Tantric Mastery for Men!

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How to Overcome Porn Addiction

Porn addiction – what is it? How to know if you’re addicted? What to do about it? Is there a cure? How can you overcome it? Stick around – I’m going to address all of that!

 

I regularly work with men who struggle with porn use and porn addiction

 

Some men who come to see me are self-proclaimed addicts. Others simply want to learn to reduce their porn usage or to stop it completely.

 

And there are fairly consistent reasons for their desire to quit porn. These men mention feelings of shame and guilt, they tell me about the negative effects of porn on their sexual performance like premature ejaculation or erectile difficulty. Watching porn often affects their mood, their focus and their overall wellbeing. And on top of all that, their relationships often suffer.

 

I really want to point out here that porn in itself isn’t good or bad

 

Watching porn isn’t always harmful. Many couples can successfully use it to bring a new sizzle and spark into their bedroom routine, particularly in long-term relationships. Many single people can use it to create more pleasure, arousal and fun for themselves.

 

Porn is just a tool and all comes down to HOW we use it. If we use it in ways that negatively affect our lives and our relationships, then that becomes a problem. Plus, porn can be highly addictive which is why so many people struggle with it.

 

So first of all, how can you tell if you’re addicted to porn?

 

1/ tolerance to porn

Is your tolerance to porn increasing? Are you finding yourself spending more and more time watching porn? Or have you started seeking more shocking or extreme type of porn videos?

 

2/ withdrawal symptoms

How do you feel when you don’t watch porn for a while? Are you experiencing frustration, irritability, anxiety, do you struggle to focus or to remain clear-minded?

 

3/ controlling your use

Are you able to control your porn usage? Do you use it more than you’d ideally like to?

 

4/ your wellbeing

Is watching porn affecting your mood, your clarity of mind, your wellbeing, the quality of your sleep, your daily life, your effectiveness in performing tasks – both at home and at work?

 

5/ desire to cut down

Are you feeling disappointed with yourself? Are you experiencing a desire to cut down your porn watching habit?

 

6/ secrecy

Are you hiding your porn use from others in your life? Do you feel like you need to sneak around in order to watch porn?

 

If you answered ‘Yes’ to at least some of these questions, that means that you might have a problem. But don’t worry, there are different things that you can do about it!

 

I’m going to break down my tips into two groups. First of all, the mindset changes and shifts you can create to reduce or end your porn watching habit. And secondly, practical things you can do while you’re watching porn which will help you wean yourself off porn over time.

 

A/ the mindset

 

So whenever you feel tempted to watch porn, think about how you will feel afterwards. Because yes, porn will give you a temporary pleasure, but it will probably make you feel shit about yourself afterwards.

 

Is it worth it? Is giving in to porn worth the shame, guilt, headache, low mood, foggy brain, poor sleep, etc? Or will you be better off walking away from it?

 

Also remember that the more you walk away from porn, the easier it will become to leave it. This is because you’ll start forming and strengthening new neural connections in your brain, allowing you to more easily give up the porn watching habit.

 

Make sure to also create more rewarding habits in your life to replace porn. Ultimately, you reach for porn because you want that hit of dopamine, of pleasure. Because you’re feeling low, stressed, lonely, depressed, etc. in the moment.

 

And porn offers a quick fix. However, you can reach for other rewarding behaviours like exercise, catching up with a friend, watching an entertaining movie, investing in self-improvement books, articles, workshops, etc.

 

All these things will also give you pleasure, but without the heavy burden of a bad mood, poor sleep or lower quality relationships in your life. So it’s a matter of swapping certain habits and behaviours (in this case watching porn) for other habits that will increase your wellbeing and make you feel good about yourself.

 

B/ new way to watch porn

 

If you can quit porn cold turkey, then good on you! This second part won’t concern you. However, if you’re struggling with that radical approach and you’re still finding yourself giving in to pornography, here are some tips to wean you off porn over time.

 

1/ stand up

People usually watch porn while laying or sitting down. This means that they cannot really move their bodies much. So you’re going to do something different. You’re going to stand up and place your phone or laptop at the level of your face. This will allow you to actually move your entire body as you’re masturbating.

 

2/ conscious breath

Stay connected to your body. Instead of losing yourself in the images on your screen, use your breath to stay connected to the sensations in your body. Make sure to make your breath deeper, slower, more relaxed. A conscious breath will help you stay more embodied.

 

3/ shift your attention

Every few minutes, pause the porn movie, turn away from the screen and continue masturbating, while paying a close attention to the pleasure in your body. After 5 breaths or so, you can come back to watching porn.

