The more work I do as a sex coach, the more aware I become of the depth and complexity of human sexuality. We all want and desire different things in the bedroom and we all have different ideas when it comes to creating a deeply connected and fulfilling intimacy. And...read more
In my work and in the content I put online, I do my best to educate and inspire, to show what great sex really is and how to create it.
I am very passionate about showing the world just how much is possible in the sexual realm and how to delve deep into our amazing erotic capabilities.
I talk about my own sexual experiences, I describe my self-pleasuring practices, my most intense orgasms, etc. in order to show that sex can be embraced as a normal, enjoyable and perfectly natural aspect of our lives. That we don’t need to feel embarrassed or ashamed when talking about sex and that it’s a subject as normal as health, travel and work.
The real sex
However, one of my friends pointed out to me recently that nobody talks about awkward sex, boring sex, and all the not-too-ecstatic sexual experiences.
The truth is, nobody has only amazing sex. The less-than-perfect sexual moments happen to all of us, regardless of how much experience we have and how well we know our bodies, our preferences and the preferences of our partner.
Sex is always fantastic only in movies and never in real life.
Real life experiences are different each time and there’s a variety of factors that need to be taken into account – how stressed we’ve been lately, how much we’ve been sleeping, how well we’ve been eating, how we feel about the partner at that particular moment and about our own selves.
Good turned bad
Some time ago I got together with one of the best lovers I had ever come across.
In the bedroom things were extremely steamy between us and he was making me orgasm so much, I would quickly lose count every time we were together.
And then something changed.
One day he came to my place, we had dinner and a chat.
Things soon moved to the bedroom and I was getting ready for another mind-blowing experience.
We started with some foreplay which aroused him visibly.
He seemed in a rush to get inside me and we moved on to penetration a little too quickly for my liking.
And within a few minutes he was finished and I was surprised, confused and frankly – disappointed.
Embrace the good and the bad
When bad sex happens – and it will! – embrace it.
Learn from it, discuss it with your partner, have a laugh at it.
Don’t take yourself too seriously in the bedroom, bad sex is not the end of the world!
Sometimes sex will be boring, sometimes uncomfortable and sometimes awkward.
None of that means that you’re a bad lover, that the two of you are not compatible in the bedroom or that the spark is gone.
It just means that you’re human and you’re having a perfectly natural, human experience.
Be honest with your partner and discuss your experience.
Learn what went wrong and why.
It’s all part of our sexual learning curve! 🙂
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