How to Give a Perfect Blow Job

How to Give a Perfect Blow Job

Would you like to know how to give your man a perfect blow job? How to blow his mind and take him to heights of pleasure he’s never experienced before with anybody else? Then read till the end because I have some powerful tips and techniques for you…

 

I fairly often hear from my male clients that they don’t like getting blow jobs from their partners

 

And that in itself should blow your mind because men everywhere claim that there’s NOTHING better than a blow job. Or that even bad blow jobs are still a great experience.

 

However, it turns out that many men prefer to turn down an offer of oral sex from their partners. And let me tell you why! Because this is something that I was very curious about.

 

It turns out that a high percentage of women give very poor blow jobs

 

I actually had to do a bit of digging and questioning to get to the bottom of this issue because most men can’t quite put a finger on what a bad BJ actually means. So after questioning many men over the years – both my clients and lovers, I’m bringing you all the answers!

 

1/ enthusiasm

Way before I became a sex therapist, I had a casual lover who was once telling me about the amazing oral sex sessions he used to get from this particular lady. I became curious and asked him about details.

 

It turns out that she wasn’t using any particular technique or skill. She was simply really into it. It seemed that she absolutely loved giving head and her enthusiasm was making all the difference for him.

 

2/ make out with his penis

Techniques are great and I’ll get to them in a moment. But they really are a secondary thing when it comes to BJ’s. It’s much more about the mindset, about your approach to his cock and your attitude towards fellatio.

 

So next time you’re treating him to some oral sex, I want you to imagine that you’re making out with his cock. Just the way you would approach a very passionate, loving, amazing kiss with your beloved, kiss, lick and suck his cock in the same way.

 

3/ learn to enjoy it

The inside of your mouth is very sensitive and can enjoy a variety of sensations. Treat his penis as a beautiful treat you get to play with. Don’t do it just for his pleasure! Learn to love it, enjoy it and get amazing pleasure from it for yourself as well!

 

Some women can actually orgasm from deep throating! So let go of any resistant thoughts about giving a blow job and give it your all! So that YOU can enjoy it as well.

 

4/ deep throating

Which brings me to deep-throating. A lot of men absolutely love it so it’s a skill worth mastering.

 

Many women can struggle with the gag reflex when taking the penis all the way in but the more you relax your throat while breathing deeply, the easier this will get. And the feeling of his cock growing harder and harder in your mouth when you’re taking him in deep is just divine!

 

5/ forget the orgasm

This one might sound strange at first but I can’t stress enough how important it is! Most men that complain of bad blow jobs, tell me that their partners just try to get them off. And that sense of rush and pressure is in most cases very off-putting.

 

Many women resort to blow jobs or hand jobs when they’re not in a mood for sex. But stroking your partner for the sake of getting him off your back and getting him off quickly, just kills the mood and takes away the joy of this beautiful act.

 

So do it for the pleasure of it, take your time and slow the fuck down… or don’t do it at all. Forcing a sexual experience won’t serve either of you in the long-term.

 

6/ ask him what he likes

All men are different and all cocks are different. Don’t assume that your current lover will enjoy everything that your last partner did.

 

Ask questions. Say: “do you like it when I do this and this?”, “do you like when I suck your balls, tickle your perineum, lick your shaft, etc.?”, “what else do you enjoy, how can I make this more perfect for you?”.

 

Another little tip is to ask him to show you how he masturbates so you can see exactly his favourite pressure, speed and pleasure spots.

 

7/ look him in the eye

Men are very visual and like to watch the woman in the act of giving him oral sex. Looking back at him while sucking his cock can be extremely hot for both you and him!

 

8/ cover your teeth

Be careful and make sure to cover your teeth with your lips. Even a moment of pain can ruin his ecstatic blow job experience.

 

9/ introduce variety

It’s definitely fun to keep your mouth moving up and down the shaft of his penis but there are so many other things you can do!

 

Play with variety, keep alternating the speed of your movements, the depth of your oral stimulation.

 

Don’t forget that he’s got balls and that they also adore touch, either with your hands or mouth. You can lick them, suck them and caress them. Just make sure to check in how he likes it as the testicles can be very sensitive at times.

