10 Unusual Ways to Masturbate

10 Unusual Ways to Masturbate

The International Masturbation Month is in full swing and I think that it’s time to play with some new, fun ideas. I am fond of giving my clients homework (or is it home-play?…) and I hope that you’ll be tempted to try at least a few of these scenarios.

 

Most people I speak to always masturbate the same way.

 

We often form self-touch habits early in life and then keep stroking ourselves in fairly routine ways for years. How about you? Do you still touch yourself the same way you did 10-15 years ago?

 

This can be problematic because you can end up wiring your nervous system to respond to particular kind of stimulation, which can then unfortunately limit your sexual potential. So here are a few interesting ways to shake up your self-pleasure routine!

 

1/ Bath tub

Fill the tub with warm water and add Epson salts, essential oils, bubble bath, or anything else you like. Once you get in, warm water will deeply relax your entire body plus it will caress and stimulate your skin, adding an extra level of sensation to your experience. Touching and stroking yourself in that state will take you to a whole new level of delish!

 

2/ Mirror

Use a full-length mirror or a small hand-held mirror placed in front of genitals (or both!). This will allow you to see what you look like in arousal plus how your body is responding to your self-stimulation. Most people have never seen themselves when turned on and have no idea how hot they look!

 

3/ Vibrator on the body

Stimulating different parts of your body with a vibrator can be a lot of fun! Most people only use vibrators on their genitalia but using them to stimulate others body parts can be extremely pleasurable and arousing. For example, applying a vibrating toy to your chest will not only provide lovely stimulation there, it’ll also help your body send the arousal upwards, helping your sexual energy spread and expand.

 

4/ Vibrator on the anus

One of my teachers, Joseph Kramer, Ph.D., claims that stimulating the anal opening with a vibrator can induce trance-like states of bliss. How about testing this for yourself?

 

5/ External/internal anal massage

Speaking of the anus – when was the last time you gave yourself an anal massage? Make sure to use plenty of lubrication as the anus doesn’t produce any of its own. And be gentle with yourself – massage the anus externally in any way that feels delicious to you. And if you’re adventurous, you can venture inside. But remember – anal stimulation should never hurt. If it does, slow down, add more lube and be much, much gentler!

 

6/ Hands-free

Using hands to stroke ourselves can create tension in the body and can reduce your pleasure.

This is why going hands-free can be a lot of fun! But it requires a bit of preparation. If you’re a woman, you can attach a vibrator to a nightstand or a table and move your body on it in any way that feels good.

If you’re a man, you can attach a Fleshlight (or a similar toy) on an appropriate height that will allow you to thrust into it easily. If you don’t own a vagina-shaped toy, you can use a plastic bag with some lubricant in it. Sticky-tape it to any surface and thrust away!

 

7/ Use air

Use a fan or a fan-heater to stimulate your genital area with either cool or warm air. This can be extremely arousing but make sure to adjust the air temperature so it’s not too hot or not too cold!

 

8/ Water play

Shower heads can be absolutely exquisite as a source of sexual pleasure. If you can, adjust the water pressure to your liking and let warm water stroke, caress and massage your intimate bits. Because the sensations will be gentler than direct hand touch, this will provide a lot of teasing before you come!

 

9/ Dancing

Instead of masturbating on your bed, stand up, put lively music on and stroke yourself while dancing. Don’t think about how to move – nobody’s watching you anyways! You don’t have to show off any sexy dance moves. Instead, listen to your body and move in any way your body wants to move. You can shake, jump, bounce, stretch or flow. Whatever you do, stay connected to your arousal and your pleasure!

 

10/ Make a video

As you begin your masturbation session, set up the camera in your phone and hit “Record”. Do a show, enjoy yourself but don’t rush it! Take your time and slowly explore your eroticism in front of the camera. Nobody else needs to ever watch it (unless you show them). And the awareness of being recorded will give you a sense of being witnessed, which can be a huge turn-on for many!

 

 

But wait – that’s not the end! If you enjoyed this list, you’re going to LOVE my Masturbation Coaching online course. It’s a 7-week journey for both men and women who want to expand their sexual and orgasmic potential through a masterful self-touch. This program is full to the brim of tips, techniques and practices that will train your body to open up erotically and experience completely new types of orgasm!

