The Truth About Erections

The Truth About Erections

We all know that the body changes with age. The skin becomes thinner and starts to wrinkle, the digestion slows down, muscles become weaker, hair thinner, bellies rounder… Yet we think that erections are outside of the influence of aging. They are not!

 

A man in his thirties will discover that his body is not as prone to spontaneous erections as it was when he was a teenager or in his early twenties.

 

He will also discover that, on occasion, he might not actually be able to have an erection when he wants to. Past the age of forty, this tendency will become even stronger as guaranteed erections become a thing of the past. He will be definitely able to have an erection, but not every single time. His erections will not be as strong anymore either.

 

Many men come to me asking me to help them have a rock-hard erection for hours. And as much as I can help them strengthen their erections, it is a myth and an unrealistic expectation to be this hard for this long.

 

In my experience as a woman and as a Tantra practitioner, erections come and go.

 

Making love for hours does not mean penetrating her with a rock-hard penis the entire time. I actually think that it would be quite boring if it was the case!

 

In Tantra, sex does not equal intercourse. Penetration is just one of the aspects of lovemaking. Tantric sex consists of connecting intimately, of becoming present together, of setting an intention, of breathing in sync, of caressing, touching, kissing, circling energy between your bodies, using erotic massage, opening your hearts and delving deep into each other. It is a playful connection of two bodies, two minds, two hearts and two souls. It is a deep exploration of each other in the space of a sacred union. It is a session of worship and of honouring each other’s body. It is a sensual ritual of intimate connection without a script or a goal.

 

As Deej Juventin from the Institute of Somatic Sexology taught me, once you start to grow older “it is not just about your hard cock anymore”.

 

In your teenage years and early twenties, your body is biologically primed to produce an offspring, so erections are strong, frequent and easy. You can ejaculate often and the refractory period is reasonably short. Your body’s focus is in your pants to the point where it can get annoying.

 

With age, this focus shifts to your heart. Your body does not want to connect with a woman only through an erection anymore. You start to appreciate the finer aspects of your relationship with her, you start to look for that special spark in her eye, you start having deep and meaningful conversations with her and you actually enjoy them instead of simply waiting to have sex with her. You take her dancing, and delight in watching her body twirl and bend in a sensual joy of movement and flow.

 

So please stop worrying so much about your erection and your performance. If she walks out of your life because you did not have a rock-hard erection for an hour, she was not worth your time or your affection.

 

– excerpt from “Legendary Lover: 6 Essential Steps to Having Great Sex”

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5 Must-try Masturbation Moves for Him

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How to Give Her What She Truly Desires

How to Give Her What She Truly Desires

Do you make assumptions in life? I bet that you do simply because… we all do! And a lot of the assumptions we make are supportive and help us function safely and happily in the world. But there are also a lot of unhealthy, untrue and toxic beliefs we form, often about our romantic and intimate lives, that harm us and our relationships.

Let me show you what I mean.

 

I recently got an email from one of the students of my Tantric Mastery for Men online course:

“I was on a date last week and was giving this girl a Yoni massage based on your video course.

How do I ask for feedback without appearing less confident?

I was told by the girl that when a guy asks for feedback – it shows he is not confident in his sexual ability. How can I manage this?”

 

My answer to him was:

“A lot of women seem to think that men should know everything about sex and about touching women. This assumption is wrong and unhelpful, particularly since every woman is different and likes to be touched differently.

It might be helpful to explain this to your date so that she understands your reasons for seeking her feedback.

So don’t stop asking! You will never learn how to please every single woman and it’s not your job to do so.

Your job is to learn the body of the woman you are with.

And you can only do that while touching her, seeking her feedback and learning her erotic anatomy.”

 

I find this point really important – you can learn how to give her a tantric massage, you can learn to stroke her body like a pro, you can learn how to connect with her deeply and intimately (you’ll learn all of that and more in the Tantric Mastery online course)…

BUT every single woman is different and will respond differently to these strokes and caresses. Most women will find them mind-blowing, others – simply pleasurable. Other women still will require a slight change in order to enjoy them fully.

So your job as a lover is never to be a master at pleasuring every single woman. That task would be impossible to achieve and unreasonable to expect of you. Your job is simply to become a master at pleasuring the woman you’re with – and that will require a lot of communication.

 

Most of my clients find sexual communication and seeking feedback in bed quite tricky.

This is why I included a special section in the Tantric Mastery course, teaching you simple yet very effective techniques to communicate better with each other in order to find the most perfect way to touch your lover. But you can also simply have a conversation about your likes, dislikes and preferences in bed. And it might be much more fun than you’d expect it to be!

Because it’s much better to give your partner 5 minutes of what they really, really want, than to give them 30 minutes of what you think they want!