 

Be curious, keep experimenting, watch his responses and ask questions. That’s the best path towards the most masterful blow job of all time!

 

10/ use your hand

Use your hand to support the base of his penis while you’re using your mouth, lips and tongue to play with the head. You can also stroke his balls, his perineum and his anus with your fingers while your mouth is deliciously exploring his cock.

 

Final two points – remember that STI’s can also be transmitted through oral sex so use a condom if you’re with a casual lover.

 

And gentlemen, don’t forget that hygiene is of utmost importance when someone is giving you oral sex. Don’t put her off by an unfresh cock. Make sure that you’re clean, particularly the area of foreskin and the head.

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How to Orgasm During Sex

A lot of women come to me saying that they can’t orgasm during penetration. And in this article, I’m going to share with you exactly what I tell them!

 

So first of all, this topic is very close to my heart because for many years of my own sex life, I could NOT orgasm during sex. When I was younger, I was reading all the tips and articles in Cosmo and similar magazines. But none of their advice was working.

 

I eventually gave up trying and just resigned myself to a completely un-orgasmic sex life

 

But! Fortunately, life had other plans for me. And so I ended up going on a powerful journey of activating and cultivating my orgasmic potential.

 

And right now, I am multi-orgasmic. I can not only orgasm during sex easily, I can do it many, many times during each session of a sexual intercourse. And on top of that I can also enter into trance-like orgasmic states that can last for up to an hour.

 

And I feel that this is something I am in a particularly powerful position to teach other women because I not only studied this from books during my sexological education. This is something that I’ve gone through personally so I know exactly what my female clients are struggling with and how to help them.

 

So what’s the secret? How can ANY woman orgasm during penetration?

 

The ability to orgasm during intercourse comes down to two powerful elements. Let’s now look at both of them in detail.

 

1/ stimulation of erogenous zones

 

During a typical intercourse experience, a man’s penis is going in and out of the vagina as he is thrusting. So this means that his main erogenous zone (his cock) is rubbed, massaged and stroked entirely. Obviously, men have also other erogenous zones but this particular one is his easiest gateway to having an orgasm.

 

However, for a woman, the situation is very different. Her main erogenous zones – her clitoris and her gspot – are in most cases not stimulated at all or stimulated insufficiently during intercourse. This means that the thrusting motion is not creating enough arousal to take her over the edge of an orgasm.

 

This means a few things:

 

a) you as a woman need to know your pleasure zones and ideally you should be also regularly activating them through slow, conscious masturbation.

 

b) the in-and-out motion doesn’t usually work as well as the more sort of grinding motion, which is much better suited for stimulating all the right spots. So make sure to ask your partner to grind his hips instead of only going in-and-out.

 

You as a woman can also get on top and do the grinding yourself while paying a close attention to what particular body movements and positions give you most pleasure.

 

c) you as a woman should also experiment with different things like stroking your own clitoris during penetration (and some positions are obviously more suited to that than others), you might also try rhythmically clenching your pelvic floor muscle – it’s something that works really well for some women.

 

Or simply remember whatever it is that you do when you’re alone in order to bring yourself to a climax. And simply incorporate that into your partnered intercourse experience.

 

2/ ability to surrender to an orgasmic state

 

And the second big thing that allows women to orgasm during penetration is her ability to surrender to an orgasmic state.

 

This one is something that really took me a while to master. I would always go to my head and think my way through sex instead of feeling it all.

 

But think about it this way: pleasure that will take you into ecstasy is happening in your body. And as long as you’re thinking or worrying during sex, you’re just pulling yourself away from your bliss.

 

So here an ability to remain mindful, connected to your body and disconnected from your thinking mind is crucial!

 

On top of that being able to deeply relax into your pleasure will help. And this is one of the reasons why being on top doesn’t always work very well for me when I want to orgasm, because I really love to completely surrender during sex.

 

And I’ll typically feel a lot of delicious pleasure while I’m moving my body but that moment when I just relax and surrender, that’s when I usually fall into an expanded, full-body orgasm.

 

So I really encourage you to start thinking about sex as not so much something you do but something that you immerse yourself in, that you relax into, that you experience. And from that place, your orgasms will become much more effortless.

