5 Must-try Masturbation Moves for Her

5 Must-try Masturbation Moves for Her

If you’re like most people, you probably always masturbate in the same way. It’s likely that over time you have developed a masturbation routine that works for you. This routine is a set of moves and strokes that give you pleasure and bring you to orgasm in the quickest and most efficient way.

 

When I ask my clients, they mostly admit that they’re still masturbating now the same way they did 10 years ago. This tells me that they don’t give their self-pleasure a lot of thought. And I mean – if it isn’t broken, why fix it! Yet, there’s a powerful reason why you might consider trying new things in your solo sexual practice!

 

If you always touch your genital area the same way, you’re actually limiting your erotic and orgasmic potential. You’re basically wiring your system for orgasms induced by your fingers or a vibrator stroking you in a very particular way. This can lead to difficulties when trying to orgasm with a partner. Plus there’s a world of different, varied, expanded pleasure sensations when we open ourselves to new experiences and sensations!

 

Would you like to try some of my favourite moves?

 

1/ Start by touching your entire body

If you usually rush your touch straight to your genital area, try something different and give yourself a loving full-body massage. Doesn’t it feel amazing to be touched and stroked all over by another person? You can offer your own body a wealth of pleasure by touching yourself from head to toe.

Try gently stroking your skin, massaging your feet, caressing your belly and dragging your nails down your inner arms. Caress your neck and massage your ears. No area of your body is off-limits!

Give this part at least 10 minutes.

 

2/ Breast massage

Woman’s breasts are sensitive and very receptive to touch. Yet most women never touch their own breasts!

Treat your chest to a luxurious massage. Use a massage oil of your choice (Yoni Elixir is one of my favs!) and slowly spread it all over, one breast at a time. Next, take some time drawing circles with your hands on the outer edges of your breasts. Start moving your hands up the centre of your chest and out to the sides along the pectoral muscles. Next down the outer edges and back to the middle. After a while switch direction.

I particularly like stroking my breasts gently with my nails but there is a wide variety of ways to touch, massage and stroke your breasts. If you need some inspiration, please make sure to visit my Orgasmic Empowerment course for women which includes a step-by-step tutorial of a deeply sensual and arousing breast self-massage.

 

3/ Pillow riding

Most women always lie down while masturbating. They use their hands to stroke themselves but apart from that, they don’t move their bodies at all. Pillow riding is different. It deeply engages your entire body, allowing you a completely new level of experience.

Lie down on your belly and place a pillow under your pelvis. Next start moving your body and particularly your hips in a “riding” motion up and down the pillow. Use it to stimulate your intimate area while allowing the erotic energy to spread and expand through your entire body.

 

4/ Tease yourself

You know that your clitoris is the most sensitive part of your body, you know that it feels amazing when you stroke and stimulate it. But you also know that doing so will bring you to orgasm fairly quickly, particularly if you’re using a vibrator.

Instead of giving yourself exactly what you desire, tease yourself by touching everywhere BUT the clit. Massage your entire vulva, stroke your outer and inner lips up and down and once you drive yourself wild with desire, only then indulge in clitoral stimulation.

 

5/ Clitoral clock

Your clitoris contains about 8,000 nerve endings which makes it extremely sensitive. But not many women know that the quality of pleasure will change, depending on where exactly you’re stroking your clit.

Imagine that your pleasure button is a face of a clock with 12 o’clock being the top bit, closest to your pubic mound, and 6 o’clock being underneath, closer to the vaginal opening. And now take your time exploring pleasure sensations by stroking different o’clocks, one by one.

Most women report that 2 o’clock is the most delicious spot (your upper left side) and I definitely love my 2 o’clock. But for me personally, nothing beats 8 o’clock!

 

This is just a quick taste of what’s possible in the masturbation realm. If you want to learn more, I’ve recently released my new online course – Masturbation Coaching. The course is currently available at a heavily discounted price but the discount will only be available for 7 days after release! Use this code to access the discount: SELFLOVE

Enjoy!!!

