Are We All Romantic Idiots?

Are We All Romantic Idiots?

There is something deeply special, even magical about being in love. When we meet someone attractive and interesting, someone who catches our eye, we start to think about them more and more often, we begin to imagine scenarios where we’re together, we even start to obsess about them!…

We hope and pray that our feelings are returned, we imagine sweet future that awaits us in the arms of that one particular person. We beg fate for a sign that they feel the same, that we’re loved back.

The torture of uncertainty can move us quickly from beautiful images of mutual bliss to depths of despair of a broken heart.

 

What if we’re rejected? What if they don’t love us?

 

After all, how often do you meet someone as amazing as them? And having met them, how can you ever imagine spending your life with anybody else? It’s a torture to even suspect that you might need to carry on living without them…

To a perfectly reasonable, level-headed person, this emotional state can seem like insanity. Who in their right mind would ever want to suffer this way? Who would ever sign up for this kind of obsessive madness? This isn’t just about a temporary emotional turmoil. This state can last weeks, months or even years, restricting our ability to act as reasonable human beings. The in-love obsession can pull us away from our tasks, chores and daily routines, ruining our focus and limiting our sense of joy in life.

Yet, the amount of songs, books, poems, etc. devoted to romantic love is mind-boggling. Humans seem to have an uncontrollable need to express either the depth of their love towards someone special or the depth of their despair over a broken heart.

 

So, what should we make of this?…

 

Falling in love is a part of our human nature. What varies from person to person, is the strength of this obsession and how much it affects the rest of our lives. On one side of the spectrum, there are people who are profoundly romantic and can lose themselves deeply in this state – tormented, distracted and deeply melancholic until the uncertainty of their feelings is removed. This uncertainty is removed either by being loved back (in which case the romantic obsession can turn into a much calmer, safer version of love) or by loss of all hope. It’s also important to remember that here what will be important is the perception of the person being in love about reciprocity or about its lack. To an outsider, the case might seem clear but it needs to be the one in love who feels that the uncertainty is gone.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are people who do fall in love but whose romantic feelings do not affect other areas of their lives. To these individuals, someone madly, obsessively in love can seem like a crazy person, a maniac who lost all his senses and is spending his time longing after someone and sighing on end.

 

I recently posted this quote on social media, asking whether others agreed with it:

 

“A fleeting touch on the cheek from the one I adore, will be worth more than six hours in thirty-seven positions with someone I do not.”

 

I was expecting a mixed response, yet the comments were overwhelmingly positive – yes, we do prefer that fleeting touch!

Oh wow, in the world that represses eroticism, where most people I speak to would love to have more sex than they do now, even in that world we’d still choose romantic affection over sexual abundance…

 

Are we mad? Are we crazy? Or are we lying?…

 

I think not… I think that romantic love is mysterious and I think that it’s complex. I think that human beings have this incredibly special ability to love romantically which separates us from other species. And I also think that being in love is a state quite unlike anything else we ever experience.

It can send us to heights of ecstasy. It can make us plummet to depths of grief. It can drive us crazy. It can consume most of our thoughts and attention and be detrimental to almost everything else in our lives.

And despite all that, I truly believe that romantic love is deeply and incredibly beautiful. And that it enriches our lives, even if only temporarily. Besides, can you imagine our world without all the love songs and romantic movies?

Me neither!

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How to Amp Up Your Sexy

How to Amp Up Your Sexy

When I first heard of a practice called ‘Golden Chalice’, it seduced me with both the experience it was promising me and with its name. Doesn’t it sound so lush, so feminine – Golden Chalice… Like a female version of ‘Holy Grail’!

 

This technique is designed to awaken your sexual charisma and to spread it out through your entire body until it permeates every cell of your system and radiates from every inch of your skin. It moves your arousal energy from your deep core and then out through the rest of your being until you’re feeling that vibrant erotic charge flowing through you freely.

 

This creates a sense of magnetic charisma in your body and gives you a seductive quality that people around you notice and react to.

 

It activates you in a deeply primal, grounded, yet sublime way. It gives your energy a mysterious vibe that others can’t usually understand, and find hard to resist.

