Even though I’ve been actively studying Tantra and sexuality for many years now, and even though I maintain an active connection with my body, my sensuality and my genitals, at times I still struggle with sex. At times, I lose my libido and struggle to get aroused....
Recently I gave an interview where one of the questions asked was “what is a full-body orgasm?”. As this is something I hear very often AND just in case you were also wondering, let me tell you a little story from my life…
One of my first full-body orgasms happened when I was driving my car.
I was exercising my PC muscle (aka doing kegels) while breathing my erotic energy up and down my spine. I felt good, happy and excited about life. I was listening to some of my favourite songs and I was looking around at the beautiful nature, feeling joyful and satisfied with life. Suddenly an amazing orgasmic tingling sensation started travelling through my body. As I kept breathing, waves of orgasmic energy started rolling through my system and I kept fuelling them with my breath. As soon as they would decrease in intensity, I would concentrate again on deep breaths in order to keep the wonderful feeling going. This entire orgasmic experience lasted about 20 minutes.
Since that experience, I’ve been giving myself orgasms regularly using just my breath. This ability had also shifted my relationship with clitoral orgasms as they now seemed way too quick, sharp and somehow unsatisfying in most cases. They just couldn’t compare to riding orgasmic waves for minutes or hours. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with clitoral stimulation because there isn’t and I do enjoy it tremendously! But in most cases I use it to give my sexual energy a boost and not as the only means of achieving an orgasm.
At that point of my life, I also started questioning the definition of orgasm as a purely genital experience.
After doing a bit of research, I found out that Tantra recognizes many, many different types of orgasms (as opposed to just genital orgasms) and that the description of this experience is much broader than what we’re used to in the Western world. According to Tantric teachings, an orgasm is a release or movement of energy in the body. It usually comes with a feeling of being high on life, on an emotion (happiness, gratitude, but also anger, sadness, etc.). A full-body orgasm can be experienced pretty much anytime and anywhere and can be triggered by a beautiful sunset, feeling of love, taste of chocolate, etc. This kind of sensation is much different than a peak, clitoral orgasm as it involves your entire body and lasts much, much longer.
And even more to the point – full-body orgasms can be experienced with a lover. They’re not limited to people with certain skills, body type or level of consciousness. Everybody, regardless of their gender, age or sexual experience, can ride orgasmic waves during sex and in fact, it’s one of the best opportunities to do so.
The reason why I started here with a story of a self-induced (and breath-induced) full-body orgasm is simply that once you can experience them on your own, you can easily have them with a partner.
Yes, it all starts with you!
A prerequisite of a tantric orgasm is being present and that means being fully in the moment, mindful of one’s body and sensations. These days we’re rarely truly present as we keep worrying about the future or the past. As a result, the present moment gets very little attention. Stressed about what happened during the day or making plans for the future, we rarely find the time to simply observe the current moment. We miss out on all the joy of mindfully appreciating that cappuccino or a conversation with a friend. The mind always racing, we barely ever experience a peaceful moment of acknowledgement or gratitude.
And it’s in those gentle moments of calm mind and open spirit that we find most beauty, joy and wonder. As you watch the world around you with glittering eyes and quiet appreciation, simply allow your energy to travel up and down your body with relaxed muscles and a full abdominal breath. As you clear more and more energetic blockages in your body, you’ll find yourself tingling more and more with deep, orgasmic sensations.
And this is exactly what happened to me in the car…
I was fully present in the moment, simply observing the world around me and listening to the music, happy and completely stress free. My body was relaxed and open, my mind was calm and present. Life felt amazing! And then the orgasm came.
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