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Why you don’t want a tight vagina

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Why you don’t want a tight vagina

Why you don’t want a tight vagina

As a sex coach, I see the world a bit differently than others. I see it through the lens of sexual behaviours, desires and needs. I can quickly assess and determine what a person needs to create a healthier, much more fulfilling and satisfying intimacy in their life. I can see where they’re blocking their pleasure and how they’re repressing or hiding their eroticism.

And what makes my blood boil is when these people fall prey to advertising that takes advantage of their insecurities between the sheets. There are products created for both men and women that promise to fix us and improve our experience in the bedroom. These products and services can cost up to thousands of dollars, while not offering any actual benefit in return.

These companies attempt to profit from the fact that as a society we’re not educated properly about sex. And in many cases we don’t realize that there are simple ways to support and cultivate our sexuality, ways that don’t require any products, or expense.

Watch my video to learn what made my blood boil this week!

 

 

P.S. For all the ladies craving more pleasure, sensitivity and sensuality in their bodies, my Orgasmic Empowerment online course is a simple and natural way to take your body on a path of sexual healing and transformation.

 

Video content:

I was recently involved in a conversation about products that “make your vagina tighter”. It’s become a trendy thing to have a ‘tight vagina’ and the marketing is targeting insecurities of women who feel inadequate in this area. The other people I was having this conversation with were also sex coaches and it was beyond the doubt obvious to all of us that a tight vagina is NOT something good, healthy or desirable. And yet so many products are sold with this exact promise. So let me tell you today why in fact a tight vagina is not a good thing and what you should desire instead.

The society imposes a lot of stigma onto women who for whatever reason do not have tight vaginas. Women who gave birth might be perceived as ‘stretched’ and not tight enough. They’re usually recommended Kegel exercises to increase the tone of their pelvic area. But there’s also negative associations with a ‘loose vagina’, meaning if you can’t squeeze his dick inside of you like a MF, you’ve had too much sex, your vagina is loose and hence you’re a “loose” woman, unworthy of respect.

So women either go crazy with Kegel exercises or they invest in products that promise to tighten their vaginas. Both approaches are flawed. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with good old Kegels, in fact I recommend them to SOME women I see. There are muscles in your pelvic area and they should be used and worked, just like any other muscles in your body.

But if all you do with your vagina is tighten and squeeze it, you will create a lot of tension, constriction AND reduced sensitivity. And that’s NOT going to make sex pleasurable or fun. So instead of striving for a tight vagina, create a FLEXIBLE vagina instead. And the difference is profound.

Because you see, the delicious tightness that he experiences inside of your vagina when you’re making love is not caused by you having strong pelvic muscles but by your engorged erectile tissue. When a woman gets aroused, her genitals area swells with all the blood rushing in. It works in a similar way to a man’s erection. He’s aroused, the blood starts rushing in and his penis gets hard.

In a very similar way, women get erections as well, they’re just less obvious. When a woman is aroused and all the blood is rushing in, it fills up the erectile tissue in her genital area and causes engorgement. When that engorgement happens, her inner and outer lips become swollen and darker in colour. But what you don’t see is all the rest of her erectile tissue that is inside of her, surrounding the vaginal walls.

So when a woman is aroused, her vagina becomes naturally “tight” because she’s engorged and all the areas are filled with blood. And that’s a good thing! That kind of engorgement and “tightness” causes increased sensitivity, more lubrication and a lot more pleasure for her. But if she’s struggling to get aroused, if her erectile tissue is NOT engorged and she’s trying to squeeze her pelvic floor muscle instead, she’s just going to experience constriction, tension and a degree of numbness in her genitals.

So creating a tone and fitness in your pelvic area needs to come hand in hand with creating openness, relaxation and sensitivity. And one of my absolutely favourite exercises to create that is my Breath of Passion technique which I describe in detail in my Orgasmic Empowerment for Women course. But there are many ways to cultivate that kind of flexibility and sensuality in your body. With the easiest one being simply placing attention on your pelvic area and relaxing it fully. Just feeling it relax more and more.

So PLEASE let’s stop chasing tight vaginas! They’re not healthy, they’re not receptive and they’re not sensitive! Instead let’s cultivate vaginas that are open, sexy, capable of healthy arousal and amazing pleasure. Please share with me your thoughts on this topic and let me know whether you’d prefer a tight or a flexible and sensual vagina! And if you’re interested in learning more, check out my Orgasmic Empowerment course for women.