 

To celebrate the Masturbation Month, the entire course is available at 50% off with coupon code ‘SelfLove’.

Enrol today and begin your journey towards the fullness of your sexual, erotic and orgasmic potential!

LEARN MORE

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How to Give Her a Breast-gasm

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I still remember my first ever breast-gasm, many years ago. It was beautiful, powerful and blissful. As my partner kept stimulating my breasts, the pleasure steadily grew in my chest area and then exploded through my entire body. Ripples and waves of sweet, orgasmic energy kept flowing through my system for a while. And the experience completely surprised me!

 

Most people I speak to and coach, have no idea that they can have and give each other orgasmic experiences located in different areas of their bodies. In bed, they usually focus touch and stimulation on the genitals. Even when there is some foreplay and some kissing involved, that kind of touch is considered an entrée before the main meal – meaning penetration or oral sex.

 

What we tend to forget is that the entire body is one big erogenous zone. And ecstatic pleasure can be stimulated to an orgasmic peak anywhere where the body is sensitive enough to feel pleasure. So how do you give your partner a breast-gasm?

 

1/ Create a space of relaxation

Preparing the space always helps – tidy up the room, bring in nice cushions, music, candles, incense sticks, etc. Once your partner makes herself comfortable, invite her to relax and then start caressing her entire body in a loving way. Use gentle, feather-light touch or soft, flowing strokes.

Let go of any goals, don’t expect anything specific to happen and allow her to surrender to your touch.

 

2/ Invite her to breathe

We all tend to get distracted, even in moments of pleasure. Active minds pull us away from the sensations present in the body and we miss out on the intensity. There is no way to have a blissful moment of ecstasy when the mind is occupied with something else.

So keep reminding her to breathe deeply, slowly. This will help her remain mindful of her pleasure, aware of all the intense and subtle sensations and energetic shifts.

 

3/ Tease her

Touch her breasts gently, lightly. Don’t start with the nipples. Start with feather-light strokes circling her breasts, each one separately and then both together. Allow your fingers to gently wander closer to the areola and then backing away. Nipples are very sensitive so don’t touch them too quickly.

Also, make sure to allow your hands to wander off of her breasts and down to her belly and legs and up to her neck, face and arms. This will encourage the pleasurable energy to keep spreading through her body.

 

4/ Nipple touch

When she’s ready for more, include nipples in your touch. Start with very gentle strokes, tracing the areola with a very light touch. Next you can move onto rolling her nipples between your fingers and then finally, to pinching them. This will release waves of pleasure hormones in her body. Make sure to keep varying your touch between lighter and firmer strokes.

 

5/ Keep edging

Edging is an amazing technique but you need to really pay attention to her body. Keep watching her, noticing her pleasure states. When she reaches high state of arousal, back off, remind her to breathe and move your touch away from her breasts. When she’s calm and relaxed again, build up more arousal and erotic charge in her breasts again.

Continuously dance between arousal and relaxation, allowing her to channel and experience her pleasure through her entire system.

 

6/ Encourage her to move

It might help her to move and undulate her body while you keep touching her. Relaxed movement combined with deep breath allow any pleasure sensations to grow and move through her system. You can further support that flow of energy by moving your strokes between her breasts and the rest of her body. Move her energy down her stomach and legs, up her arms and neck. And when it feels right to do so, let go of edging and allow her to fall into a deep state of orgasmic bliss.

 

This process should take at least half an hour. The longer you’ll tease and arouse her, the more powerful her breast-gasm will be. Quick, rushed sessions of breast touch are usually not enough to build her energy up enough for a powerful climax. So make sure to enjoy yourself. If you’re not having fun while touching her breasts, it’s not likely that she will!

If you want to learn more, check out my Tantric Mastery online course for men.

And if your lady struggles with her own sensuality and orgasmic ability, speak to her about my Orgasmic Empowerment course for women!

 

BOTH COURSES ARE AVAILABLE AT 50% OFF AS PART OF EASTER SPECIAL!

USE COUPON CODE ‘LOVE’

UNTIL 14 APRIL ONLY!