 

Part of the problem with porn is that it puts us in a sort of a trance, numbs us down and pulls us away from reality

 

This is why this alternating approach – where you’re moving your attention between porn on the screen and the physical sensations in your body – will start to retrain and recondition your body and mind to stay in your physical reality.

 

Over time, try to reduce the amount of time you’re watching porn in each session and keep increasing the amount of time you’re pausing porn and masturbating without it. This is a very powerful approach to help you let go of the need to watch porn.

 

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Do Women Like Sex

Do Women Like Sex

When I work with couples, an issue that arises very often is that the female partner loses her sex drive and her interest in sex. This is obviously not the case of every single couple, however, this comes up often enough to wonder what is really behind it. And whether women actually like sex.

I guess the topic of female sexual desire and her sex drive is very close to my heart

In many of my past relationships, I was the one who was struggling to keep up with my partner’s libido. It seemed that he frequently wanted sex and that not a lot of things could reduce his desire for a regular intercourse.

For me, however, things were much more tricky. For a variety of reasons, I would struggle to desire sex or to feel aroused in the act. And since arousal and lubrication are very important components of a satisfying intercourse, I would often experience pain or discomfort during sex, which then was making it even more difficult for me to desire it. And so it was a bit of a vicious cycle in that way.

So do women actually like sex? Or do they prefer to forget all about it?

The short answer is – yes, women do like sex. More than that – they have a deep capacity to love sex and to enjoy incredibly mind-blowing orgasms (some say that even much stronger than male orgasms).

In fact, woman’s body is deeply sensual and her erotic potential is rich, multi-layered and blissful. But! There is a number of factors that need to be taken into account here.

1/ Emotional connection 

In any romantic relationship, sexual connection is very strongly linked to the emotional connection between partners. It’s tricky to want to have sex if at the same time you’re thinking “He wants to have sex with me after what he did?”.

Accumulating resentment is something that happens in all relationships and if we don’t address these emotional issues, they’re only going to get deeper. This is why taking care of your emotional connection first is an absolute must to nurture and cultivate a healthy and passionate intimacy in the bedroom.

This means talking about any emotional hurt or disconnect. It means actively taking care of your partner’s needs to create a deep sense that you both are there for each other, no matter what. When that kind of connection is nourished and maintained, it’ll be much easier for her to feel sexual desire for you.

2/ Inhibitions

Most modern women grew up with some kind of unhealthy conditioning around sex. Many women still believe that there’s something inherently wrong about wanting, desiring or enjoying sex. There’s that unhealthy disconnect between a woman being a wife / mother and a sexual goddess.

While the truth is that women can be both at the same time. She doesn’t need to repress her lust or eroticism in order to play well her role in the family. But women need to recognize that first in order to overcome the conditioning.

3/ Sexual trauma

About 1 in 5 women has experienced sexual abuse at some point in her life. And almost all women know closely someone who is a victim of sexual assault. Sexual wounding and trauma, whether physical, emotional, spiritual or mental can leave a powerful mark on the victim for many, many years which will keep interfering with her healthy sexual expression.

Sexual trauma can be treated but in most cases it will require a support of a qualified therapist. So it’s crucial to understand the possible impact of her past on her current libido and sex drive.

4/ Lack of self-knowledge

A lot of women don’t actually understand their own bodies and needs when it comes to their sexuality. Many women have watched porn and try to have sex like men. Which is a problem because women and men are different when it comes to their sexual response.

On top of that, these women don’t know what to ask for in bed and they get poor quality sex. And so when their male lovers don’t understand how to truly satisfy a woman and simply concentrate on their own needs or on how they as men want to have sex, this just creates a very unfulfilling experience for a woman.

5/ Not enough self-activation

What’s connected with that is the fact that many women don’t masturbate consciously or don’t masturbate at all. And hence, they don’t understand their own erogenous zones or how to activate them.

While women who regularly touch and explore their bodies, who take the time to self pleasure, to fully active their erotic potential, women who can give themselves full-body, expanded, blissful orgasms, these women can have much more fulfilling sex with their male partners. These women know what to ask for, they know what they need and so they can create sexual experiences that are deeply satisfying and nurturing for them.

Please let me know in comments below if you resonate with this topic and what your experiences have been when it comes to women’s sex drive, whether you’re a man or a woman. I’m very curious to hear if you’ve ever struggled with sexual desire and what you did about it.

 

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