 

Please give all these tips a go and let me know in comments below what worked for you. Or maybe you’ve already tried some of these techniques??

 

And if you’d like more powerful tools and techniques, make sure to check out my Orgasmic Empowerment course for Women. This program is a 7-week journey for any woman who wants to heal, grow and expand her orgasmic potential.

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10 Tips for a Mind-Blowing Prostate Massage

10 Tips for a Mind-Blowing Prostate Massage

Are you curious how to give your man an exquisite prostate massage? Or are you a man who wants to know more about pleasurable stimulation of the anus – both externally and internally?

A lot of my male clients ask me about the stimulation of the prostate 

It seems that men really want to know more and want to be able to explore it and experience it with their lovers. But since it’s a topic covered with a lot of shame and embarrassment, it’s not easy to find quality information about it.

Many men worry that enjoying anal stimulation might make them gay. Others feel ashamed to mention such a desire to their partners. Others still worry about potential pain or discomfort caused by anal touch. And I feel that it’s important to acknowledge your potential concerns and worries. And then the next step is to look more closely into them.

Because the truth is that every single person has a sensitive anus

There is a high concentration of nerve endings there, meaning that anal touch can be really pleasurable or even orgasmic for anyone – whether you’re a man, a woman, a non-binary person, whether you identify as straight, gay or subscribe to any other sexual orientation.

And once we understand that pleasurable anal stimulation is natural, healthy and fun, we can move on to actually exploring it. So here are my 10 tips for an amazing prostate massage:

1/ Cut your nails

Ladies or gentlemen performing anal touch on your lover, make sure to keep your nails short. This is very important! The tissue lining the anus both internally and externally is very sensitive and even a little scratch can be very unpleasant for your partner. You can even use nitrile gloves for extra protection in case your fingers are rough or nails are a bit longer.

2/ Have an enema

The recipient of the prostate massage may opt for an enema or a douche in order to rinse the inside of the anal canal. This is not necessary but might make you feel more comfortable if you’re worried about traces of faeces.

As an extra tip, the nitrile gloves I mentioned in my previous point will also protect you – the giver of the prostate massage – in case you encounter faecal matter inside the rectum, which is not uncommon.

3/ Relax your partner

Don’t rush your prostate massage. Take your time and make sure that your partner is truly relaxed first. This way the entire experience will be much more pleasurable for them. So lay them down comfortably on either their back or stomach and massage their entire body gently and lovingly.

4/ Relax the anus

Anal sphincters located at the entrance of the anal canal are meant to keep everything moving out. So as soon as something is introduced from the outside, they’ll tense up to stop the intrusion which can make anal touch painful or uncomfortable.

You can actually convince these sphincters to stay open by massaging, stroking and caressing the anus externally first. Please make sure to use some kind of lubricant here to make sure you don’t hurt your partner – a coconut oil works particularly well.

Here are a few ways to massage that anus externally:

  • Gently holding still
  • Vibrating
  • Brushing past the anal opening with your fingers
  • Massaging it in circles
  • Opening up the anus by spreading the muscles, you can actually use both thumbs here
  • You can also do it by alternating the fingers
  • Applying the door bell motion
  • Tapping
  • Blowing on it, particularly when you’re gently spreading the muscles
  • Using the edge of your hand and going up and down

All of these different strokes will keep relaxing the anus so take your time here and don’t rush.

5/ Internal massage

Once your partner’s anus is fully relaxed, you can begin the internal massage. First simply introduce just the tip of your finger inside and hold it there. This is where the sphincters are so you can also ascertain here just how open and ready the anus is.

If you’re sensing tension, use your words to gently guide your partner to relax these muscles. They might be unaware of the tension and your guidance can be very helpful.

Next, start applying gentle pressure on the sphincters in 4 directions, going down, to the side, up and to the other side. Make sure to hold each one of these points for at least a minute. You can also generally massage and caress the sphincters here.

6/ Go deeper!

When you feel like your partner is ready for more, allow your finger to slide a bit deeper, maybe just past your first knuckle. And again, stretch the area in 4 directions, massage, be gentle, patient and loving here.