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A client asked me recently with hesitation and visible embarrassment: ‘Why do I lose erection sometimes?’. I appreciated the courage it took him to ask. This question arises in my sessions regularly, indicating just how common the problem is.

 

In fact, I have experienced this recently in my own life with a casual lover. We jumped in to bed together only to realize that despite mine and his efforts, his penis wouldn’t get hard. And since this wasn’t our first time together, I was not concerned. He was obviously still attracted to me and so his lack of erection was not a reflection on our connection.

 

He, on the other hand, was devastated.

 

I had to offer him a lot of loving support before he fully accepted that his body’s lack of reaction was really not an issue.

 

The first thing to understand is that men put a lot of pressure on themselves around their sexual performance – they expect themselves to produce an erection each time, to keep it rock-hard and to not lose it before they’re finished. On top of that, women add to the problem, expecting their men to be always ready, always erect, otherwise it’s surely a sign that ‘he’s not aroused by me anymore’… they assume. Men feel this pressure and start to stress if the body does not perform as expected – if they have a problem ‘getting it up’ or if they lose the erection half way through the lovemaking.

 

The biggest enemy of healthy, pleasurable, long-lasting lovemaking is tension.

 

When you’re anxious or tense, you’ll struggle to enjoy long, deep, sensual, intimate times with your partner or with yourself. Only once you relax and accept your body just the way it is, just the way it works, once you start to love and support it wholeheartedly, only then it’ll pay you back with strong arousal and powerful erections.

 

Please understand, your performance will be affected by many circumstances and situations – sometimes you’re stressed by work, annoyed by someone or simply tired and low on energy. For whatever reason, your body might not be ready to produce an erection and respecting it is an important part of being connected to your body and honouring its needs. If you keep forcing your body to perform and deliver every single time, you’ll notice more resistance which will stress you even more. And the vicious cycle continues…

 

Some men resort to Viagra which helps in short term but drains your body’s resources overall. Every time you ejaculate, you lose nutrients and energy that your body creates in order to form a new life – a baby. As you slowly build up arousal, you awaken a lot of sexual energy which allows your body to replenish these resources. When your erection is caused by a pill, there’s considerably lesser amount of sexual energy awakened but your still ejaculate, causing your body to become more and more drained, tired and stressed.

 

Lack of erection doesn’t necessarily equal no sex…

 

Soft penis is still a very sensitive penis and you can experience a lot of pleasure without an erection. You can even, with a bit of help from your partner and some lubricant, make love without a hard-on. And you might actually discover yourself getting hard as your body’s arousal and sexual energy start to build up naturally.

 

So give your body a break! Learn to love and accept it. Embrace yourself lovingly and offer yourself compassion and support. Think of your penis as a small child. If you treat it with anger and frustration, it will withdraw and back away even more, scared and rejected. But if you love and accept your body even through its challenges, it will start performing better and better, giving you more and more pleasure and satisfaction.

 

And if you’d like some practical tools and exercises to strengthen your erection, get in touch with me for a 1on1 session – in person or over Zoom.

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Josh was a very slow and attentive lover. In fact, whenever I was with him, the whole world just seemed to slow down, luxuriously basking in each moment, relaxing in an awareness that there was absolutely nowhere else to be and nothing else to do.

 

He adored my body and I adored his touch. I particularly enjoyed the attention he gave my breasts. He loved to caress them with his hands, lips and tongue. And he was not in a rush either. He was either fully aware of just how much stimulation a female body needs in order to build up enough arousal, or he was indeed enjoying himself so much he did not want to move on. In either case, what he was doing was working great!

 

I still remember the first time he gave me a nipple-gasm.

 

We were playing in his bed and he was really taking his time with my breasts. I was lying back and enjoying his touch. My body kept relaxing and opening up more and more to the pleasure he was giving me. I was letting out satisfied sounds and my body was gently undulating on the mattress.

 

My excitement was slowly building up as I felt strong, electric energy shooting down from my breasts to my genitals. I was absolutely loving the pleasure he was giving me; the stimulation was absolutely perfect. His touch was not too firm and not too light. I could feel myself getting wet while delicious heat was spreading through my vagina. I did not want him to stop!

 

And then it happened!

