When I work with couples, there is one matter that keeps arising in a majority of cases – the woman complains about the way her partner touches her. I keep hearing ‘he is too harsh’, ‘he hurts me’, ‘I don’t like having sex with him’, ‘I don’t like the way...read more
I have just returned from my first ever SexCamp, now officially called ‘Celebrating Sexuality’. Located in a beautiful natural location in Victoria, it was a weekend packed with workshops run by Australian and international presenters. I have been to previous sex festivals and had a good idea about what to expect there – engaging information, wonderful people, breathtaking surroundings, yummy food and a very respectful atmosphere with their drug and alcohol free policy.
As I arrived on Friday afternoon, things started fairly slowly. We settled down into our tents and dorms, unpacked and had dinner. The first round of workshops started that evening at 9pm. Workshops were run in four spaces so you always had to choose one out of four options.
Very tired, I went straight to bed after it ended at 11pm. It wasn’t till the next day when things got real and spicy.
I went to a qigong class at 7am and then attended a discussion about gender fluidity in our society. It was very interested to learn that gender and sexual orientation are way more complex than we believe. Did you know that about the same amount of people are born every year with genital configuration that does not match their gender expression, as people who have red hair? That’s a lot of people! This is why we really need to start understanding and accepting in our modern world all the transsexual and genderfluid people. Binary understanding of sex and gender (male or female) is not accurate and quite discriminatory towards all people who do not match these criteria. And besides why do we need to categorize people according to this system anyways? Why does it matter whether we’re male, female or ‘other’? What does it change? And why do we need to choose?
These are all questions worth pondering…
Next I had a deeply embodied experience at the tantric de-armouring workshop and I got to scream my lungs out – very healing and empowering!
After lunch I joined a group of other participants at an experience of reclaiming our inner sluts. Wow! It was so much fun and so liberating! I had been slut shamed previously in my life which left me sad and confused. I really took that on for a while, I slept on it, I spoke to my friends about it, even consulted a professional therapist. In the end I realized that pretending to be a prude was not real to me and that my rich and colourful sexuality demanded an expression. And if a man could not handle it, then he simply was not the right guy for me!
Next I headed to the ‘Rite of passage’ ritual which truly left me mind blown. I had never experienced one before and had no idea what to expect. As I watched the facilitator running a presentation for us, my jaw dropped and I had a startling realization that I could never, ever do what she had just done. Her ‘performance’ seemed way too dramatic to me and I simply couldn’t act out anything this powerful. To my absolute surprise, her presentation actually activated my body and within ten minutes, I was in my own rite of passage, deep in my pain, anger and rage! It was beautiful, it was deep, it was transformative and very healing. I would repeat it in a heartbeat, the next chance I get!
After dinner, we had an extremely entertaining workshop on erotic massage run by a man who “wanked off half of Manhattan”, in his own words. I loved his fun and engaging approach!
I didn’t have it in me to stay past 10pm for a fashion parade and a party so I went to bed.
The next day, the fun, healing and interactions continued…
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