When you can introduce your finger even deeper, up to about the second knuckle, you’ll be able to massage the prostate. Prostate is a walnut-sized gland located below the bladder. You can sense it with your finger when pressing into the front wall of the rectum, towards the belly of your partner.

Feel free to explore this area and massage it up and down along the prostate gland, or in circles or to each side (to the left and right of the prostate). Experiment with different pressure, speed and depth of your touch.

7/ Penis massage

If your partner is lying on his back or on his side, adding some gentle stimulation of the penis can be very pleasurable here. But don’t stroke him hard and fast. You don’t want to make him ejaculate. You simply want to enhance his prostate massage.

8/ Communicate

Point number 8 is really crucial and it’s to stay in communication with your partner.

Everybody is different and they respond differently to anal touch and prostate massage. So stay sensitive to your partner’s needs, keep enquiring about how they’re feeling and about parts of the massage that they enjoy most.

9/ Toys

Your partner might enjoy it even more if you include a toy or two in your massage. There is a variety of anal toys available on the market so make sure to explore them and purchase the ones that pique your interest.

Vibrating toys gently applied externally to the anal opening can induce particularly strong pleasure sensations.

10/ Aftercare

When you’re finished with your massage, cover your partner with a sheet and stay right next to him. Don’t go anywhere, don’t leave his side! Give him as much time as he needs to stay in this blissful state and to fully integrate the entire experience.

Once he’s ready to open his eyes and speak, offer him your loving attention. He might want to talk about his experience, he might want a cuddle, he might want a drink… make sure to take a good care of him as he might be feeling raw and vulnerable at this point.

So there you have it, a complete guide to giving your partner a safe, pleasurable and blissful prostate massage 

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How to Have a Cervical Orgasm

How to Have a Cervical Orgasm

Each time I mention cervical orgasms during public talks and interviews, I get a lot of surprised looks and questions. This keeps reminding me of how very few people are actually aware of what cervical orgasms are.

 

On one hand, this makes me sad because cervical orgasms are so incredibly delicious and every single woman should be experiencing them on a regular basis. But on the other hand, I myself didn’t learn about their existence until I began researching and exploring all sexual books, articles, programs, courses and workshops I could get my hands on back at the beginning of my tantric path.

 

So, what’s all the fuss about?

 

All orgasms are wonderful and delightful and I’m not in any way attempting to grade or classify them here. But in my own personal experience, there is something deeply potent, beautiful and out-of-this world about cervical orgasms. I like to refer to them as the Holy Grail of all female orgasms because of that depth of pleasure and bliss they offer. And in this article, I’m going to not only talk about the art of having one, but also about giving one to your partner if you don’t happen to own a cervix yourself.

 

Why are cervical orgasms so amazing?

 

Cervix is located at the back wall of the vaginal canal and it is the entrance to the womb. When touched and massaged, it feels like the tip of the nose. Because of its specific anatomy and biology, when stimulated, cervix can provide a woman with very different and distinct kind of pleasure and sensations, as compared to the externally located and much more familiar clitoris.

 

Cervix can be stimulated with a penis, with a dildo or with a finger (except for some women who have fairly long vaginal canals and can’t reach it with fingers). When stimulated, cervix produces blissful pleasure that feels deep, peacefully grounding and expansive. The sensations seem to be flowing outward in the body in a very profound way, like waves of the ocean.

 

The experience can put a woman in a state of ecstatic trance not just for a few seconds but for much, much longer.

 

Why don’t all women have cervical orgasms?

 

Most women have experienced years of aggressive, mechanical, disconnected, porn-inspired sex. The poor cervix is a highly sensitive creature which requires an appropriate level of pressure, speed and intensity of stimulation. However, if it’s been pounded for years without an appropriate level of appreciation and care, it will over time lose its pleasure potential and it will become numb.

 

What to do if your cervix is numb?

 

The good news is that any woman can re-sensitize her cervix. With enough time and patience, that precious sensitivity of all the nerve endings can be re-claimed and cultivated.

 

First of all, see if you can find your cervix using your fingers. Once you locate it, massage it gently, paying attention to any sensations you experience there. This can take some time and a few tries so don’t get discouraged if you can’t feel anything straight away.

