How to Make Online Dating Work for You

How to Make Online Dating Work for You

Since I started running Soulmate Speed-Dating events, I’ve been talking to a lot of single people. And they’ve shared with me countless stories of struggles, challenges and disappointments of the modern dating life.

 

Somehow, it seems that finding The One has been getting more and more tricky these days.

 

A big part of that conversation usually is the internet and the world of online dating. Every time I ask people about it, I’m told that they are sick of it and that it has led them nowhere – message exchanges that don’t lead to a date, poor first dates that show no promise of compatibility or lovely get-togethers after which they never hear back from the other person.

 

And what that tells me is that we have it all backwards. The truth is that online dating absolutely can work and can lead to a meaningful connection with someone truly special. BUT we need to change our approach to it.

 

The way that online dating usually works is:

 

a) browse online profiles,

b) make your best judgement about others based on their photos and bios,

c) message each other in order to arrange a coffee date.

So we’re basically going out together and trying to make a connection with a complete stranger, someone we know nothing about. And to me that’s a recipe for disaster.

 

We’re meeting first and trying to make a connection later.

 

That’s backwards! In real life we go out with someone BECAUSE we’ve experienced some sort of connection or pull towards them first. In this traditional approach we connect first and THEN we date. But the online world has turned dating on its head and so the new approach is to date first and then to hope for a potential connection. Can you see now why you keep going on so many bad dates?

 

The success and popularity of my Soulmate Speed-Dating events can be explained by the fact that they facilitate deep conversations and vulnerable exchanges.

 

Attendees are guided to share their most authentic inner selves and to see the same in others. This allows them to detect quickly whether there is a compatibility there and a potential for a soulmate-type of relationship. After the event, these people go out together precisely because they had already experienced this kind of connection during the event.

 

So the question is: can you create the same thing in the online world as well? And the answer is ‘Yes’. You can absolutely create a connection first but it takes a little more time and work. But I believe that weeding out the potential disaster dates is well worth the effort!

 

The key is to create an opportunity for a deeper connection before you physically meet each other.

 

And you can simply do that on the phone. A phone call can be more stressful than emailing but it will reveal much more about them than a message would. So go ahead, call them and ask them about their cherished childhood memories, their sources of inspiration in daily lives or about their dreams and goals. It doesn’t really matter where exactly you take the conversation, as long as it goes into the more deep and meaningful territory. And then listen and share about yourself as well.

 

And this is where the magic will happen… or not.

 

Because that simple exchange will give you a deeper sense about your potential date. In many cases you’ll realize that you two have absolutely nothing in common or that the energy between you two feels just flat. And this will save you time or upset of a bad date. But if the conversation flows smoothly, you’re both enjoying it and you find points of connection easily, then you should definitely go out!

 

So now, equipped with that piece of advice you can turn your online dating efforts into a much more effective adventure. And you might even meet your soulmate!

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3 Surprising Things that Make Men Fall in Love

3 Surprising Things that Make Men Fall in Love

Hello, modern woman. Whether you’re single and dating or in a relationship, there’s something I’d love to share with you today. This information actually changed lives of countless women and allowed them to not only date better but to also create better, more loving and healthier relationships.

 

When I was in my 20s, I really loved dating. And a big part of my excitement were the preparations for each date – doing my hair and makeup and dressing up nicely for the man I was about to meet.

 

And I was absolutely certain that I had to show him the most sexy, gorgeous and attractive version of myself if I wanted him to stay.

 

There is obviously nothing wrong with that – men LOVE to look at beautiful women! But I was lacking a deeper understanding of men and of human nature. Because you see, men love to have sex with women who arouse their desire. But they fall in love with women who intrigue them and touch them on a very profound level. And pretty looks, short skirts or even boobie shots cannot create that kind of attraction.

 

So here are 3 surprising things that make men fall in love:

 

1/ Her passion

A woman who is deeply passionate about something is charismatic and very attractive to men. And it usually doesn’t matter what her passion is – it can be playing cello or collecting tupperware. He will find it exciting and even mesmerising to witness her talking about or acting on something that gives her so much joy that she immerses herself in it completely.

The reason why so many women get this wrong is that we’re conditioned to be pleasers. When a woman wants to impress a guy, she’ll adopt his passions and activities. But men see through this, lose attraction and walk away.

Instead of bending yourself backwards to show him that the two of you are alike, express yourself through what truly opens up your heart and makes your soul sing. He will see and admire your passion.

 

2/ Her authenticity

Most women at their core want to love someone and be loved in return. In order to achieve that, they might be willing to sacrifice their own views, opinions and dreams if these are not aligned with the decisions or views of the man they want to seduce or keep. But what huge majority of men find attractive is a woman who is fiercely committed to what she believes in and who won’t bend to please others.