 

The erotic charge in my breasts exploded through my chest as the pleasure was almost too much to handle. A warm wave of a loving energy kept expanding through my system, starting in my heart and then rippling out through my body. I was mind-blown, I was in a trance, I was floating in a deeply orgasmic state as my whole body was trembling in ecstasy.

 

When I was finally able to control my muscles, I reached out and held Josh tight, his chest firmly pressed against mine, both of us swimming in the golden glow of my nipple-gasm.

 

Next time you are with your lover, make sure to spend more time with her breasts than you usually do.

 

Remember not to go for her nipples too quickly; they are very sensitive and will become much more ready for touch once she is aroused. Caress, massage and lick her breasts while checking in with her about the pressure and speed of the stimulation. Many men use way too much pressure on the breasts, which can actually turn her off. Women usually complain that their partners do not know how to touch their breasts, so keep seeking feedback.

 

Experiment with different kinds of touch and strokes. Be curious, ask her what she enjoys the most and how she touches her breasts herself. Learn about her breasts and about how they respond to stimulation. I promise that you will make your lover one extremely happy and satisfied woman!

 

– from “Legendary Lover: 6 Essential Steps to Having Great Sex” by Helena Nista

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And then suddenly, after only 30 seconds or so, the music stops. Your body comes to an unexpected halt and you look up at the DJ with confusion. You want to keep going but the music is not coming back. Due to technical difficulties, the DJ decides to turn his equipment off. The party is over.

 

You’re feeling disappointed and let down. The crowd booes disapprovingly and then slowly disperses. There’s nothing left to do but go home.

 

How this relates to the bedroom

 

If you’re a man who has experienced premature ejaculation, you know exactly the feeling. You resonate with the buildup of joy, excitement and pleasure energy. And then the disappointment of a much too quick release. You are not finished, you have barely begun! Yet the body says – it’s over, time to go home.

 

If you’re a woman, this might give you a bit of an idea of what many men dread.

 

Premature ejaculation is a phenomenon that A LOT of men struggle with. It’s not fun and nobody teaches us how to overcome it. Modern society offers us ineffective, short-term solutions (pills, creams, thinking about grandma…) but not many people seem to know what else can be done.

 

How to treat premature ejaculation

 

A lot of these men feel incredibly inspired when they learn that they can use simple tantric techniques not only to address the problem on the night but to actually RETRAIN their bodies to never suffer from premature ejaculation again.

 

What conventionally happens in our bodies as we get aroused, is two things: tension and constriction. We tense up our bodies, particularly our pelvic area and upper legs. And we constrict our breathing.

 

And all this muscle tension and breath constriction is locking your sexual energy, your arousal, in your genitals. As a result, fairly quickly there’s a lot of erotic charge and excitement in one area of your body – your genitals. At that point the body will likely go: “I can’t hold this charge, there is too much tension, I need to release it!” And that’s exactly what happens – the tension is released, you ejaculate.

 

How to last longer in bed

 

In order to last much longer, tantric lovers do something very different – they consciously relax their bodies and deepen their breath. They pay particular attention to the area of the pelvis and let go of any muscle tension held there, they really relax and sort of ‘open up’ their genital region. So as they keep moving their bodies, as they keep making love, they do it without any clenching or holding in their muscles. They also continue taking deep, full breaths flowing all the way down to the belly.

 

I teach my clients a technique called ‘circular breath’. It’s a breath where you take deep abdominal breaths without any pauses between inhales and exhales. So as an inhale is ending, an exhale begins and as an exhale is ending, an inhale begins. There’s no holding of breath and there are no gaps between the in-breaths and the out-breaths. The breath is flowing continuously like a circle. I describe this one and many more effective techniques for lasting longer in my online course Tantric Mastery for Men which is currently available at 50% discount as a part of my Christmas Special offer. Simply use coupon code xmas50 on the checkout page!

 

How tantric men make love for hours

 

So as you’re relaxing your body and as you’re breathing deeply, your sexual energy will actually start flowing away from your genitals and circulating through your entire system. And this is extremely helpful in training your body to last much longer in bed. This is also the first step to experiencing full-body orgasms. And it feels amazing!