 

An amazing tool for re-sensitizing the cervix is a rose quartz crystal wand and I would recommend it to any lady who is committed to re-claiming the full potential of her orgasmic cervix. I still use my pleasure wand to keep my cervix happy and activated and I consider my wand to be one of my most prized possessions.

 

Tip for the gentlemen

 

During intercourse, apart from the more familiar in-and-out movement, try also slowly sliding your penis deep inside the vagina and then use an up-and-down grinding motion, allowing the head of the penis to stroke and massage the cervix. This can take a while so don’t give up after 30 seconds!

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10 Unusual Ways to Masturbate

10 Unusual Ways to Masturbate

The International Masturbation Month is in full swing and I think that it’s time to play with some new, fun ideas. I am fond of giving my clients homework (or is it home-play?…) and I hope that you’ll be tempted to try at least a few of these scenarios.

 

Most people I speak to always masturbate the same way.

 

We often form self-touch habits early in life and then keep stroking ourselves in fairly routine ways for years. How about you? Do you still touch yourself the same way you did 10-15 years ago?

 

This can be problematic because you can end up wiring your nervous system to respond to particular kind of stimulation, which can then unfortunately limit your sexual potential. So here are a few interesting ways to shake up your self-pleasure routine!

 

1/ Bath tub

Fill the tub with warm water and add Epson salts, essential oils, bubble bath, or anything else you like. Once you get in, warm water will deeply relax your entire body plus it will caress and stimulate your skin, adding an extra level of sensation to your experience. Touching and stroking yourself in that state will take you to a whole new level of delish!

 

2/ Mirror

Use a full-length mirror or a small hand-held mirror placed in front of genitals (or both!). This will allow you to see what you look like in arousal plus how your body is responding to your self-stimulation. Most people have never seen themselves when turned on and have no idea how hot they look!

 

3/ Vibrator on the body

Stimulating different parts of your body with a vibrator can be a lot of fun! Most people only use vibrators on their genitalia but using them to stimulate others body parts can be extremely pleasurable and arousing. For example, applying a vibrating toy to your chest will not only provide lovely stimulation there, it’ll also help your body send the arousal upwards, helping your sexual energy spread and expand.

 

4/ Vibrator on the anus

One of my teachers, Joseph Kramer, Ph.D., claims that stimulating the anal opening with a vibrator can induce trance-like states of bliss. How about testing this for yourself?

 

5/ External/internal anal massage

Speaking of the anus – when was the last time you gave yourself an anal massage? Make sure to use plenty of lubrication as the anus doesn’t produce any of its own. And be gentle with yourself – massage the anus externally in any way that feels delicious to you. And if you’re adventurous, you can venture inside. But remember – anal stimulation should never hurt. If it does, slow down, add more lube and be much, much gentler!

 

6/ Hands-free

Using hands to stroke ourselves can create tension in the body and can reduce your pleasure.

This is why going hands-free can be a lot of fun! But it requires a bit of preparation. If you’re a woman, you can attach a vibrator to a nightstand or a table and move your body on it in any way that feels good.

If you’re a man, you can attach a Fleshlight (or a similar toy) on an appropriate height that will allow you to thrust into it easily. If you don’t own a vagina-shaped toy, you can use a plastic bag with some lubricant in it. Sticky-tape it to any surface and thrust away!

 

7/ Use air

Use a fan or a fan-heater to stimulate your genital area with either cool or warm air. This can be extremely arousing but make sure to adjust the air temperature so it’s not too hot or not too cold!

 

8/ Water play

Shower heads can be absolutely exquisite as a source of sexual pleasure. If you can, adjust the water pressure to your liking and let warm water stroke, caress and massage your intimate bits. Because the sensations will be gentler than direct hand touch, this will provide a lot of teasing before you come!

 

9/ Dancing

Instead of masturbating on your bed, stand up, put lively music on and stroke yourself while dancing. Don’t think about how to move – nobody’s watching you anyways! You don’t have to show off any sexy dance moves. Instead, listen to your body and move in any way your body wants to move. You can shake, jump, bounce, stretch or flow. Whatever you do, stay connected to your arousal and your pleasure!