We all need to be open to negotiation and a change of plans from time to time. But if you want him to stay by your side, show him that you have a spine and can make choices for yourself.

 

3/ Her femininity

Our culture encourages women to be successful, efficient and business-minded. We value punctuality, goals, results and hard work. But the essence of a woman is to flow, to be connected to her feelings and heart, instead of only living in her head. Women are softer than men, emotional and go through cyclical changes in line with their hormones and feelings. They’re intuitive and not always reasonable. To deny that aspect of a woman is to deny her true self.

Let go of the need to adhere to society’s standards and show him your feminine essence. The attraction between sexes is based on polarity between men and women. The more different we are, the more we attract each other. Men don’t always understand women’s complexity and emotionality but they’re always mesmerised by it.

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Relationships Are Not Meant to Make Us Happy

Relationships Are Not Meant to Make Us Happy

We enter romantic relationships for many different reasons – love, mutual attraction, fear of loneliness, peer pressure, social expectation, desire for sex, desire for money, we want a family, etc. And underneath all of these reasons, there’s also that deeper one, the more universal one – we want to be happy.

 

Fairy tales seduce us from early childhood with stories about finding that one and true love and of living happily ever after.

 

But as soon as we enter the world of romantic attraction and intimate connecting, we realize that romantic pursuits are not simple or easy. Each time a relationship starts, we’re full of hope for that forever after story. Every time a relationship ends, we wonder why we failed or we console ourselves in the knowing that we made a mistake and picked a wrong person. Not to worry, we’ll just continue looking for Mr or Mrs Right. Next time we’ll surely do better. But we never do and our relationships keep ending, one after another. And even if they manage to last, we struggle with issues and difficulties that we never saw coming.

 

So why exactly do we keep failing to find eternal happiness in a relationship? Because that’s not how romantic relationships work. We’ve been lied to. Relationships are not meant to make us happy. We can try all we want but the simple truth is that making us happy is not the role of the relationship or of whoever our current partner is. Relationships are about something else.

 

Relationships are meant to make us conscious, to make us grow.

 

And only when we truly embrace this idea, we’ll actually be able to find peace, understanding and happiness in our relationship.

 

When I first learned about this, it hit me like a tonne of bricks because I desperately wanted my partner to make me happy. I placed the responsibility for my satisfaction in his hands and kept waiting for the magic to happen… but it didn’t.

 

We obviously had good times – full of love, joy, compassion and trust. But eventually we would always somehow end up in an argument. There were misunderstandings, there were frustrations and there was anger. And I kept trying to fix things to make us happy again. It was a mad circle that I couldn’t get out of. Until I understood… that he was never there to make me happy. He was there to help me grow, to help me see what still needed healing, addressing or processing within me.

 

All relationships with other people serve us as mirrors of our own issues and shortcomings.

 

But a romantic relationship is one of the closest kinds of relationships that we can ever get into. And because of that it’s the most intense form of mirror that we’ll ever encounter. Our intimate partner is a perfect match to whatever needs addressing which is what makes that person so attractive to us. We fall in love because we subconsciously recognize that this person is able to show us our wounds, hurts and traumas. And if we choose to, we’ll grow, heal and expand together.

 

In this way, each relationship we enter, has the potential to make us more conscious, more aware and more healed. Most people resist this idea and refuse to grow and heal. These people usually end up feeling stuck, unable to overcome their issues. But the opportunities are always there and it’s up to us to accept them and welcome them with open hearts and minds.

 

It can be challenging to admit that we’re not as smart, mature or enlightened as we would like to think. But behind that step, there’s a world of new, deeper realms and possibilities. If we choose to accept them.

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What Women Want for Xmas

What Women Want for Xmas

Some time ago my partner Dave ran a workshop for men which created a media sensation. The workshop’s topic was “What women want”.

 

Dave was immediately contacted for interviews by TV, radio and newspapers. One of the TV producers admitted: “We asked around the office to see who knew what women wanted and nobody had any answers.” Everybody was curious and wanted to learn more. Dave was proclaimed a ‘love guru’ and one of the interviews was aired on national television.

 

Something very important was being highlighted that week – many, many men lack insight and understanding about women. Thousands of men were resonating with the question, yet had nowhere to turn to for answers.

 

Women can be hard to understand as their needs and wants change. All women are also very different and it’s hard to apply any blanket rules to them. As Dave himself admits:

 

“I don’t claim to understand everything about women. Every day I seek to learn more about women and understand them better. I’ve heard men respond with “no idea” when asked the question “What do women want?”  I think that’s a lazy response. Although there’ll always be an element of mystery about women, I believe there’s a lot that CAN be understood.”