Have a fabulous week! See you next time!

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How to Stop Falling for the Wrong Guy or Girl

How to Stop Falling for the Wrong Guy or Girl

A part of me is extremely excited about the message in my today’s vlog. Many years ago I was the one who desperately needed to hear this message in order to save myself A LOT of heartbreak. I used to go out on dates, hoping to meet my Prince Charming but all my efforts seemed to be in vain. My dates led nowhere or the rare relationship would quickly turn toxic.

But another part of me is also anxious about putting this message out there. Will I be misunderstood for speaking up against the socially accepted trends and behaviours? Will my message be rejected or uncomfortable for people to hear?

I hear a lot of complaints about the modern dating world. Men and women talk about struggles imposed by the online world, the challenges in creating anything long-term or the frustration of being ‘ghosted’. It all makes me breathe an internal sigh of relief that I’m out of the dating scene!

But I’m also seeing a lot of unhealthy behaviours and attitudes that strongly inhibit the ability to create a fulfilling relationship for even the most willing singles.

In my video I explain why you might be shooting yourself in the foot while dating and what to do to prevent it!

 

 

P.S. And make sure to look out for a surprise appearance of my co-host! Sometimes life gets in the way in just the most beautiful way! 🙂

 

Video content:

Are you falling for the wrong man or woman? Or do you find that things start off with someone but then fall flat very quickly and you’re struggling to create a committed, deep and meaningful relationship? The answer might lie in the fact that we think that we only experience one kind of attraction – we’re attracted to someone, that’s it. But that’s not actually the case. There are 2 types of attraction and you’ll be struggling in the dating world until you actually understand this.

The first kind of attraction is a sexual attraction. A man sees a woman and he experiences a sexual response, he feels arousal, he wants to sleep with her. The second kind of attraction is a romantic attraction. That’s when a man meets a woman and really wants to spend time with her, to get to know her better, to really understand who she is as a person and to protect her.

And obviously you can experience both of these at the same time which is the most fun and exciting situation. But where we go wrong is when we confuse the two. And we confuse them when we want a loving, committed relationship yet we keep focusing on and keep creating a sexual attraction instead of the romantic one. Because you see, there are very specific things that we can do in order to create each particular type of attraction.

Sexual attraction and an arousal response in a man is created when he notices things about her like: beautiful face, curvy body, sensual movements, shiny hair, etc. And women will create that response in a man when they really concentrate on these, more external aspects of their bodies. When they pay a lot of attention to their sexy, attractive appearance.

But if a woman wants to create a romantic attraction in a man, she should focus on other kind of things: showing herself as a very authentic human being, when she’s not trying to please him but expresses herself in her full truth. Another thing is expressing her hobbies and passions. Men find women who are passionate extremely attractive. But a mistake many women make is putting their own hobbies aside in order to adopt the interests of the man they’re interested in. That’s not attractive, that’s not authentic and it doesn’t express her true passion.

Another way to create a romantic attraction is receptivity. Men want to give to women, provide for women, protect them. So when a woman is receptive to his gifts, his time, his energy or his efforts, this triggers a very positive response in a man. But a lot of women reject the man’s help because they think that they need to be seen as independent in order to be perceived as more attractive.

But it doesn’t work that way! A lot of women would reject his coat on a cold day with the words: “no, because then you’ll be cold”. Well guess what, that’s making you his mom! And that’s not attractive. Take his coat, for god’s sake! You’ll be warm and he’ll feel proud and in his masculine essence.

Men, if you really want to attract a committed, loving relationship, pay attention to where your energy goes: are you focusing on her shapely bum? On her pretty face? On her breasts? Or shiny hair? Well, you might find an insight there that maybe it’s time to start focusing more on her personality, her energy, how you feel around her and is she someone you feel drawn to energetically.

And ladies, if you find yourselves heart-broken on a regular basis, just notice. Are you trying to attract a man by creating a beautiful image (hair, makeup, jewellery, high heels, etc.) or are you showing him your true self? Are you bending yourself in order to please him or are you standing in your truth and authenticity? Don’t try to change your life in order to please him or guess his wishes.