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5 Must-try Masturbation Moves for Him

5 Must-try Masturbation Moves for Him

I hope that you enjoyed my last week’s article about must-try masturbation moves for her. This week we’re going to look at HIS self-pleasure and things that men can do to enhance their experience and to create mind-blowing intensity of orgasmic pleasure.

 

What’s important to remember here is that we are all different and that we all have different preferences. And masturbation is an amazing way to learn about your own unique erogenous zones and your own unique style of enjoying erotic pleasure. But having said that, there are things that huge majority of men find extremely pleasurable, things that are reported to bring intense, toe-curling orgasms and earth-shaking sexual experiences. Let’s explore 5 such techniques here:

 

1/ Switch your hands

Most guys always masturbate using the same hand. It can be really fun to try self-pleasuring with your other hand. This little tip can potentially create a bit of awkwardness at first but also a lot of newness in your self-pleasuring experience. It might feel like making love to someone for the first time! Stay present with whatever you’re feeling and notice what this technique can teach you about your pleasure and arousal. You might discover new, extremely pleasurable ways to touch yourself!

 

2/ Vibrator on anus

One of my teachers, Joseph Kramer PhD, claims that a vibrator stimulating the anus can induce trance-like states of bliss.

What can I say… I guess you’ll just have to try it!

 

3/ Endless stimulation

This technique can produce absolutely mind-blowing results, provided you give it the time that it requires. Start by bringing yourself to the point of erection but NOT too close to orgasm. Once there, fully relax the muscles of your pelvic floor and anus. You might need to squeeze them first to locate them. Keep the muscles of your anus and the muscles at the base of your penis completely relaxed, as you cup the head of your penis in one hand. Next, begin massaging the head of the penis (and ONLY the head of the penis) in a circular motion. Keep going. Even when you start feeling extremely aroused, keep going. Don’t touch the rest of your penis, don’t tense up your muscles. Keep massaging the head of the penis while remaining completely relaxed.

Your erotic energy will start to expand and move through your entire body, you will feel it flowing upwards through your system and it will feel amazing. Still, just keep going, don’t change anything and stay with this technique for at least 30 minutes. Whenever you get close to orgasm, slow down the stroke (or even take your hand off, if you need to) and simply relax and breathe until your energy calms down. And then keep going again.

When you finally orgasm, the experience will blow your socks off!

 

4/ Oil massage

This is a simple technique that produces extremely yummy results. A lot of men I speak to masturbate with a dry hand. If that’s your case, purchase good quality coconut oil and treat your genitalia to a delicious massage. And don’t just rub your hand up and down your penis. Play with different strokes and caresses, vary the pressure and speed. Experiment with what feels good and try using one or both hands. Explore different kinds of strokes: circles, twists, squeezes, … Just remember to be gentle with your penis and to also include your testicles. If you’re stuck for ideas, in my Masturbation Coaching course you’ll find a long list of different genital strokes to play with.

This massage can last for hours and will produce an unforgettable orgasm!

 

5/ Perineum caress

Perineum is a sensitive area between your balls and your anus. A lot of men enjoy a gentle stimulation of that area while they’re rubbing their cock. Try massaging your perineum with your spare hand, caressing it, or even scratching it with your fingernails. Experiment with different pressures and kinds of touch to see what works best for you!

 

I’ve been working hard for the last few weeks and the Masturbation Coaching online course is finally finished! So if you want to learn more, the entire course is currently available at a heavily discounted price. But be aware that the discount will only last for 7 days after release! Use this code to access the discount: SELFLOVE

I look forward to supporting you in creating the most mind-blowing masturbation practice you have ever experienced!

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10 Top Tips to Give a Mind-Blowing Oral

10 Top Tips to Give a Mind-Blowing Oral

Have you ever met a man who didn’t enjoy receiving oral sex? If you have, please let me know because he’s truly unique!

But when it comes to ladies and the art of cunnilingus, there is a lot that can stand in the way of her ability to receive oral touch and to surrender to trance-like states of blissful orgasms.

This is why today’s video is aimed at all the wonderful men who are keen to learn more about this exquisite art of giving a woman pleasure. After many years of studying AND practicing sex, I came up with 10 top tips for a state of art cunnilingus.

Watch my video to learn more and then bring all the tips into your cunnilingus session! I can assure you that you will blow her socks off!… You can thank me later 😉

 

 

P.S. I go much deeper into the art of pleasuring a woman in my Legendary Lover course for men. Make sure to check it out if you’re committed to becoming an extraordinary lover!

 

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How to Last Longer in Bed

How to Last Longer in Bed

Imagine entering the dance floor just as your favourite song begins to play. You feel pleasurable excitement in your body and the joy shines through your eyes and through your big, big smile. You can’t help but dance as the music begins to flow through your ears and through your entire system. You feel delight and an almost euphoric bliss. You’re giving in to the music completely, losing yourself in the ecstatic energy of the song. Nothing else exists, you’re completely lost in your experience. You’re flowing, dancing, laughing…

And then suddenly, after only 30 seconds or so, the music stops. Your body comes to an unexpected halt and you look up at the DJ with confusion. You want to keep going but the music is not coming back. Due to technical difficulties, the DJ decides to turn his equipment off. The party is over.