 

So what DO women want?

 

A lot of men think that it’s good looks, money, big muscles or a sense of humour. And as much as these things can certainly add appeal, they’re only secondary to what women truly desire. Dave was able to discover a number of qualities that men can develop in themselves in order to create attraction, charisma and a powerful presence around women.

 

Some of these qualities are:

  • Ability to be relaxed and confident around women,
  • Letting go of neediness,
  • Deep understanding that your worth is not dependent on the approval of the woman in front of you,
  • Ability to hold onto yourself, your values and choices,
  • Direction in life,
  • Passion and purpose,
  • Ability to lead her when you’re together,
  • Etc.

 

Dave is no longer running these workshops. But in order to make his hard-earned knowledge available to men all over the world, I’ve teamed up with him to share our insights, tips and powerful techniques in a series of 31 video lessons. The videos are available online and can be currently accessed at a discounted price leading up to Xmas.

 

The What Women Want video series covers such topics as:

 

1/ Where to meet women,

2/ What women really want and how to give it to them,

3/ How to approach her in a way that opens her up and gives you the best chance of creating a connection with her,

4/ How to ask for her number and ask her out on a date,

5/ How to move things into the bedroom,

6/ Healthy relationship principles,

7/ and much more.

 

What Women Want principles are based on a very authentic and honest approach. There is no manipulative tricks contained in the course. Integrity and transparency are fundamental to the course content. So if you’re looking for a way to trick or manipulate women, this course is NOT for you!

 

If it’s a priority in your life to improve your romantic life in 2019, then take action on this opportunity today. And if you’re a woman who knows a man who could benefit from this material, then it might just be the best Xmas present he ever got.

 

Click here to learn more and to start your own What Women Want journey. Make sure to use the coupon code WWWXMAS at the checkout for a 50% discount!

 

Don’t let another Xmas roll around with the same old problems continuing in your romantic life. Take action and create the changes you want to see for yourself!

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The Truth About Erections

The Truth About Erections

We all know that the body changes with age. The skin becomes thinner and starts to wrinkle, the digestion slows down, muscles become weaker, hair thinner, bellies rounder… Yet we think that erections are outside of the influence of aging. They are not!

 

A man in his thirties will discover that his body is not as prone to spontaneous erections as it was when he was a teenager or in his early twenties.

 

He will also discover that, on occasion, he might not actually be able to have an erection when he wants to. Past the age of forty, this tendency will become even stronger as guaranteed erections become a thing of the past. He will be definitely able to have an erection, but not every single time. His erections will not be as strong anymore either.

 

Many men come to me asking me to help them have a rock-hard erection for hours. And as much as I can help them strengthen their erections, it is a myth and an unrealistic expectation to be this hard for this long.

 

In my experience as a woman and as a Tantra practitioner, erections come and go.

 

Making love for hours does not mean penetrating her with a rock-hard penis the entire time. I actually think that it would be quite boring if it was the case!

 

In Tantra, sex does not equal intercourse. Penetration is just one of the aspects of lovemaking. Tantric sex consists of connecting intimately, of becoming present together, of setting an intention, of breathing in sync, of caressing, touching, kissing, circling energy between your bodies, using erotic massage, opening your hearts and delving deep into each other. It is a playful connection of two bodies, two minds, two hearts and two souls. It is a deep exploration of each other in the space of a sacred union. It is a session of worship and of honouring each other’s body. It is a sensual ritual of intimate connection without a script or a goal.

 

As Deej Juventin from the Institute of Somatic Sexology taught me, once you start to grow older “it is not just about your hard cock anymore”.

 

In your teenage years and early twenties, your body is biologically primed to produce an offspring, so erections are strong, frequent and easy. You can ejaculate often and the refractory period is reasonably short. Your body’s focus is in your pants to the point where it can get annoying.

 

With age, this focus shifts to your heart. Your body does not want to connect with a woman only through an erection anymore. You start to appreciate the finer aspects of your relationship with her, you start to look for that special spark in her eye, you start having deep and meaningful conversations with her and you actually enjoy them instead of simply waiting to have sex with her. You take her dancing, and delight in watching her body twirl and bend in a sensual joy of movement and flow.

 

So please stop worrying so much about your erection and your performance. If she walks out of your life because you did not have a rock-hard erection for an hour, she was not worth your time or your affection.

 

– excerpt from “Legendary Lover: 6 Essential Steps to Having Great Sex”

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