That’s exactly what I used to do and what ended up in a heart-break for me on so many occasions. I would make myself all pretty for the man I was dating and I would forego my own desires and I would do my best to guess and deliver what he wanted from me, I wanted him to think that I was the perfect girlfriend. And that strategy never delivered. The relationship either didn’t go anywhere or turned toxic really quickly.

And when I realized that this behaviour didn’t serve me and that I needed to be raw, authentic, passionate, true to myself… and that it didn’t matter how shiny my hair was or how much makeup I was wearing… that changed everything! And I found myself loved, cherished and taken care of by the men in my life. And my connections became much more loving, profound and caring.

Have a look at your dating life, if you’re dating and see if you’re recognizing any of these patterns in your own life. Please leave a comment below if you resonate with a big fat YES! I love reading your comments so please leave me a note. And in the meantime, stay sexy, keep touching yourself, have a fantastic week and I look forward to seeing you next time!

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How to Stay Aroused During Sex

How to Stay Aroused During Sex

I often speak to women who complain of discomfort during sex. It usually all starts quite well – with caresses, kisses, arousal and pleasure. But as things move into penetration, at some stage she experiences a drop in desire and his thrusting turns from highly pleasurable to uncomfortable.

This is usually the point where women start urging their lovers to hurry up and finish – yikes! not a great aphrodisiac!

There is a variety of reasons for this experience. Some of them are physical, some mental and other still – emotional. It’s important to recognize and address them. Otherwise, the pattern becomes stronger and she cannot remain wet and aroused during intercourse, even if she’s really trying.

In my video I explain why this phenomenon happens and I dive into 5 powerful ways to resolve it and to help her remain wet, juicy, turned on and keen for more!


P.S. Every one of us is very unique in a way that we experience pleasure, arousal and desire. Please make sure to test all of my tips for yourself. And maybe even come up with your own… 🙂

 

Video content:

A lot of women I speak to describe an experience where they’re in the bedroom with their partners, both keep kissing, touching and caressing each other. The arousal builds and they’re both experiencing a lot of pleasure and desire. And so they move onto penetration and all feels amazing for quite a while. But as the intercourse progresses, at some point she starts to experience pain. As he keeps thrusting inside of her, it starts to feel like a burning friction. So in this video I’m going to show you why it happens and what to do about it!

Human arousal is complex and a lot of elements need to come together in order for us to feel “in the mood” for sex. It’s not only about the way he’s physically touching her. It’s also about her overall physical, emotional and mental state. And if these things are not aligned and taken care of, she can easily loose arousal during sex which will result in pain or discomfort for her during penetration. This is when women usually start urging their lovers to hurry up and finish. So here are a few simple ways to stay wet and aroused during sex!

 

1/ Stay connected to your own pleasure

Many women focus so strongly on pleasing their partner sexually, that they disconnect from their own bodies and their own sensuality. And it’s very difficult to remain aroused when you’re barely feeling your own body. So make sure to stay in your body, keep checking in with your body, breathing deeply, relaxing any tension and really noticing all the pleasurable sensations and erotic energy in your system.

 

2/ Take care of your own pleasure

Whenever you find that your arousal level is dropping and there are even slightest signs of discomfort, numbness or pain in your vagina, don’t just keep going, ignoring the discomfort your body is experiencing! Instead, touch and caress yourself in a way that will help. You can also ask your partner to do it for you! There’s nothing wrong with stopping the intercourse half way to manually or orally stimulate each other.

I have a few go-to’s when it comes to boosting my arousal but I always remain open and explore what my body might like and enjoy in that particular lovemaking session. I particularly like to stroke my breasts or caress my clitoris. I also have a small vibrator that comes in handy on different occasions.

 

3/ Check in with your emotions

Your emotional state will have a huge impact on your ability to get and stay aroused. So make sure to check in with yourself. Is the idea of being sexual with your partner bringing you joy, excitement and delight? Or do you feel frustrated with him, do you feel tired or even feeling resentful of something that happened in the past? These things can sit deeply in our subconscious so dig deep and be honest with yourself about how you feel. Because some things might need to be resolved or taken care of first, before you can surrender to the bliss of your lovemaking!

