About Full-Body Orgasms

About Full-Body Orgasms

Recently I gave an interview where one of the questions asked was “what is a full-body orgasm?”. As this is something I hear very often AND just in case you were also wondering, let me tell you a little story from my life…

 

One of my first full-body orgasms happened when I was driving my car.

 

I was exercising my PC muscle (aka doing kegels) while breathing my erotic energy up and down my spine. I felt good, happy and excited about life. I was listening to some of my favourite songs and I was looking around at the beautiful nature, feeling joyful and satisfied with life. Suddenly an amazing orgasmic tingling sensation started travelling through my body. As I kept breathing, waves of orgasmic energy started rolling through my system and I kept fuelling them with my breath. As soon as they would decrease in intensity, I would concentrate again on deep breaths in order to keep the wonderful feeling going. This entire orgasmic experience lasted about 20 minutes.

Since that experience, I’ve been giving myself orgasms regularly using just my breath. This ability had also shifted my relationship with clitoral orgasms as they now seemed way too quick, sharp and somehow unsatisfying in most cases. They just couldn’t compare to riding orgasmic waves for minutes or hours. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with clitoral stimulation because there isn’t and I do enjoy it tremendously! But in most cases I use it to give my sexual energy a boost and not as the only means of achieving an orgasm.

 

At that point of my life, I also started questioning the definition of orgasm as a purely genital experience.

 

After doing a bit of research, I found out that Tantra recognizes many, many different types of orgasms (as opposed to just genital orgasms) and that the description of this experience is much broader than what we’re used to in the Western world. According to Tantric teachings, an orgasm is a release or movement of energy in the body. It usually comes with a feeling of being high on life, on an emotion (happiness, gratitude, but also anger, sadness, etc.). A full-body orgasm can be experienced pretty much anytime and anywhere and can be triggered by a beautiful sunset, feeling of love, taste of chocolate, etc. This kind of sensation is much different than a peak, clitoral orgasm as it involves your entire body and lasts much, much longer.

And even more to the point – full-body orgasms can be experienced with a lover. They’re not limited to people with certain skills, body type or level of consciousness. Everybody, regardless of their gender, age or sexual experience, can ride orgasmic waves during sex and in fact, it’s one of the best opportunities to do so.

The reason why I started here with a story of a self-induced (and breath-induced) full-body orgasm is simply that once you can experience them on your own, you can easily have them with a partner.

 

Yes, it all starts with you!

 

A prerequisite of a tantric orgasm is being present and that means being fully in the moment, mindful of one’s body and sensations. These days we’re rarely truly present as we keep worrying about the future or the past. As a result, the present moment gets very little attention. Stressed about what happened during the day or making plans for the future, we rarely find the time to simply observe the current moment. We miss out on all the joy of mindfully appreciating that cappuccino or a conversation with a friend. The mind always racing, we barely ever experience a peaceful moment of acknowledgement or gratitude.

And it’s in those gentle moments of calm mind and open spirit that we find most beauty, joy and wonder. As you watch the world around you with glittering eyes and quiet appreciation, simply allow your energy to travel up and down your body with relaxed muscles and a full abdominal breath. As you clear more and more energetic blockages in your body, you’ll find yourself tingling more and more with deep, orgasmic sensations.

 

And this is exactly what happened to me in the car…

 

I was fully present in the moment, simply observing the world around me and listening to the music, happy and completely stress free. My body was relaxed and open, my mind was calm and present. Life felt amazing! And then the orgasm came.

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Talking About STDs with a New Lover

Talking About STDs with a New Lover

I recently received this question from one of my clients:

 

“Hey there! You have taught me a lot about having certain conversations in an open and honest way that I was previously very anxious about. So thank you so much for that! I was wondering if you could give me advice on how to have an honest conversation regarding STI/STD testing, and flow into said conversation in an organic manner, without making it sound abrupt or turning it into a ‘mood killer’. Any help would be much appreciated.”

 

Talking about sexual health with each new lover is extremely important and no sexual contact should be initiated without it.

 

The possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted disease is very real and should be treated as such.

 

But the truth is that many people neglect to have that conversation. Initiating physical intimacy without addressing the sexual health concerns first seems easier and even more romantic. After all, who wants to kill the mood by talking about STDs! But make no mistake – having sex with an infected person could potentially cost you much more than just physical discomfort or an awkward visit to a GP.

 

So why do we stray away from talking about sexual health? Mostly, because we’re not sure how to have that chat. Secondly, because we feel embarrassed about it. Nobody prepares us for this kind of communication and the taboo and stigma that surrounds sex is much, much stronger around sexually transmitted infections.

 

But breaking the cycle of shame and discomfort around sexual health is not hard.

 

Firstly, big part of addressing it, is around checking your own attitude about it. If you approach the topic with shame and awkwardness, that kind of energy is going to leak into your discussion with a new lover. So wandering into the world of sexual health conversations needs to be done with an open and confident attitude.

 

I once heard a sexual educator share during a workshop that he had genital herpies virus in his system. As he expressed it, there was not a trace of contraction or shame in his voice or body. His face remained peaceful, his eyes still, his body relaxed. He looked at us all with confidence and kept going with his talk.

 

I must say – I was impressed!

 

Do you think that anybody judged him for his confession? No! Not a person in the room felt uncomfortable or put off by his words.

 

And that’s very important to remember – your own energy around the topic will set the tone for the chat with your new partner. If you approach the conversation with confidence and a relaxed attitude, they’re very likely to follow your lead. And if you speak your words with embarrassment, they’re likely to feel uncomfortable as well.

 

But the truth is that STDs are a part of life and are more common than you might think. In many cases, it’s also very difficult to protect yourself from them as condoms aren’t always 100% reliable. Being aware of the state of your own sexual health is crucial and regular checks allow you to address any issues early.

 

So once you’re clear on your own sexual health situation, it’s important to check in with your new lover. And I would definitely have that conversation BEFORE you actually move into the bedroom. Whenever it’s becoming obvious that both of you are intending to get intimate, it’s important to first sit down together and ask a few questions.

 

And in terms of an actual structure of the conversation, here’s a template you can use:

 

“If that’s ok with you, I’d really like to have a sexual health conversation with you.

My situation is… (disclose the current state of your sexual health).

My last sexual health check was…

And for protection, I would like us to use…”

 

Next invite your lover to share the same.

 

Remember – there’s no humiliation in catching an STD. And the medicine advances mean that many of them are 100% treatable. But the most scary and painful of them all is shame itself. So let it go and take care of your health in the bedroom!

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