 

So, as you’re probably suspecting, I immediately started using Golden Chalice in my daily life. I would practice it before going on dates, when going to meetings and even walking down the street. I’ve always loved noticing how it makes me feel, how it uplifts me and makes the world around me shine.

 

Depending on the day, I would get more or less intense results with it. Sometimes it would feel like it was making barely any difference and on other days I would feel like my body was on some kind of erotic high! I guess all depends on how much my body wants to play and how much energy I have available that day…

 

Golden Chalice was designed for women but men can also successfully play with it.

 

In order to experience it for yourself, sit down comfortably with your spine straight, without leaning back on anything. You’re going to need a bit of a flexibility of movement here.

 

Gently deepen your breathing and bring your attention down to your pelvic bowl. Now, very subtly, with awareness, start slowly moving your pelvis in a circular motion – as if it was a glass of exquisite cognac that you were swirling around. The movement doesn’t need to be large or fast, in fact, it should be almost imperceptible to an outsider.

 

As you’re doing that, imagine that the erotic juices in your pelvis are waking up and flowing around your pelvis, following your movement. Give yourself a few moments to really experience this movement. Make sure that your genital area is relaxed, make sure that you can really feel and experience the deliciousness of this delightful energy circling around.

 

And now imagine that the effervescent essence of this ‘liquid’ is starting to gently rise through your body. As you’re moving and swirling it, that erotic energy is beginning to slowly vaporize and move like delicious sparkly cloud through your entire system. Give yourself some time to fully delight in this experience, to savour it, to absorb it…

 

Notice how it makes you feel, notice the sensations in your body, notice how this affects the quality of your energy.

 

And now go outside and carry that energy with you. Pay attention to the way it affects your interactions with the world and give yourself a full permission to feel delicious!

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What If Sex Turns Bad

What If Sex Turns Bad

Some time ago I met a man who was a truly amazing lover. We were very compatible sexually and every time we were spending time together, things would get hot and steamy very quickly. He knew how to turn me on and how to send me to heights of pleasure. Orgasming with him was easy and I couldn’t get enough of his touch.

 

And then something changed.

 

One day he came to my place, we had dinner and a chat. Things soon moved to the bedroom and I was getting ready for another mind-blowing experience.

 

We started with some foreplay which aroused him visibly. He seemed in a rush to get inside me and we moved on to penetration a little too quickly for my liking. And within a few minutes he was finished and I was surprised, confused and frankly – disappointed.

 

Sexual education

 

In my work and in the content I publish online, I do my best to educate and inspire. I want to show what great sex really is and how to create it. I am very passionate about showing the world just how much is possible in the sexual realm and how to cultivate and explore our amazing erotic capabilities.

 

I talk about my own sexual experiences, I describe my self-pleasuring practices, my most intense orgasms, techniques that I found most helpful in the bedroom, etc. And I do it all not only to educate, but also in order to show that sex can be embraced as a normal, enjoyable and perfectly natural aspect of our lives. That we don’t need to feel embarrassed or ashamed when talking about it.

 

The real sex

 

However, I also want to make it clear that regardless of how hard you try, sex won’t always be amazing. At times it’ll be awkward, sometimes it’ll be boring, and on some occasions, you’ll struggle to come.

 

The truth is, nobody has only amazing sex – not even sex therapists! The less-than-perfect sexual moments happen to all of us, regardless of how much experience we have and how well we know our bodies, our preferences and the preferences of our partner.

 

Sex is always fantastic only in movies and never in real life. Real life experiences are different each time and there’s a variety of factors that need to be taken into account – how stressed we’ve been lately, how much we’ve been sleeping, how well we’ve been eating, how we feel about the partner in that particular moment and about our own selves.

 

When bad sex happens – and it will! – embrace it!

 

Learn from it, discuss it with your partner, have a laugh at it. Don’t take yourself too seriously in the bedroom, bad sex is not the end of the world!

 

Sometimes sex will be unexciting, sometimes uncomfortable and sometimes just plain bad. None of that means that you’re a bad lover, that the two of you are not compatible in the bedroom or that the spark is gone. It just means that you’re human and you’re having a perfectly natural, human experience.

 

Be open and honest with your partner and discuss your experience. Learn what went wrong and why. Turn that encounter into an opportunity to learn and expand as a lover. After all, it’s all part of our sexual learning curve!

 

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