 

Please, take this simple tantric exercise into your bedroom and practice. This practice will not only train you to master your arousal and erection. It will also help you to build and expand your experience of erotic pleasure so that you can feel that wonderful pleasure not only in your genitals, but also throughout your entire system.

 

 

Tantric Mastery for Men is a 7-week online training for men who want to become the kind of lover that women dream about. In the Tantric Mastery course you’ll learn how to use a range of different tantric tools and practices to unlock your woman’s deep orgasmic potential.

You’ll learn how to give your partner a mind-blowing tantric massage. You’ll also learn to take full control over your excitement and arousal, allowing you to last as long as you want in bed and have multiple full-body non-ejaculatory energetic orgasms.

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On the other hand, “dickheads” tend to be selfish, careless, inconsiderate or even violent. Yet, they’re the ones that usually go home with the girl. And once in a relationship, they treat the girl poorly. Which is something that nice guys observe with horror because they know that they would have treated her like a queen.

 

So, how to make sense of this?…

 

The truth is complicated. On one hand, women need to feel safe and loved by a guy. This then allows them to open up romantically and sexually to him. However, men that create this kind of safety for a woman, men who are kind and considerate, usually fail to turn that woman on.

 

And this is what bad boys usually do better – they’re typically much more connected to their masculinity, to their cocks and balls and to their sexuality. And that is what truly seduces women.

 

It’s like this – the stronger the polarity between two people, the stronger the attraction.

 

That means that masculine men are typically attracted to feminine women and feminine women to masculine men. And when a man is much more connected to his heart than to his cock, he’s in his feminine essence. In such a case, woman’s feminine essence is meeting his feminine essence and there’s no polarity. And after meeting him, she goes home and says to her friends: “He was really nice! But there was no connection there.”

 

The masculine and feminine essence is not about gender – it’s just energy. We all have both masculine and feminine energy within us. The trick is to cultivate the right balance of the two within yourself.

 

Generally speaking:

  • Masculine energy is direct, purposeful, it executes, it gets stuff done, it moves forward, it “penetrates”, it holds space, it’s grounded and creates a steady container for the feminine.
  • Feminine energy is moving and flowing in all directions, it’s soft and subtle, it’s sensual, it’s emotional, it’s very connected to the heart, it surrenders, it dances in life with joy and compassion.

 

A man who only has masculine energy in himself gets things done effectively and efficiently but is ruthless and disconnected.

A woman who only has feminine energy in herself is loving, caring and soft but chaotic and directionless.

 

This is why we need both.

 

So when you want to seduce a woman, you need to find the middle ground between the “nice guy” and the “dickhead”. You need to provide her with safety that she needs but also with that raw masculine energy that she craves.

 

When a man shows strong masculine qualities, this is usually very attractive to a woman because women don’t typically have a strong masculine energy and hence are attracted to this polar opposite.

 

Nice guys often don’t show strongly their masculine energy because it’s usually hidden under shame, guilt or fear. And so women don’t experience the attraction. Nice guys seem too soft, too feminine, and because of that there’s no polarity and not a lot of attraction there.

 

On the opposite end of the spectrum, macho guys just seem like a better alternative to many women – they seem much more exciting.

 

But please note two important points here:

 

1/ A man who has the right balance of masculine and feminine energy is a MUCH better option for a woman than BOTH a macho guy and a nice guy,

2/ A lot of women have fallen for the “dickhead”, got burnt and now see through the macho-guy layer. These women will tend to choose a nice guy over a macho guy so please don’t feel doomed!

 

When I was younger and much more naive, I used to fall for the strong, detached, masculine “macho” types. 

 

After a few relationships filled with conflict, frustration and tears, I learned my lesson and now I fall for men who are caring, loving and gentle.

I also love it when they have a healthy connection to their masculinity but their heart and kindness are much more important qualities to me than their porn-style personalities. And there are MANY women like this out there!

 

So if you’re struggling to create attraction in women, you need to cultivate your masculine essence.

 

If you’re not sure how to do that, please make sure to check out my What Women Want online course.

 

Here is a message to any guy who finds himself in the friend-zone too often:

Yes, you can drop into your masculinity! Yes, you can develop your masculine energy! And  yes, you can have a beautiful relationship! Yes – 100%!

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