10 Things Most People Still Don’t Know About Anal Sex

10 Things Most People Still Don’t Know About Anal Sex

Most people in our society still have a lot of hangups around their anuses. We consider them dirty, shameful and anal touch – wrong and embarrassing. The truth is that the poor, disgraced anus is extremely nerve rich, making it a very sensitive spot, able to receive and enjoy a lot of pleasure.


Both men and women are capable of experiencing intense pleasure in their anal areas. However, in order to have a truly enjoyable experience, you need to be aware of the rules of anal touch and anal sex.


Dr. Jack Morin was an American pioneer in the field of anal pleasure, and over many years he had done a lot of marvellous work helping men and women reclaim erotic pleasure in their anuses and to heal the phenomenon of “genital hole” – a high degree of dissociation and numbness many people experience there. I learned a lot from him about anal touch and if you are interested in delving into this subject much deeper, you should definitely research his work.


Here is what you need to know in order to be successful in your anal play:


1/  No pain

Anal touch should never, ever hurt. If it does – you are doing it wrong. Anal sphincters are muscle rings located at the entrance of the anus which are meant to keep things moving out. If something is introduced from the outside (a finger, penis or a toy), these muscles will tense up in order to stop the intrusion. Instead of forcing items in, you need to massage the anus externally first, in order to relax the sphincters before the insertion.


2/  Lubrication

There is no natural lubrication in the anus so you always need to use a lubricant during anal play. I recommend coconut oil.


3/  Rectum

Past the anal sphincters, you will encounter the rectum. Faeces are not normally stored in there until just before the bowel movement. You can, however, encounter traces of faeces in there. If that is a problem for either of you, I recommend having an enema or using nitrile gloves for protection.


4/  What to use

For most couples, anal sex does not include using the penis. Instead, they prefer using fingers or toys. Oral stimulation of the anus is called rimming and can be a source of a lot of pleasure. Using vibrating toys externally or internally can add an exciting level of pleasure.


5/  Sexual health

There are health risks associated with anal contact and if you are worried about STI’s, make sure to use a barrier – a condom for insertion or a dental dam for rimming.


6/  Communication

Keep communicating during the experience. The person being penetrated always has the final say when it comes to the anal stimulation. Nothing should be inserted into the anus until the recipient of the touch is ready and keen. As soon as they say ‘stop’, this should be fully respected. The anus is a highly sensitive area and as such, it can be both a source of a lot of pleasure and a lot of pain. As soon as the pleasure turns into pain, all touch should stop.


7/  Prostate

Many men enjoy prostate stimulation. The prostate is located on the belly side of the rectum, about two knuckles in.


8/  Anal orgasms

It is possible to experience anal orgasms, even without any direct genital stimulation. In my experience, this is not very common but it does happen sometimes; particularly when the person being anally stimulated is not determined to have an orgasm, but rather is completely immersed in the moment and in the pleasure they are experiencing, without any goals or expectations.


9/  Toy safety

If you are using toys, make sure to pick the ones with a flared base as it is possible to lose items inside the anus.


10/  Anal tension

Due to a sedentary lifestyle, trauma or shame, many people hold chronic tension inside the anus which can make insertion difficult and uncomfortable. In such cases, I recommend gently inserting the tip of your own finger into the anus while in the shower or a bath and trying to consciously relax the anal sphincters. When done on a regular basis, this practice will allow you to enjoy anal stimulation much more.


If you are still feeling a bit uncertain about anal stimulation, I would definitely recommend using nitrile gloves. This can provide a level of comfort to both parties from the hygiene perspective, and also for the protection of the receiver as nails or hard skin can feel unpleasant against the soft tissue of the anal canal.


As long as you are keeping in mind the rules of anal sex, you are very likely to give your beloved a very beautiful, safe and even ecstatic experience of anal pleasure.


Above all, take your time, stay curious, keep checking in with them and use plenty of lubrication. You might even discover that your partner becomes open to the idea of anal intercourse if this is something they had been opposed to before!

– from “Legendary Lover: 6 Essential Steps to Having Great Sex” by Helena Nista



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When I first heard of the G-spot and the G-spot orgasms, I was still a teenager and the whole concept was covered with a layer of mystery. I knew it was somewhere inside my vaginal canal and I even tried to look for it with my fingers but failed to locate it. My G-spot remained elusive (if it was even a real thing!) for many more years…


According to many people, the G-spot holds the key to woman’s vaginal orgasms.


Vaginal (internal) orgasms provide us ladies with a very different experience than the more common clitoral climax. The internal O feels more profound, more expansive, more grounding… It seems to flow like waves through our entire bodies, immersing us in a bliss-like state… which is in quite a contrast with the more external, explosive and sharp clitoral peaks.


The sad truth is that many, many women don’t know where their own G-spot is. Or how powerful its potential for pleasure is! Many other women are familiar with their G-spots but the area can be very de-sensitized due to years of rough sex. This means that a lot of ladies will struggle to stimulate that spot in a pleasurable way or they might even feel like there’s not a lot of sensation there. So if even women are confused about their G-spots, what chance of success do men have?


Where is the G-spot?


It’s not really a spot but more an area and it’s located on the upper wall of the vagina, close behind the vaginal entrance.


How to find it?


Insert a finger into the vaginal canal about two knuckles in. Press the pads of your fingers up towards her belly and start exploring. You’ll notice that the skin texture there is quite different than the rest of her vaginal canal. The vaginal walls are pretty smooth but the G-spot feels more like the roof of your mouth. The ridges will typically become even more pronounced when the woman is aroused.


How to stimulate the G-spot?


This is where all the fun begins… All women are different and like different things but here are a few techniques to start you off on this exploration adventure:


1/ Circles

Massage the G-spot with your fingers in a circular motion. Vary speed and pressure. Keep asking for her feedback to figure out what kind of touch works best for her.


2/ Come-hither motion

Insert a finger, press it into the G-spot and slowly pull it out, allowing it to glide over the whole area. It should feel like as if you were dragging a coin off of the table.

Vary speed and pressure. Try two or even three fingers. Keep asking for feedback.


3/ Pressing in

Place your finger on the G-spot and push into it. Keep communicating with her to find the best level of pressure. After a few moment, move your finger to a different location (within the same area) and repeat. Keep repeating until you find all the most yummy spots.

Remember that even a tiny difference in the placement of your finger can make a huge difference to her pleasure!


4/ Toys

There is a whole range of dildos and specifically shaped G-spot massagers out there. They can be a lot of fun to play with!

And if you’re on a budget, you can use a cucumber but make sure that it’s peeled and smooth. Also, ask your lady if she has a preference for a particular vegetable.


5/ Penetration

The good old missionary position isn’t typically great for stimulating the G-spot but there are other great options:

– modified missionary – the woman puts a few pillows under her butt and keeps her feet flat on the bed,

– woman on top – man is lying on his back, woman lowers herself onto his penis, BUT she needs to lean back, this way she can position herself pretty well for some G-spot action,

– reverse cowgirl – this is still woman on top but here she’s facing her lover’s feet instead of his head,

– from behind – not quite the doggy style because the woman lies down on her belly with her legs together while her lover enters her from behind.


Make sure to experiment with all these positions, looking for the best angle, pressure and speed. And make sure to be playful about the whole experience! Nothing kills the erotic fun more quickly than treating it like a chore.


This is an invitation to start exploring the mysterious G-spot and learning more about it.


The more familiar we are with our (and our partner’s) genital anatomy, the better we can navigate our way around it and the more pleasure we can give and receive.


So let’s start exploring!


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