Even though I’ve been actively studying Tantra and sexuality for many years now, and even though I maintain an active connection with my body, my sensuality and my genitals, at times I still struggle with sex. At times, I lose my libido and struggle to get aroused....
What answer would you give me if I asked you: “Can you feel your body?”
Would it be: “Yes, of course!” or would you stop to really think about it?
What if I told you that you’ve forgotten how to actually feel your body?
And that if you were really feeling it, you’d be in a mild (or not so mild) ecstatic state every time you took a deep breath? Every time you experienced warm breeze on your skin? Every time sun kissed your face?…
But if you have been following me for a while and you haven’t had your sun-gasm yet, we still have more work to do here 😉
I often joke that in my sessions, I teach people how to feel.
But in many cases, that’s exactly what happens. A lot of people come to me to learn to experience better, stronger orgasms, to become multi-orgasmic or to master the art of full-body ecstasy. And everybody’s journey towards these experiences is different and unique. But it ALWAYS involves developing more sensitivity and more awareness of the subtlest sensations.
This process is not complicated or difficult. It simply takes time. Whatever you pay attention to, becomes stronger. Wherever your awareness flows, grows and expands. If you spend some time daily connecting to your sensory receptors, the neural connections between your brain and your pleasure will get stronger.
That’s the magic of human body – it always keeps adapting and changing.
It’s never still, it’s a process that keeps happening. And you can consciously affect this ‘becoming’.
The science of neuroplasticity tells us that neurons that fire together, wire together. That means that if you often feel grumpy upon waking up early, you’re linking the experience of early morning with a bad mood. If you often whinge about bad traffic, you’re wiring being in the car with having a horrible experience. And if you’re often getting stuck in your head during sex, you’re disconnecting yourself from the delicious pleasure in your body AND your full orgasmic potential.
There’s good news – this process is fully reversible.
You can completely turn around your relationship with your body, your genitals, your pleasure and the full depth of your orgasms. And this means teaching your nervous system how to feel again, how to feel better and deeper.
You need to learn how to feel things in your body that you may have never felt before – the flow of breath through your system, your muscles relaxing and contracting, the blood flowing through your veins, your heartbeat, the touch of clothes on your skin, the pressure of furniture underneath you, energetic flows and blockages manifesting as subtle sensations, the sense of aliveness just underneath your skin, temperature changes in and outside of your body and much, much more.
The best way to start is to spend 5 minutes (or longer) every day on a simple activity – feeling. This is a completely uninterrupted time – just you and your body. Make sure to sit or lie down comfortably, close your eyes and slightly deepen your breathing. Once you’re feeling relaxed, start slowly scanning your entire body. You don’t need to make anything happen, just look for sensations. Be curious but don’t form any specific expectations. Allow your body to surprise you.
When performed regularly, this exercise will start to completely alter your connection with your body. You’ll start to strengthen the existing and form new neural connections between your brain and your pleasure. You’ll start experiencing new types of sensations and your pleasure will gain new depth and new layers to it. You won’t believe that you’d ever been able to experience sexual satisfaction before!
This new level of sensitivity will open up a completely new landscape of sensuality, eroticism and orgasmic potential for you. Will you give it a go? I hope so!
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