Why is authentic communication so hard?
Authentic self-expression and open communication have always been somewhat of a challenge to me. My early upbringing in a very traditional family, negatively impacted my confidence levels and taught me that pleasing others was more important than pleasing myself. I was also learning that other people were smarter than me and that their opinions were more valuable than mine. When you soak up this kind of conditioning from such young age, it will give you a lot of heavy baggage to carry and will cause a lot of troubles later on in life, particularly in relationships.
I mention this because a lot of people are affected by this in our society. A lot of women tend to be pleasers in relationships and, particularly in its early stages, are ready to give up their own hobbies, opinions and lifestyle in order to be more like their partner. Usually, this is actually not too attractive to the man who would rather discover her real passion, uniqueness and depth. To be fair, women also have biology against them. From our early history thousands of years ago, women needed to secure a strong, reliable man who would stand at the entrance of the cave, fighting away tigers and other predators, while the woman was caring for the babies. Modern woman still can often follow that subconscious pattern and give up on her own personality or identity in order to be more like him.
Our wounded inner child
But this is not the only reason why we struggle to communicate well in relationships. On top of genetic, biological and social conditioning, we all are also deeply affected by our previous wounding – from early childhood all the way up to the present moment. Our early hurts and traumas are particularly difficult to heal or overcome because as children we rarely have any defences or ways to protect ourselves and the pain sinks in really deep. These hurts start to create a pattern in our nervous system that influences the way we see the world, how we respond to other people and how we form relationships. A lot of things we don’t understand about falling in love is a result of these early experiences – why do I always fall in love with this kind of people? why am I repulsed by this kind of touch? why do I struggle to give my partner what they need?
From a very young age, I was mostly raised by my mum as my dad was often absent physically and pretty much always – emotionally. I kept hoping for his love and approval but he kept rejecting me so I spent my 20s subconsciously seeking out older men and trying to make them love me, in order to heal a deep wound of fatherly rejection. I kept repeating this unconscious pattern until I recognized my inner wounding and started the process of healing.
Do good girls have sex?
This kind of experiences, hurts and toxic patterns can cause women to slowly disconnect from their desires, authentic passion and their sensuality. That’s exactly what happened to me early in my life! Women live their lives according to a socially accepted norm and take on a role of a girlfriend, wife or a mother, together with all the beliefs and rules that are imposed on them from early age. Typically, women believe that “good girls don’t have sex” and that sexual lust and desire is somewhat dirty and belongs in the world of men.
It wasn’t until I started to question all these beliefs and to address the wounds, that my healing journey started. I studied Tantra, shamanism, sexology, therapy, yoga, breath-work and a wealth of other modalities. I created a powerful tantric practice that led me to a place of connection, embodiment and of reclaiming my body as beautiful, sensual and juicy. I discovered layers of deliciousness inside of myself and finally turned my inner light back on!
Entering a path of healing and transformation
Now, I’m passionate about sharing what I’ve learned with the world and about supporting women to learn, heal and transform their sex lives. I have collected all my best practices and juicy tools and put them together into an Orgasmic Empowerment course which is now available online to any lady looking to step into more fullness in her sexuality, femininity and in her life.
As women, we are naturally tantric and can experience many different types of orgasms including vaginal, G-spot, squirting, cervical, energetic, heart orgasms and many more. We can all restore and reawaken our true pleasure potential and become truly empowered, in the bedroom and outside of it.
Orgasmic Empowerment isn’t just a course, it’s a journey from wherever you are sexually right now into a place of sensual richness, blissful connection, ecstatic pleasure and much more. And I couldn’t be more excited to share it with the world!
You can find out more details about the course here: Orgasmic Empowerment online.
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