You’re feeling disappointed and let down. The crowd booes disapprovingly and then slowly disperses. There’s nothing left to do but go home.

If you’re a man who has experienced premature ejaculation, you know exactly the feeling. You resonate with the buildup of joy, excitement and pleasure energy. And then the disappointment of a much too quick release. You are not finished, you have barely begun! Yet the body says – it’s over, time to go home.

If you’re a woman, this might give you a bit of an idea of what many men dread.

Premature ejaculation is a phenomenon that A LOT of men struggle with. It’s not fun and nobody teaches us how to overcome it. Modern society offers us ineffective, short-term solutions (pills, creams, thinking about grandma…) but not many people seem to know what else can be done.

A lot of these men feel incredibly inspired when they learn that they can use simple tantric techniques not only to address the problem on the night but to actually RETRAIN their bodies to never suffer from premature ejaculation again.

Watch my video below to see how you too can train your body to make love for much longer using just two simple steps.

 

 

PS. I go into much more detail about the techniques of sexual mastery for men in my Tantric Mastery online course. Check it out to see if it’s the right fit for you! xxx

 

Video content:

One of the questions I address most often as a sex coach is “How to last longer in bed”. Men from all ages, backgrounds and life situations, want to learn to master their arousal and to develop an ability to make love to their partners for much longer. So let me tell you what I share with them in response.

 

What conventionally happens in our bodies as we get aroused, is two things: tension and constriction. We tense up our bodies, particularly our pelvic area and upper legs. And we constrict our breathing.

BTW, this information is in this case aimed at men, but will also help women who want to expand their orgasmic ability and who want to support their partners to last longer in bed!

 

So we’re getting aroused, the sexual tension is building up in the body, particularly when we’re approaching an orgasm. And an interesting thing is that this muscle tension is almost involuntary. Pay attention when you’re with a lover next time and you’ll see what I mean!

At the same time we tend to shorten our breathing. The breath becomes shorter, sharp or we even hold the breath as we’re getting close to the climax.

 

And all this muscle tension and breath constriction is locking your sexual energy, your arousal, in your genitals. As a result, fairly quickly there’s a lot of erotic charge and excitement in one area of your body – your genitals. At that point the body will likely go: “I can’t hold this charge, there is too much tension, I need to release it!” And that’s exactly what happens – the tension is released, you ejaculate.

 

In order to last much longer, tantric lovers do something very different – they consciously relax their bodies and deepen their breath. They pay particular attention to the area of the pelvis and let go of any muscle tension held there, they really relax and sort of ‘open up’ their genital region. So as they keep moving their bodies, as they keep making love, they do it without any clenching or holding in their muscles. They also continue taking deep, full breaths flowing all the way down to the belly.

 

I teach my clients a technique called ‘circular breath’. It’s a breath where you take deep abdominal breaths without any pauses between inhales and exhales. So as an inhale is ending, an exhale begins and as an exhale is ending, an inhale begins. There’s no holding of breath and there are no gaps between the in-breaths and the out-breaths. The breath is flowing continuously like a circle.

 

So as you’re relaxing your body and as you’re breathing deeply, your sexual energy will actually start flowing away from your genitals and circulating through your entire system. And this is extremely helpful in training your body to last much longer in bed. This is also the first step to experiencing full-body orgasms. And it feels amazing!

 

Please, take this simple tantric exercise into your bedroom and practice. This practice will not only train you to master your arousal and erection. It will also help you to build and expand your experience of erotic pleasure so that you can feel that wonderful pleasure not only in your genitals, but also throughout your entire system.

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Can Men Have Multiple Orgasms

Can Men Have Multiple Orgasms

“I am learning so much from your online course! I now have full control and only ejaculate when I want to. And my sensitivity is increasing daily. Amazing stuff! :-)”

 

This is a message I received from one of the students of my online courses. Messages like that land in my mailbox on a regular basis, both from men and women, and fill my heart with gratitude and excitement every single time. It’s time we smashed sexual repression and claimed our right to fully orgasmic, blissful sex, whenever we want it!

 

So today I’m answering a question that I often encounter as a Tantra practitioner:

 

Can men have multiple orgasms?

Is it something they can practice and master?

Or do multiple orgasms belong in women’s bodies?

 

A lot of people misunderstand this concept and presume that I’m talking about men ejaculating more often and becoming drained of their energy. But that’s not what is meant by a multi-orgasmic man. So let me explain what the buzz is about and how to start playing with your own orgasmic potential…

 

 

PS. If you’re curious whether you too can learn to experience multiple orgasms, sign up for my online course for men Tantric Mastery.

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The Truth About Erections

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