 

4/ Undulate your hips and body

Men tend to thrust in a in-and-out linear motion. This can definitely be stimulating and deeply pleasurable but for women, what feels really exquisite is the pressure on the vaginal walls. This is because the legs of the clitoris extend down on both sides of the vaginal canal. This kind of stimulation can be created when either or both partner undulate their hips and move their bodies in more circular, or wave-like ways.

 

5/ Self-pleasure!

A woman who regularly touches and caresses her own body, is much more activated sensually and sexually. She’s also much more capable of experiencing more pleasure and deeper arousal in your body. Because she knows exactly what her body needs and what it desires. She knows how it likes being touched and she can activate her sensuality easily.

 

Please play with these tips, particularly if you do struggle with lack of wetness, with low arousal and if you experience discomfort or pain during intercourse. And gentlemen, keep reminding your ladies to stay in their bodies and to remain connected to their breath, their genitals and their sensuality.

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Can You Tell Your Partner What You Desire?

Can You Tell Your Partner What You Desire?

Why is authentic communication so hard?

Authentic self-expression and open communication have always been somewhat of a challenge to me. My early upbringing in a very traditional family, negatively impacted my confidence levels and taught me that pleasing others was more important than pleasing myself. I was also learning that other people were smarter than me and that their opinions were more valuable than mine. When you soak up this kind of conditioning from such young age, it will give you a lot of heavy baggage to carry and will cause a lot of troubles later on in life, particularly in relationships.

 

I mention this because a lot of people are affected by this in our society. A lot of women tend to be pleasers in relationships and, particularly in its early stages, are ready to give up their own hobbies, opinions and lifestyle in order to be more like their partner. Usually, this is actually not too attractive to the man who would rather discover her real passion, uniqueness and depth. To be fair, women also have biology against them. From our early history thousands of years ago, women needed to secure a strong, reliable man who would stand at the entrance of the cave, fighting away tigers and other predators, while the woman was caring for the babies. Modern woman still can often follow that subconscious pattern and give up on her own personality or identity in order to be more like him.

 

Our wounded inner child

But this is not the only reason why we struggle to communicate well in relationships. On top of genetic, biological and social conditioning, we all are also deeply affected by our previous wounding – from early childhood all the way up to the present moment. Our early hurts and traumas are particularly difficult to heal or overcome because as children we rarely have any defences or ways to protect ourselves and the pain sinks in really deep. These hurts start to create a pattern in our nervous system that influences the way we see the world, how we respond to other people and how we form relationships. A lot of things we don’t understand about falling in love is a result of these early experiences – why do I always fall in love with this kind of people? why am I repulsed by this kind of touch? why do I struggle to give my partner what they need?

 

From a very young age, I was mostly raised by my mum as my dad was often absent physically and pretty much always – emotionally. I kept hoping for his love and approval but he kept rejecting me so I spent my 20s subconsciously seeking out older men and trying to make them love me, in order to heal a deep wound of fatherly rejection. I kept repeating this unconscious pattern until I recognized my inner wounding and started the process of healing.

 

Do good girls have sex?

This kind of experiences, hurts and toxic patterns can cause women to slowly disconnect from their desires, authentic passion and their sensuality. That’s exactly what happened to me early in my life! Women live their lives according to a socially accepted norm and take on a role of a girlfriend, wife or a mother, together with all the beliefs and rules that are imposed on them from early age. Typically, women believe that “good girls don’t have sex” and that sexual lust and desire is somewhat dirty and belongs in the world of men.

 

It wasn’t until I started to question all these beliefs and to address the wounds, that my healing journey started. I studied Tantra, shamanism, sexology, therapy, yoga, breath-work and a wealth of other modalities. I created a powerful tantric practice that led me to a place of connection, embodiment and of reclaiming my body as beautiful, sensual and juicy. I discovered layers of deliciousness inside of myself and finally turned my inner light back on!