 

10/ Make a video

As you begin your masturbation session, set up the camera in your phone and hit “Record”. Do a show, enjoy yourself but don’t rush it! Take your time and slowly explore your eroticism in front of the camera. Nobody else needs to ever watch it (unless you show them). And the awareness of being recorded will give you a sense of being witnessed, which can be a huge turn-on for many!

 

 

But wait – that’s not the end! If you enjoyed this list, you’re going to LOVE my Masturbation Coaching online course. It’s a 7-week journey for both men and women who want to expand their sexual and orgasmic potential through a masterful self-touch. This program is full to the brim of tips, techniques and practices that will train your body to open up erotically and experience completely new types of orgasm!

 

To celebrate the Masturbation Month, the entire course is available at 50% off with coupon code ‘SelfLove’.

Enrol today and begin your journey towards the fullness of your sexual, erotic and orgasmic potential!

LEARN MORE

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How to Breathe Yourself to Orgasm

How to Breathe Yourself to Orgasm

I have orgasmed in public many times before.

 

(I guess that’s a phrase you don’t hear very often!). It has happened mainly with me as a participant during workshops, Tantra events and different sexuality courses. But more recently, these public O’s have taken on a new dimension for me…

 

I’ve been breathing myself to orgasm as a facilitator, in front of all participants – at first accidentally and then, on purpose. (If you’re wondering how it’s possible to breathe yourself to orgasm accidentally, ask me – funny story…)

 

I’ve been running more and more of my own workshops and talks recently. Doing this allows me an amazing freedom as I can teach and conduct my events exactly how I want to. Things don’t always go to plan, as different participants bring their own degree of familiarity with the topic and their own set of questions…

 

But mostly my events attract people who are completely new to Tantra and sacred sexuality.

 

Most of them have never experienced the fullness of their orgasmic power. More than that – they’re not even aware of what their bodies are capable of in the realm of pleasure and sexual bliss!

 

When I describe orgasmic pleasure rippling and vibrating like waves through the entire body, when I talk about circulating energy between partners and merging into one being with your lover, when I describe a state where you don’t know any more whether it’s your orgasm or theirs, eyes widen and jaws drop.

 

Some of the workshops include a presentation of the full-body orgasm and sometimes a presentation is requested.

 

And as I sit there before my audience, taking myself into a deep state of orgasmic activation, within a minute or two, my body starts to shake, my eyes roll backwards and my deep erotic moans dominate a completely quiet room. My whole body feels electric, every cell of my being is vibrating and full-body pleasure keeps flooding my system.

 

When I finally open my eyes, the facial expressions around me are varied – from fascination and joy to shock and utter surprise.

 

There are a few things I love about this practical demo…

 

First of all, this challenges popular beliefs and ideas about achieving orgasm. Second of all, it gives the attendees practical tools to do the exact same thing themselves. And thirdly, there’s a sort of transmission happening there where some of the people in the audience become orgasmically activated just from watching me.

 

Because the truth is that anybody can do it!

 

I don’t have a special body with some supernatural powers. Instead, I have learned how to connect to my deep orgasmic potential and how to activate my body through breath and surrender. And if you’d like to do the same, you can learn more in my Orgasmic Empowerment course for women. As a part of my Christmas Special, I’m offering the entire 7-week program at a 50% discount until 8 December with code: xmas50.

 

I truly believe that there’s a deep power hidden within a person who has fully activated and cultivated their erotic energy. I absolutely know that expanded, deeply ecstatic and profoundly nurturing orgasms are our birthright. And I believe that we can use our full-body orgasms for more pleasure, more connection and to manifest amazing things into our lives.

 

We just need to know how…

 

Orgasmic Empowerment for Women is a 7-week online journey that will take you from where you are now sexually to where you want to be and beyond! You will learn, you will practice, you will explore and you will transform. This program is very practical and each week you’ll be working with new techniques and tools of sexual healing and empowerment.

At the end of this path, you’ll come out feeling like a new, better, more sensual version of yourself. You will build confidence, attraction and charisma in your body. You will cultivate your sexual force and power, making you irresistible to men, whether you’re single and looking for a partner or whether you’ve been in a relationship for years and want to create more juice, pleasure and fun at home!

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