First of all, let me say that there is nothing wrong with using vibrators and I currently own two gorgeous purple toys – a smaller one and a big, powerful ‘mama-wand’.

They are a part of my self-pleasuring experience from time to time and I do enjoy the convenience and ease of using them.

But some years ago I used to be fairly addicted to my vibrator.

I used it every time I masturbated, it was making things so easy, quick and efficient.

I felt like a 5-minute experience was a good one because it wasn’t taking a lot of my time and I could go off to do other things soon after.

 

I notice a similar level of a vibrator addiction in many women I speak to.

They use it when they are on their own and with a partner.

Some of them reach for it every single time they seek arousal.

And I feel that when we become completely reliant on an object, using it becomes an addiction and no longer a free choice.

There are a few reasons why I recommend ditching your vibrator for a while and I definitely am experiencing many beautiful benefits of ‘going back to basics’ when it comes to touching my genitals.

 

1/ You become more sensitive

Excessive use of a vibrator will progressively de-sensitize your body.

Our genitals are extremely sensitive with a very rich network of nerve endings contained within them.

They are capable of responding with pleasure to a very gentle touch, however, intense vibrations of a toy can be too much.

In order to cope with intense stimulation, the sensitivity of our genitals will slowly start to decrease in order to protect the area from any potential discomfort.

When you touch yourself with fingers, the stimulation is not as intense and allows the body to relax and open up to it instead of shutting down.

Tip: use coconut oil for even more gentleness and yumminess!

 

2/ You learn about your pleasure potential

Stimulation performed with fingers is slower and takes more time to build up arousal.

This allows you time to be more playful, to explore, to look for your pleasure.

Our bodies and genitals are capable of producing many different types of yummy and delightful sensations.

Our erotic selves are rich and complex, and don’t forget that your entire body is one big erogenous zone!

Involving more than just your genitals in your sensual play will provide more expanded and full-body ecstatic states.

Don’t settle for just one kind of stimulation!

 

3/ You reach deeper states of pleasure

Many of us know that the longer we hold off before the big-O, the more powerful it is.

And yet, we still choose quick, rushed experiences.

It’s highly unlikely you’ll be able to take yourself (or your partner) into a state of powerful, expanded orgasmic bliss if you only take 5 minutes (or less) to get there.

Arousal and sexual pleasure keep building up more and more, the more time you give yourself.

And particularly when you learn how to spread that delicious energy throughout your entire body, you can reach much deeper into your orgasmic potential.

And as much as there is nothing wrong with having ‘quickies’ from time to time, make sure to also have gourmet experiences in the bedroom!

 

4/ You develop a stronger relationship with your body

Our society doesn’t support us in loving and celebrating our bodies.

We keep being bombarded by advertising messages that try to convince us that we are not attractive enough, not slim enough, not strong enough…

Many people do not like their bodies and have a difficulty even looking at themselves in the mirror.

Using a vibrator can deepen this estrangement as you don’t get to touch and enjoy your body in a loving way.

Since I’ve been self-pleasuring using mostly my hands and fingers, I’ve developed a much stronger and more compassionate bond with my body.

I see it as a temple of delight, pleasure and sensuality.

I celebrate all my different favourite spots and I give myself touch often throughout the day.

I’ve also learnt that the more you love your body, the more pleasure it’ll give you!

 

5/ You re-discover the joys of playing

Using a vibrator can become a very goal-oriented task.

We become so focused on the outcome, that we simply reach for a tool that will get us there in the most efficient way.

But the true delight and enjoyment in sex comes from being playful and curious.

Letting go of the need to climax fast will allow you a more open mind and an attitude that will allow more experimentation and variety.

Imagine that you’re a kid and that you’re getting to know your body for the first time.

Touch everywhere, explore and try different things.

Bring that child-like playfulness and curiosity into your bedroom.

And above all, celebrate your body and have fun!

And if you want to learn more about developing your orgasmic ability, check out my Orgasmic Empowerment online course for women!

 

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