 

Entering a path of healing and transformation

Now, I’m passionate about sharing what I’ve learned with the world and about supporting women to learn, heal and transform their sex lives. I have collected all my best practices and juicy tools and put them together into an Orgasmic Empowerment course which is now available online to any lady looking to step into more fullness in her sexuality, femininity and in her life.

 

As women, we are naturally tantric and can experience many different types of orgasms including vaginal, G-spot, squirting, cervical, energetic, heart orgasms and many more. We can all restore and reawaken our true pleasure potential and become truly empowered, in the bedroom and outside of it.

 

Orgasmic Empowerment isn’t just a course, it’s a journey from wherever you are sexually right now into a place of sensual richness, blissful connection, ecstatic pleasure and much more. And I couldn’t be more excited to share it with the world!

 

You can find out more details about the course here: Orgasmic Empowerment online.

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3 Key Reasons Why You Need to Self-Pleasure

3 Key Reasons Why You Need to Self-Pleasure

Taboo of adult toys

I recently got some negative feedback and accusatory comments for a video I shared on YouTube.

The video was entitled “The Toys in My Naughty Drawer” and was created to inspire others to become more curious and daring in their self-pleasuring practice.

My goal was also to give others permission to talk about masturbation openly since I was courageous enough to share not only what I keep next to my bed but also what I do with each item.

In fact, I had a lot of fun showing and describing my pleasure collection, particularly so because I do play with a few unusual things.

But not everybody agreed with me and some people argued that masturbation was only for single or lonely people who were unable to enjoy any partner sex which, according to them, was clearly a higher level of a sexual activity.

They struggled to understand that I recommended self-touch not as a last resort but as a valid experience for people who also enjoy love-making with their partners.

 

Taboo of masturbation

I was also discussing the topic of my masturbation coaching with a client who is currently going through my Legendary Lover program.

Third step in the program deals with self-pleasuring and takes the longest to cover out of all the steps.

The reason for this is very simple – masturbation is our most basic form of sexual activity and the way we self-pleasure will determine the way we make love to others.

If you touch yourself in a quick, efficient way, focused on reaching a goal – that’s how you’ll have sex with your partner.

If you take your time, engage curiosity and concentrate on deepening pleasure and connection – your partner sex experiences will be enriched by that as well.

 

Why you need to self-pleasure

1/ Self-exploration

The better you know your body, erogenous zones and your pleasure potential, the better you can guide your partner to pleasure you.

Unfortunately, in our society most people don’t actually know what they want in bed and hence, are unable to ask for it.

We are all different and we all have different needs and desires.

These needs and desires can even change daily which can be very confusing to our partners, particularly if we don’t understand them ourselves.

Once we get to know our own bodies intimately, we can support each other in exploring our sensuality and pleasure.

Because it’s much better to give each other 5 minutes of what we really, really want than 30 minutes of what we THINK the other person wants.

 

2/ Pleasure training

Our bodies learn pleasure and can get better and better at it in the same way that your muscles get stronger and stronger as you keep going to the gym.

Self-pleasuring is a wonderful way to teach your body how to feel sexual pleasure and to train and condition yourself for a lifetime of orgasmic bliss and ecstasy.

Self-touch also allows us to overcome limiting beliefs, shame and guilt about our bodies.

Touching yourself slowly, mindfully, giving yourself a loving full-body massage will re-sensitize your skin and help you develop a deeper connection with your physical sensations and your erotic self.

Plus something that not many people are aware of – nobody can give you an orgasm, they can only support you in having one.

Whether you orgasm or not, depends on you only – your level of sensitivity, of connection with your body and any limiting beliefs in your head that might be inhibiting your orgasmic ability.

 

3/ It will make you happy

Yes, as simple as that – pleasure makes us happy, relaxed and content.

Awakening our sexual energy and feeling that deeply vibrant, ecstatic force flowing through our bodies charges us, energizes us and nurtures our bodies.

Orgasms cause a huge release of pleasure hormones and neurotransmitters that flood our system giving us more satisfaction, confidence and general wellbeing.

 

However, be aware that there are two different ways to orgasm – the explosive way which will deplete you and the implosive way which will nurture you.

Get in touch with me if you’d like to learn to orgasm like a pro and channel your ecstatic energy for rejuvenation, healing and virility!

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